My eyes stared blankly at the road in front of us from the front seat. Despite my cold demeanor, inside I was on the verge of screaming. It wasn't right to let Daryl leave.

He deserved to be part of this group and I think I deserved to be there with him. After all the crap I've endured, it's not fair that he gets taken away from me. Rick glanced at me from the corner of his eye and he looked like he was holding back from speaking.

We both knew that leaving Daryl was a mistake, but he hadn't grown close to him in the way that I did. All these months, I've been trying to learn what it's like to be with someone who I care about and who cares about me.

It all feels like a joke now. Was there even a reason for it if he was always bound to just leave? I was so close to accepting his offer of being in an actual relationship.

After having to leave him behind, all the doubts I had had vanished. Now it's more clear than ever that I could never be what he wanted me to be.

The car stopped after we encountered another vehicle in the middle of the road blocking our way. As we exited, Glenn went to open the car to try and start it but a walker lunged at him from the inside. Rick pulled out his gun as I stepped closer ready to help.

Glenn refused our help and proceeded to bash the walker's head with his foot. A frown etched itself onto my face as he didn't stop for a while and he was breathing heavily.

Whatever happened to him and Maggie with the Governor must've been worse than it seemed. He was obviously upset and frustrated which made me wonder why I wasn't. Maybe years of abuse get you used to dangerous situations.

"You didn't kill him." Glenn spoke up.

"That's not why we went back." Rick said.

"No, that's right. You went back for Daryl. And now he's gone again and the Governor is still alive." Glenn said.

Glenn was never the bloodthirsty type before. I glanced at Maggie and noticed she seemed upset as well. The Governor must've hurt her if Glenn is resolving to murder.

The two lovebirds are willing to die and kill for each other, that much is clear.

"Daryl was the priority."

"I should've been there."

"You were in no condition."

"But my girlfriend was?!"

Their arguing filled the air as I heard groans from a distance. I turned around and saw a lone walker in the woods. It was being attracted by the noise of Rick and Glenn fighting. I bit my lip waiting for it to get closer before doing anything.

"Glenn, this isn't about us." Maggie retorted.

Glenn repeated that he should have been there to which Rick protested saying that he could barely even walk. Maggie was brought into the conversation as Glenn questioned Rick if he knew what the Governor did to her.

All Maggie wanted to do was to be left out of it. I glanced at Dakota still sitting in the car.

"After all that effort, all the risk we took, Daryl just takes off with Merle? How are both of you fine with that?" Glenn asked.

His eyes connected with mine and I shifted uncomfortably knowing that he knew there was something between us now.

From the way he was looking at me, I have a feeling he knew even before. Just like Rick and Carol. Sometimes words weren't needed to figure this stuff out.

"He chose his family. Can you really claim that you wouldn't do the same? I would, and I did." I replied.

Dakota was proof of that. I could've gone with Daryl if I really wanted to. But just like he chose his family, I chose mine. Family comes first, no matter what.

You'd think they'd understand that after everything that everyone went through to find their families.

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. Doesn't change the fact that we're up to our necks in shit." Glenn said.

Rick scoffed stepping closer to Glenn as I heard groaning behind me. The walker was close enough for me to take out my knife and stab it through the eye.

It fell down and I took out my knife feeling my heart race. All this fighting won't help us in the war against the Governor.

"You want me to turn the car around, beg him to come back? Throw down a welcome mat for Merle? This is the hand that we've been dealt!" Rick yelled.

As angry as I am with him for not letting me go back for Daryl and forcing his decision on me, he had a point. Once Daryl knew about Merle, there was nothing anyone could've done to stop him from going after him.

"Let's just get this out of here and get back. Get some rest, we can talk it out there." Maggie said.

It was clear she just wanted to get back to her family where she was safe. As for me, the thing I dreaded most was going back because then reality sets it.

Daryl left, Dakota's back and we're officially at war. The world really likes screwing me over.

"No, you guys do all the talking you want. I'm done." Glenn retorted.

I watched as he went towards the car in which Dakota was waiting patiently. The two of them seemed to have struck up a conversation. I narrowed my eyes before going to help Maggie and Rick with moving the car from the road.

--------

"Not that I don't appreciate the display of affection, but you're going to choke me to death."

I pulled away from Carol's arms as I realized that I might've hugged her a tad too tightly. A part of me couldn't believe that she was right there in front of me.

Being kidnapped means you don't get to find out when a member of the group comes back from assumed death.

"You should be happy. I don't give those out just like that." I reminded her.

A smile tugged on her lips as I playfully punched her shoulder. Daryl wasn't here anymore, but Carol was. Although that didn't make me feel okay, it was still better than from what I felt before.

