The shovel dug into the ground once again. I didn't know the right measures. This was my first time actually digging a proper grave. Never got to have one for Ryan. A fact that still haunts me.

I glanced at the tiny wrapped bundle. Someone had taken her from the house and made sure she was properly hidden away from view. I pushed the shovel into the ground and wiped the sweat dripping down my forehead.

An unexpected face found its way to me and my grave digging. Deanna approached the bundle with saddened eyes. I resisted the urge to tell her to get away from my niece.

She doesn't get to grieve her. Rhea was nothing to her. She held her at a party once and made a speech about the future generation. Well, I was now burying it. The future was cold and lifeless. Most importantly, it was lonely.

"I am very sorry for your loss, Josephine. To lose a child is unimaginable." She spoke to me.

As she said that, her eyes stared off into the distance. Her thoughts had probably wandered to her own dead kid. Aiden. Though he was a grown ass man who made terrible life choices.

I paused my digging. "She wasn't my child."

It seemed sily to correct her on her wording. But it mattered to me. She wasn't mine, she was my brother's. I didn't want to take credit for something that I didn't create. Nothing that innocent could come from me.

"Nonetheless. The pain is still there." Deanna remarked.

My chest ached as her words sunk in. I tried to ignore the slow build-up of emotion inside me. Deanna was right about one thing. The pain was still there. Some crying and sleep helped, but the loss of my niece still hangs in the air.

Maggie and Michonne came by to help with the burial while Deanna excused herself. Michonne took over my digging as I sat down on the grass. A pit formed in my stomach as the grave was almost finished.

"Do you want us to call Rick and the others? Maybe say a few words?" Maggie suggested.

What would be the point? Rhea hadn't even began to form a personality. She was a heavy sleeper and a fighter. That's all she got to be before she got taken away from our family.

Rick has been busy trying to keep watch in case the others return. I reassured him that I'd be okay on my own. And I meant it. The last thing we need right now is me falling apart. There's too much at stake.

"Too risky with all the walkers. This will do." I said.

Once Michonne was done with the grave, I got up on my feet and reached for my niece. The bundle was wrapped tight and I resisted the urge to remove it so I could see her. There wasn't much to see anymore, but I still longed for it.

I gently lowered her into the small hole in the ground. It was still too big for how small she was. My eyes stung and I cleared my throat before standing up again. Michonne handed me the shovel and I started burying her.

-----

"Is she awake?" I asked.

Denise looked up from a book she was reading. I watched blankly as she adjusted her glasses and nodded. She seemed to get nervous whenever I walked in to ask anything about my sister.

Though I don't understand why. There's been an influx of people coming through here. It's why they moved Dakota upstairs into a room of her own.

"Yeah, hasn't really said much though." Denise said.

My eyes narrowed. "And her injuries?"

In the commotion that occurred, I couldn't tell the extent of her wounds. Only that she was bleeding quite a bit. Maggie and I were able to get her to the infirmary before anything more serious happened.

"The stab wound in her side is going to take a while to fully heal. She should rest." Denise informed me.

I released a sigh as I glanced upstairs. I couldn't tell what was worse. Dakota being forced to stay in bed or being let loose to roam around. Both options sound like they're gonna cost me my patience.

"And the cut on her face?" I asked.

Denise hesitated. "It's superficial but it'll leave a scar."

I nodded before thanking her and making my way upstairs to Dakota's room. The door to her room was open and I didn't bother knocking. She was laying on her uninjured side staring blankly at the wall.

As she made no effort to acknowledge my presence, I took a chair and sat down in front of her. Her eyes were still glued to that wall. As if it held all the secrets of the universe.

"You're not even going to look at me?"

My question hung unanswered in the air. I fought the annoyance bubbling up underneath the surface. She was grieving in her own way, I knew that. It didn't lessen the resentment I felt.

"It was just one man," I said through gritted teeth, "you could've taken him out."

Carol said she saw a wounded man limping out of the house they were in. She took him down, not knowing what had transpired inside the actual house. One man.

I've seen my sister fight against the Governor's men without hesitation. Anything to keep her family safe. I don't understand how she could possibly freeze not only in front of walkers, but in front of someone who was a threat to our niece and nephew?

"Rick told me that you froze in front of walkers a couple of days ago. And I reassured him that it wasn't a big deal, that it didn't mean anything." I said.

