we sit back on our couch
and watch your favourite movie
we keep hitting the replay
you see the lantern scene
i picture us in a lush green field
among the daisies and lilies

i bring in your favourite cookies
i remember the time
when we used to kiss
like we were seventeen
and there's no tomorrow
and you tasted like marshmallow

where are the days gone now
lost in the pages of an old diary,
pressed with a dried rose in between?
why do you push me away
like the shore pushes the wave
yet your fingers linger around mine
trying so hard not to intertwine
you rest your head on my shoulder
the tattoo of your heart
underneath my shirt
warmed by your ear
all i wanted was a love
like the people in the movies share

as the midnight mizzle comes down
you run out in the garden
dancing in the rain
"i don't drink rain, i drink the whole sky", you used to say

why's everything in a haze around me?
where are you going, my love?
did the sky drink you?
why am i going back to the void again
why are you always a figment of my mind
and never mine?
were all those moments with you
just a delusion of my solitude?

i wish i could live in my own mind
i wish i was my own illusion.

- May, 2024