Never again.

Never trust.

We first.

The words painted on the walls stare back at me as the ropes dig into my skin. I inhaled deeply before stretching my neck in an attempt to see the room better. It seemed to be a hall of some kind.

Wherever I looked, I saw more of the same words scribbled onto the walls. No matter how hard I tried to concentrate, they were all I could think about.

"Do you know why it's you?"

The sound of her ominous voice made me hold in a groan. I've been in this situation so many times that it's gotten boring at this point. Our enemies always have a way of singling me out and then trying to isolate me from the others.

Never works, yet they keep trying. At this point, I don't know. Do I have the words traitor scribbled on my forehead?

"Because if it wasn't, the universe would collapse in on itself due to the grave importance of my existence?" I grumbled.

The woman stepped into view. Her ragged clothes gave her a scruffy and homeless look. Though I suppose we're all homeless now.

She knelt down in front of me. "I remembered your name from when your sister asked for you. She painted quite a nice, little image of you."

In an attempt to locate me, Dakota's been oversharing with lunatics. The image of me probably isn't flattering but accurate if I was that easy to recognize.

Maybe that's why when they took four of our own, I was grabbed, too. I don't know where the others were taken to. I had my own problem to solve.

"Save your breath," I said before leaning in closer, "propaganda doesn't work on me."

A couple of hours. That's all I'd been given with my sister before I was torn from her again. Having her so close yet so far reminded me of the brother I've lost and the sister I've yet to find.

After finding one, I was sure of finding the other. No amount of rope nor threats was going to stop me from doing that.

"It's freedom I'm offering. You understand. I can tell it. Something was taken from you, and the void it's left has consumed you." she mumbled, more to herself than me.

Her fingers gripped my chin as she pulled my head closer to hers. My eyes locked with hers. The reflection inside her eyes was one of a mad woman. The fact that my own reflection was in there didn't soothe me.

Whatever she saw in me, I saw it clearly reflected in her. The pain of loss and the need to keep what remains safe. I blinked away those thoughts.

I was not her. I was not them.

"I know you have them." I said.

The mention made her loosen her grip on me before letting go completely. My lack of focus on her words irritated her. Good. If there was one thing I was good at, it was doing the opposite of what people wanted me to do.

A sigh left her lips as she stood up again. "They're right down that hallway if you want to see them. All you have to do is say yes."

My eyes flickered over the door she pointed before opening my mouth to speak. There was no point in doing so because just as I did, the ground shook below us.

Surprise crossed both of our faces. If Rick has somehow managed to pull this off with the limited amount of weapons and advantages, then I've definitely made the right decision about him.

The woman ran off trying to figure out what was going on. As she did, I bent my body before reaching for my boot. They never check there for weapons. It's embarrassing at this point.

It took me a moment but I was able to get the small knife I hid in there. Cutting the rope that tied my feet and hands wasn't quick work but it was effective.

I wasted no time in heading for the hallway that the woman had mentioned. Another classic mistake. Telling me where to find what I'm looking for. It couldn't have been easier even if they had tried.

The sound of a woman humming inside one of the rooms caught my attention. I stopped for a split second before taking a deep breath and gripping the knife tighter in my hand.

I was about to charge in when I heard her yells. One peek inside made me freeze. I know I've had a lot of reunions but this was not one I expected.

Carol was fighting a young brunette woman. It seemed pretty brutal but all I could do was admire it. There was no joy to be felt, only shock. I only seemed to snap out of it when Carol was about to lose.

My knife found its way into the woman's throat. For a split second, however, I was back in the prison. Ryan's bloody neck on full display as his blank eyes looked into mine. My grip on the knife tightened for a moment.

Then I pulled it out and turned to Carol. "You took your sweet time coming back."

A smile formed on her face as she took a step towards me. Her eyes were already outstretched, prepared for a hug when we heard it. The cries that echoed throughout the room.

I moved towards the sound and found myself in front of the crib. A ghost of a smile passed my lips as I bent down and picked up the crying baby girl. I hushed her as her eyes bore into mine.

Ryan's eyes.

She was such a small and frail thing. The thought of those people merely holding her made me want to murder them. She was too precious to be tainted by them.

"Carol, meet Rhea," I swayed the baby in my arms holding her as softly as I could manage, "and Dorian."

My gaze was redirected to the baby boy sleeping in the crib, completely unaware his twin sister was getting all the attention. Carol smiled before picking up Dorian without waking him up.

"They're beautiful. Ryan and Dorothy are so lucky." she commented.

At the mention of their names, I momentarily stopped breathing. Rhea stirring in my arms made me snap out of it. I can't think about that right now. My niece and nephew need to get to somewhere safe.

"Yes, they are."

------

My eyes hungrily took in the way Daryl was holding Carol as close as he possibly could. Good to know they all made it out thanks to her ingenious plan.