A scoff left my lips at my own stupidity. I told Rick that I'd talk to her and I had the time to have that conversation. Yet I was so sure it could wait because Dakota wasn't going outside the walls any time soon. I also thought it was a momentary lapse in judgement.

"And now Ryan's daughter is dead." I snapped at her.

My breathing got heavy at her lack of response. She didn't just get any child killed. She got Rhea killed. Our niece. Our brother's daughter. One of the last pieces of him that we had and it was gone.

And it was her fault. She should've protected her. I trusted her to do it. I let my guard down, again, and this time it got a literal child murdered in cold blood. If I was here when it went down, I would've rather died than allowed this to happen.

But I wasn't here. And Glenn wasn't here. We both swore to honor Ryan by protecting his kids and we both failed because we trusted Dakota to do the one thing she reassured me ad nauseam that she could do. Keep them safe.

"Did you hear me? She's dead!" I exclaimed.

As soon as the words left my mouth, tears started streaming down my cheeks. I got up and bit back a sob threatening to escape. My eyes squeezed shut as I struggled to control my emotions.

I took a couple of deep breaths before facing Dakota again. She still hadn't looked my way, but her eyes were glistening with unshed tears. I could see the tight grip she had on the pillow underneath her head. But she still refused to show any reaction.

"She's dead because of you."

I wanted her to defend herself. To say that I was being hypocritical and that she did her best to protect both Rhea and Dorian. I wanted her to get up and punch me in the face for saying something so awful to her while she was grieving.

But she didn't.

My anger and despair only grew. She and I were the only ones left. It felt like Abby was dead, like I was never going to see her again, either. And the only family I had left was an orphaned nephew and a practically catatonic sister.

I rushed out of there slamming the door behind me. Denise called out my name in concern, but I disregarded her. My hands started shaking as I looked around trying to find something to center me.

Rick. I needed to find Rick.

As I walked the streets of Alexandria, something else caught my eye. Barely visible green balloons in the distance. The sound of hurried footsteps made me turn. I watched Maggie run and called out her name.

When she didn't slow down, I followed after her only to see Rick and the others up ahead also looking at the balloons. I wasn't close enough to be able to make them notice me, but the sight of Rick was enough to soothe me for the time being.

"That's Glenn," Maggie exclaimed, "that's Glenn."

As I gazed at the only sign of hope for the future, I allowed myself to take in a deep breath. If Glenn was okay, then so were the others. Maybe they found Abby. Maybe it would all still work out despite the loss we've ensured.

That's when I heard the wood splinter. My eyes went to the tower that was falling right on our walls and right where Rick was. Along with Deanna and a few others. I vaguely heard Rick shouting for everyone to get back before it collapsed.

A cloud of smoke filled the streets and I covered my eyes to avoid it. Once I finally opened them, I wished I had left them closed. The walkers we fought so hard to keep out had started to flood into our home.

My feet carried me towards the shouting as I took out my gun and started shooting. I could no longer see Rick or anyone else despite hearing the gunshots. I did, however, see a figure emerge from the smoke.

Maggie was running away but a wound to her thigh was slowing her down. I aimed at the walkers around her trying to keep them away from her. They were way too close for comfort. To her and to me.

I saw her slip and fall down which caused me to panic. I ran up to her and grabbed her arm pushing her ahead of me as I shot at the walkers practically nipping at our feet. Maggie grabbed my arm directing me towards one of the guard towers.

"Over there." She urged me.

Once we reached it, she climbed on as quickly as possible. Just in time, too. As I started climbing it, one side broke off making me grab the edge of the tower. My feet dangled as attracting prey to the walkers below.

"Maggie!" I panicked.

She grabbed my arm and pulled me upwards just as a walker's hands grabbed my foot. I grunted as I shook my leg back and forth before I was able to get it loose. With the help of Maggie, I was able to make it to the top where we both collapsed.

Heavy breaths escaped my lungs as I tried to make sense of what just happened. "Well shit."

As we laid there, my brain was working overtime. Dakota was safe within the infirmary. It was never empty so she had someone to take care of her and make sure all the doors are locked. Dorian had been taken in by the elderly man who Dakota had been visiting with the twins. His wife was killed, but he wasn't home when the attack happened.

Last I saw them, they were at the makeshift church with a couple of others. The man liked to pray for his wife so it was most likely he was there right now. Did I trust in complete strangers? Absolutely not, but people who wouldn't die for a baby are rare. Dorian was in safe hands. At least I hoped he was.

