"You look like shit."

"You gotta work on the way you compliment sick people."

I cracked a smile as Ryan leaned back in his chair. The glass wall separating us made me feel even worse.

"You know our sister better than that. She'll be insulting us on her deathbed." Dakota said.

Ryan smiled with his eyes half closed and unfocused. It was clear that he was trying to look strong for us. But the illness was working against him.

He motioned at my bruise. "What happened to your face?"

"What happened to your face?" I shot back.

Dakota slapped the back of my head and I glared at her. She gave me a stern look as she focused her attention back on our brother.

"It's nothing you need to worry about. All you have to do is get better." I said.

He inhaled deeply. "Is that all? Just survive a deadly illness that there's no cure for?"

I flinched at his approach to it. He wasn't going to die from this. I wasn't going to let him. His kid will have both of his parents.

"Hey, don't think like that. I'm heading out with Daryl and a small group. We're gonna get the medication that you need." Dakota stated.

Ryan rubbed his face and sat up straighter in his chair. "Where's Abby?"

I took a deep breath studying his face. He was pale. Paler than I'd ever seen him before. It wasn't a good look for him. The bags under his eyes weren't helping either.

"The administration building, as a precaution." Dakota replied.

Ryan went to reply but he coughed into his elbow instead. The sound of his coughs made me get goosebumps. I got up from my seat and went outside.

Dakota called out for me but I ignored her. My feet carried me as far as they could. Once I was outside the prison walls, I tried to breathe properly.

It didn't feel like any air was coming into my lungs. I sat down on the floor closing my eyes. It'll be fine. He'll be fine. Nothing bad is going to happen to him.

I dug my nails into my palms trying to distract myself from all the thoughts swarming at me all at once. Once I heard footsteps, I immediately opened my eyes and got up.

It was Daryl, exactly what I didn't need right now. He saw me and slowed down. I could see the hesitation on his face. He nodded at me and passed by.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked.

I didn't have to turn around to know that he stopped moving. My chest went up and down as I tried to steady my breathing.

"Doing what?" He asked.

I turned around to face him. "This. I hurt you, and I get it, but you're being cruel."

He just keeps pretending like we never cared for each other. I thought I could do it too, make it easier for him. But I can't.

He avoided eye contact. "What do you want from me, Josephine?"

A heavy sigh left my lips as I crossed my arms over my chest. My fingers went up and down as I tried to word what I was feeling. Despite my best efforts, I couldn't.

"I don't know. But I don't want this."

He nodded and looked at me properly for the first time in months. His eyes couldn't hide the frustration that he felt. The frown on his face only deepened the more he thought about what I said.

"Well, you let me know when you figure it out."

I flinched at the resentment in the tone of his voice. He walked off into the prison and it took everything in me not to follow him.

-----

"I don't like it." I stated.

Carol put another backpack into the car as I stood next to her. Apparently she and Rick were going for a run to get more supplies.

Carol smiled. "Nobody said you had to like it. You and Maggie gotta keep the place going."

"I would rather go with you than stay here and babysit." I grumbled.

The truth was, I didn't want to see Ryan in the state that he was. Hell, I wanted to run away from here as far as humanly possible.

"Well, Rick needs people he trusts here." said Carol.

I frowned at her words and leaned against the car. Something was up with her and Rick. There was this tension that I didn't like.

"You're saying that like he doesn't trust you."

"He doesn't, not after what I did."

She gave me a pointed look, basically telling me to connect the dots. I didn't understand. The only thing that she could've done is... Oh.

I looked at her in surprise. "You were the one who killed Karen and David?"

She nodded. I opened and closed my mouth not knowing what to say. She had left me speechless. I mean, it was obvious why Rick didn't trust her.

He was very much against killing people. Now even more than at the beginning. I don't think he expected it from Carol.

"Why didn't you tell me? You know I would've helped you." I said.

Carol killed them to save all of us. If they'd lived, they could've infected more people. If she had asked, I would've even done it instead of her.

She smiled sadly. "I know. That's exactly why I didn't ask. I didn't want to drag you into that."

I frowned as Rick came with a freshly bandaged hand. His knuckles were hurt from when he punched Tyreese. Carol nudged me with her shoulder before entering the car.