"Let me hold her." Dakota said before taking Rhea from my arms.

Holding two babies at once wasn't comfortable nor safe, but if Carol hadn't handed me Dorian then Daryl would've squished him to death when he hugged her.

I kissed Dorian's forehead before passing him into the willing arms of Maggie. As much fun as babies are, not my area of expertise. I'll protect them, but raising them is a whole other thing.

Rick slipped past Maggie and wrapped one arm around me pulling me into him. Despite the involuntary public act, the gesture was very much welcome. I had no way of knowing whether they made it out or not after they were taken.

Having him touch me in any way was a comfort that I didn't expect to have the luxury of. It lasted way too short for my liking as Rick turned to Carol.

"Did you do that?"

The tears that gathered in her eyes gave enough context. Yet Rick still hesitated until Carol gave the slightest of nods. In that moment, it was clear that he forgave her for everything that went down at the prison.

She was once again a beloved member of the group instead of a rogue forced to live on her own. I knew that she wasn't supposed to be away from us. This was the universe's way of proving me right.

"You have to come with me."

The words were rushed and she offered no other explanation. Rick and Daryl followed her as the rest of the group trailed behind them. Dakota and Maggie were gushing over the twins.

Glenn and I watched them at the back of the group. "Thank you for keeping them safe."

He glanced at me as I turned to him. It was Maggie and Dakota that were there when the twins were born, but from what I've gathered, Glenn was the reason that they were still alive.

"I wish I could've kept their parents safe, too." he mumbled.

I swallowed a lump in my throat at the mention of Ryan. A part of me thought that it'd get easier. As if having Dakota and his kids back would make the hole inside my heart shrink.

If anything, it only seemed to expand. We were together yet incomplete. I didn't care about Dorothy. So upon finding out she died shortly after giving birth didn't affect me.

I know Dakota feels responsible for her death. A walker bite is what caused it. Brought on by them getting ambushed and Dorothy being too weak to protect her kids and herself at the same time.

"It's not on you, Glenn," I reassured him, "none of what happened is on you."

It's on me.

I clenched my jaw pushing down that thought. Being angry at myself, at Rick, at literally anyone else, wasn't helpful. Somehow it didn't make me feel any less responsible.

If I'd been stronger, maybe I could've protected him. Maybe I should've stayed at Woodbury after being kidnapped and found the Governor.

Kill him instead of running away with my sister. That could've prevented my brother dying. So many other things could've been done and somehow I always chose the wrong one. I always chose to follow others' instincts instead of my own.

"We keep Rhea and Dorian safe. As a way of honoring their parents." Glenn stated.

His eyes held determination but the pain behind them was even more evident. I wasn't the only one to lose Ryan. Glenn felt his loss just as much as Dakota and I did.

Protecting the twins was his way of trying to escape the guilt that he feels for not being able to save Ryan either. They were best friends, arguably brothers, too.

I put my hand on his shoulder making him turn his head to look at me. "We keep them safe."

The promise tied us together. An unspoken pact that'll help lessen the absence of a person we both loved dearly. A way to break free from the guilt if you will. Glenn put his hand over mine and squeezed it in comfort.

We reached the small cottage that I assume Carol was hiding out in. The doors opened and Tyreese exited it while holding a familiar kid in his arms. The reaction was almost immediate.

Rick and Carl ran towards them with tears in their eyes. Ready to smother her in kisses and hugs. I ached at the sight as anger rose within me once again. Their family was alive and well.

I bit the inside of my cheek as I tried to fight off the jealousy it evoked. My eyes went to Dakota and the twins. I wasn't alone, either. But I wasn't complete. It didn't feel like I ever would be again.

Dakota smiled at me with a hint of sadness reflected in her own eyes. However, it only lasted for a second before they widened. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as she handed one of the twins to Carol and ran past me.

As I turned around, my heart stopped beating. Dakota wrapped her arms around Abby while a quiet sob left her. From where I was standing, I could only barely make out her shape.

She was taller. Her blonde hair reached her elbows now, though it did nothing to hide the dirt it held. It was Abby, but she looked like a stranger. I stepped closer to her as Dakota released her hold on her.

Abby looked at me and a single tear slid down her cheek. Her pained smile matched mine as she walked up to me. I held her close to me as I fought off my own tears. The warmth of her body comforted me.

Yet I became aware of two soul crushing things in that moment.

One, holding her was the exact opposite of holding Ryan's body. He was cold and lifeless. Holding Abby should've made me feel better, but I only remembered him more. The feel of his limp hands and the blank eyes staring aimlessly at me.

Two, having my sisters back and alive was a rush of relief washing over my body. Yet it did not fill the void inside. I was supposed to feel complete again once I was reunited with them. I wasn't complete. Ryan was still gone forever.

And a piece of me was gone with him.