Rick was with Deanna, probably made it to one of the houses. My stomach twisted at the possibility of him not making it one. He was more than capable of surviving but his need to help others could undo him. Though that hasn't been the case lately. He seems to have gotten colder.

I shook my head trying not to get lost in things that aren't a concern right now. The sound of the walkers' groaning strained my ears and I found myself wincing at the sound. I sat up and looked at Maggie's thigh.

"How bad is it?" I asked.

She glanced at where I was looking and shrugged. "I'll live."

Worry was painted all over her face despite the nonchalant tone she used. I looked around and saw that the walkers had spread through Alexandria. There wasn't enough of a gap anywhere so that we could make a run for it. We had to hope this guard tower would hold for now.

"How many bullets-"

"I'm pregnant."

My shoulders tensed as Maggie interrupted me. I looked down at her as she was staring at the sky with her eyes full of tears. My eyes couldn't help but flicker to her stomach. Only now did I notice the protective hand she had over it.

As I looked at it, my mind went back to the moment we found Rhea. Maggie had also seen what she looked like. What those people did to an innocent child. I frowned at the thought.

"I need you to tell me it's gonna be okay." She pleaded.

Her head turned to look at me. It was almost funny that she asks that of me while we're trapped on an unstable tower surrounded by a herd of walkers. I wanted to ease her mind, but the thought of another child coming into this world terrified me.

Dorian and Judith were out there. Hell, I don't even know where Judith is. Or Carl. Or Enid. Or Abby. This world was not kind to children. Either they die or live a life of misery. Yet I couldn't tell any of that to Maggie. Her eyes were practically begging me to lie to her. Even for just a moment.

"It's gonna be okay, Maggie."

A tear slid down her face and she quickly wiped it away before nodding. She sat up and took out her gun. I checked the bullet situation and cursed under my breath. There were like 3 bullets inside. My own situation wasn't looking much better.

I took a peek over the edge of the tower and regretted doing so. The more of us they saw, the more relentless they got. There were like 2 layers of walkers glued to the wooden posts holding us up. We weren't getting past them.

"I could make a jump for it, get them away from the tower so you can make a run for it to one of the house?" I suggested.

Maggie shook her head in disagreement before I could even finish saying my possible plan. It could work. I'm a pretty fast runner, I could get them far away enough and maybe not lose a limb in the process.

"That's suicide. We're both getting out of this." She persisted.

The way things were looking, we were both more likely to die than live. I chewed on my bottom lip as I looked at our surroundings. It's not like we had a lot of options. None of them particularly good.

"Okay, then we could climb down the wall? Get away from Alexandria and get some cars to lure them away."

That was how the original plan, wasn't it? Just get in a couple of vehicles and get them away from our home. Other than the ability to drive, I don't see us needing any other skills. Other than the ability to stay alive.

"Even if my leg allowed me to jump down, there's walkers on both sides," Maggie sighed, "too many to simply run through them."

My eyes squeezed shut as she shut down another plan. So there's really nothing to do but wait for others to save us. It made my skin crawl. Being dependent on others was never my strong suit.

Even though I've been needing Rick to get through the last few days. It was an inmense comfort to have him and a terrifying curse to know I could lose that comfort at any moment.

"We'll have to wait it out." Maggie said.

----

A couple of hours had passed. Maggie and I watched the sun go down while trying to come up with a way out of our situation. There was none that we could see clearly. We were ill prepared for this.

The silence was pierced by sudden screams. I jumped to my feet at the sound. It was distant but clear. My fingers itched to get out my gun. They settled for simply touching it. It helped calm down my nerves.

"Can you see where it's coming from?" Maggie asked.

I squinted. "No, it's too damn dark."

There was more screaming then a single gunshot ringing out. My breath hitched as I paced back and forth, as much as I could at least, on the wooden tower. Some of the walkers were drawn by the sound.

But the ones guarding us were too aware of their possible snacks. Even with a couple of strays leaving us, there were still too many for us to handle with the amount of bullets we had.

My mind jumped to conclusions. I kept imagining it was Rick who had been torn apart or Carol or Michonne. A gut feeling told me it wasn't Dakota. If she went down, she'd do it quietly. Simply staring at nothingness.

Out of nowhere we heard a splintering sound. Then the floor beneath us started swaying. I grabbed Maggie by the arm and pulled her closer to the wall as the tower became more unstable.

I looked around in a panic but there was nowhere for us to go. Maybe over the wall, but we didn't have the bullets for that escape. That's when a gun started firing at the walkers around us.