It was only yesterday that I was telling Daryl that I missed her. I didn't think I'd be missing him now instead.

"Did you talk to Daryl? Before he left?"

"A bit. Merle is a jacksss, but he's still Daryl's brother. And as much as I might hate Daryl's decision, I would've done the same thing. Hell I chose Dakota at the same time that he chose Merle."

A pained smile formed on my face as I shrugged. Carol and I never talked about what was happening between me and Daryl but she knew.

Seeing her again reminded me of her words that I don't have to be angry all the time. So I'm not going to pretend to be angry with Daryl nor will I curse his name until the end of time.

"And how are you handling her return? You might not be angry at Daryl, but your sister leaving was always a sore topic." Carol said.

I nodded looking to the other side of the cell block. Dakota, Ryan and Abby were sitting in Ryan's cell catching up on everything.

I was barely there for a few moments, just to reassure my siblings that I'm alive. Dakota still felt like a stranger to me, more so than any Woodbury resident.

"Well, who doesn't get abandoned by their sibling in the middle of the apocalypse, am I right?" I asked.

A fake smile was plastered onto my face as I felt my anger bubbling up inside. I never thought that Dakota would leave us. Her taste in men was always terrible but she still always chose her family. Until she didn't.

"Why don't you try to see it from her perspective?" Carol suggested.

"I'm more of a 'judge first and ask questions later' kind of woman." I replied.

She gave me a stern look as I shrugged and walked away. The last thing I wanted to hear was how I should consider other people's feelings.

I would've known her feelings if she had stuck around and talked to me. Instead I get a lame letter and a fear of her never returning.

The sound of laughter spread through Ryan's cell and I stopped at the entrance. Dakota was drinking water as Abby grinned at her. For a moment, it reminded me of the good days we had.

It only lasted for a few seconds and stopped when Ryan looked at me with a smile plastered onto his face.

"Jo, I was just telling Dakota about the bro cave Glenn and I built back in the CDC."

"I can't believe I missed a pillow fort and video games."

Dakota and Ryan laughed as they didn't seem to notice my lack of amusement. Abby was the only one who was watching me with worried eyes.

She was only thirteen but she was already smarter than most people. Either that or she knew me too well. A fake smile formed on my face as I pretended to join in on the laughing.

"You missed a lot. For example, Ryan almost letting himself die in a giant explosion."

Silence filled the cell as Ryan 's eyes found mine in shock. He opened and closed his mouth as Dakota looked at him.

Her face portrayed the surprise that went through her at the revelation. The fake smile on my face stayed on despite me wanting nothing more than to scowl at my older sister.

"Since we're on the topic of siblings dying, I got shot by strangers in the woods. Then a giant herd of walkers tried to kill us all. But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you? Because you weren't there." I said.

The smile slowly slipped from my lips as flashes of every bad thing that happened to us went through my head. Dakota lowered her head not looking me in the eyes.

My chest went up and down as I felt myself breathing more heavily. She wasn't even going to defend herself. Somehow that only made me angrier.

"This isn't the-" I cut off Ryan while stepping closer to Dakota.

"Where were you, Dakota, huh? While the world was falling apart and your siblings were in danger. Where. Were. You?"

By now, the smile had left my lips and my voice was seething with venom. All the suppressed anger was coming through and stopping it was the last thing on my mind. Keeping our family safe was difficult enough when I had my sister by my side.

When she left, it was my job to protect everyone. Despite having Ryan and Abby, I felt completely and utterly alone because even when I had nothing... I had Dakota.

"She had her reasons, Josephine." Ryan said.

I looked at him in disbelief. What reasons could she possibly have for abandoning her family? I almost did that once but I regretted it instantly.

If she cared for her siblings, she would have returned the moment any kind of guilt appeared. The fact that she didn't is proof that she didn't care that she left us.

"Oh yeah? What exactly were those? So she could fuck a man who never gave a damn about her? She tossed us aside to fend for ourselves and you're defending her?!" I exclaimed.

We were all alone with people we barely knew. It's a situation which was only tolerable because she was there and once she wasn't?

We had to learn to adapt on our own. Hell, there were days when I thought we were going to die and all I wanted was my big sister to be by my side. She wasn't.

"She's family!"

"That word has no meaning to her! She proved that when she left us for a stranger."

Dakota stood up and opened her mouth. I raised my hand silencing her as I took deep breaths to calm down.

It took everything in me to hold back tears that wanted so desperately to form in my eyes. I inhaled deeply stepping backwards.

"Don't. We needed you and you weren't there. I hope you'll be able to live with that for the rest of your life." I snapped.

Dakota's eyes softened as I walked out of the cell hearing Abby call out my name. I walked further away from the cell until I could no longer hear her or any of the others.