I stuck out my tongue at her before going up to Rick. "Ranger Rick, what's the plan?"

Maggie was in the administration building checking up on everyone. She's been a bit distraught since Glenn got infected. I can't really blame her considering my reaction to Ryan getting sick.

"Keep everyone in quarantine. Make sure no fights break out," he gave me a pointed look, "and don't start any fights."

I put my hands on my hips as I huffed at him. "That was one time!"

He shook his head and entered the car. Carol glanced at me and I waved at her. She smiled at me as they drove off. I sighed and looked at the prison. Well this was going to be hell.

------

I landed on the ground and groaned at the dull ache in my body. My face scrunched up into a grimace as I pulled myself up.

"Come on, Malloy. You wanted to train." Cleo said.

I huffed as I got into a fighting stance again. She was already prepared and started circling me. I put my hands into fists.

"Train? Yes. Get my ass handed to me? No." I replied.

She swung her fist at me. I dodged it and tried to get the side of her head. Her hand blocked it and I pulled back so she couldn't strike at me.

She faked an attack and I moved away. Most of my tactic is defensive moving. Cleo is too advanced for me to go into the offensive. That and she predicts it easily.

"Have you gone to see your brother?"

I threw a punch that she blocked. Her other hand grabbed my arm and twisted it behind my back. I hissed in pain.

"No." I said.

I threw my head back slamming it into hers. She released my arm and I kicked her in the stomach. She pulled back as I tried to fight off the throbbing in my head.

She wiped her forehead. "You shouldn't avoid him. He might not make it."

I chose to ignore my tactic and lunge at her. She flipped me over and I was right back where I had started. However, I wasn't about to stop.

I swung my legs at hers knocking her down. She fell down and I climbed on top of her. My hands went around her throat and I squeezed as hard as I could.

For a while, it seemed like I had finally gotten the upper hand. But then she rolled us over and pinned me to the ground. I landed on my stomach with my face pushed into the mat.

I thrashed in her grip letting out grunts of frustration.

"So that's what this is about? You're scared for your brother?" She asked.

Her voice was hoarse from the way I choked her. I was supposed to feel bad about that. But I didn't. My breathing was unsteady as I refused to stand still.

She tightened her grip. "You can't help him in the state that you're in."

Tears filled my eyes and I blinked them away. She didn't understand. I closed my eyes trying to block out everything.

"I can't help him at all." I weakly let out.

Cleo slowly released her grip and got off of me. I pulled myself up until we were both sitting on the mat. She looked at me as if though she was waiting for more.

"I can kill walkers," I bit my lip, "but I can't kill this illness."

She put her hand on my knee and took a deep breath. I didn't want her sympathy nor advice. She was my mentor, not my therapist.

"You're right, you can't. What you can do is be there for your brother. Go see him."

She got up and gathered her things as I sat there. The mere thought of seeing Ryan in the state that's he's in made me feel uneasy. I didn't want to see my baby brother like that.

But Cleo was right. I had to be there for him. He's family and family comes first. So I forced myself to get up and go to the door separating cell block A from the rest of the prison.

There was a woman there and I asked her if she could get Ryan. She left and I leaned against the wall. Even that woman looked terrible and she was up and about.

Once I heard footsteps, I immediately pushed myself off the walk. However, instead of Ryan showing up, it was Hershel.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "Where is he? Where's Ryan?"

You're telling me that after all the time I spent trying to make myself come here, it's too late? He has to be here. Cleo was right, I had to see him.

"He's just resting, Josephine." Hershel reassured me.

"No. No, I need to talk to him." I argued.

His eyes softened as he came closer to the door. I don't need him to comfort me. What I need from him is to bring Ryan here so I can speak with him.

"I can send him a message if you'd like." Hershel offered.

I started pacing behind my side of the door. Why wouldn't Ryan come see me? Is he too sick to move? Is he mad at me for storming out?

"No, that's not..." I trailed off.

Hershel nodded. He understood that I just wanted to make sure my brother was alright. And it was too late.

"I'll keep him safe, you keep Maggie safe." He said.

I nodded at his words. We both knew he'd make sure Ryan was okay even if I didn't keep an eye on Maggie. But what was fair was fair.

"Deal."