A loud voice yelled at the walkers catching their attention. It was Glenn. Frantic and desperate and alive. Maggie gripped the railings and called out his name. I watched as the walkers got closer to him. I frowned at the sight. He won't be able to take on that many.

"Maggie! Josephine!" A voice called out.

Enid's head popped up out from underneath us. I crouched down and helped her climb up onto where we were. My eyes caught sight of the makeshift rope that she carried. I hesitated when glancing at Glenn fighting those walkers.

"Just go! Josephine, get her over!" I heard him yell out.

I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment before taking in a sharp breath. Enid let me take the sheets from her and I tossed them to the side of the wall as Maggie used her last 3 bullets to try and help Glenn.

She yelled at the walkers trying to get their attention. I noticed Glenn getting swarmed by walkers and I pulled Maggie by the arm as she resisted my attempts to get her to move.

"Glenn, no!" Maggie cried out, "Glenn!"

Tears gathered in my eyes as I was sure he wasn't going to make it and Maggie was going to have to watch her husband die in front of her. But then the walkers around Glenn fell down in a heap.

I looked up at the sound of gunfire only to see Sasha and Abraham standing on the walls of Alexandria. A giant weight fell off my shoulders as I stopped trying to move Maggie.

"Can you get the gate," Abraham winked at Glenn, "appreciate it, pal."

An involuntary laugh escaped my lips as they continued shooting at the walkers. Maggie noticed a van entering Alexandria and pulled at my sleeve. My heart skipped a beat as I realized who was behind the wheel.

Daryl parked right underneath the tower so all of us could get down without being endangered by the walkers. Abraham held out his hands to help me jump down onto the van. I could hear Glenn and Daryl talking inside.

When we were all on the roof of the van, Daryl drove us to the lake and I jumped down getting my knife out. I pushed away one walker with my foot and stabbed another. Daryl was tinkering with something at the back of the van, but I didn't have the time to check on him.

Glenn and I worked quickly to buy enough time for Daryl. Once he was done, he told us to get inside. Our eyes met for a split second before he climbed up onto the roof. The rest of us squeezed into a very small van space. I looked into the rear view mirror just as the lake caught on fire.

A few hours later, after taking down every single walker that was in our path, our group met up at the infirmary. I was bloody, exhausted and I feared looking around at who was left standing.

But I walked inside nonetheless. The first person I noticed was Daryl getting a cut on his back checked out. My breathing quickened as I stepped closer to him and put my hand on his arm.

He looked up and his eyes softened at realizing it was me. I gripped him tightly for a moment offering him a weak smile before letting go. He watched my hand fall back down to my side. I swallowed a lump in my throat and walked towards one of the rooms.

My eyes took in Rick's sunken form sitting next to his son. I froze at the sight of a bandage covering Carl's right eye. I only started breathing again at the sight of his chest going up and down.

The floorboards alerted Rick to my presence. It took him a moment to actually process it was me. His shoulders dropped and he slowly got up to reach me. My breath hitched at the sight of his watery eyes.

I stepped closer and let him fall into me. My fingers wound up in his hair as he grabbed onto me for dear life. It took me a second to realize he was shaking. I inhaled sharply as I hugged him as tenderly as I could.

"I love you." he whispered.

My eyes squeezed shut as I gripped him even tighter. He pulled back and put his hands on my face. A couple of tears slid down my face as I opened my mouth to speak but he interrupted me before I could.

"You don't have to say it back," he insisted, "i just need you to know it."

My jaw clenched as his words only made me cry more. He wiped them away and kissed my forehead gently. My lower lip wobbled as his touch ignited me inside and out.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love y-

"Josephine."

I wiped away my tears before looking behind me to see Carol holding my baby nephew. A shaky breath escaped my lips as I approached them. A weight had been lifted off of my shoulders upon seeing him.

Carol handed him to me with a weak smile on her face. I ignored her as I looked at Dorian's face. He seemed unbothered by all that had transpired within the last 48 hours. His little hands grabbing onto mine.

How I wished I could offer him a better life than the one he had. Orphaned since birth, without a permanent home, his twin sister brutally murdered. All he had were his aunts, and even we were barely standing.

I looked back at Rick only to see him sitting yet again. His hand wrapped around Carl's. He looked just as exhausted as me, sweaty and disheveled. A single tear slid down my cheek.

I love you, I'm sorry.