What does October have which you have too?
Why do I miss you so much more,
As soon as the calender reads 01-10?
Is it because it has you?

Is it because you smell like fall,
like the sweet smell of apple pie
making the call of fall?

Or like the comforting cool breeze,
gushing through the windows,
fluttering the curtains,
making me feel like to stay there evermore?

Remember, last year, during this time,
we'd still be in school,
while the birds in the sky,
returned to their home?
We'd sit by the windows
behind each other singing cardigan.
I miss pattin' your back
I miss sharing our darkest secrets
With not so sweetly smiling,
But still assured deep within,
"I have you."
"Yes. You have me."
We used to be so exhausted at the day's end
But the love of nature and of you
Never made it feel unbearable.
But we all knew it was just a few counting days more...

That room, those benches, those walls
Have witnessed so much more history
Than any historian could ever record.
But this history isn't something
Which everyone would want to know,
Or which everyone ought to know.

I'll do now nothing less than a confession.
I miss you.
And I miss you.
I miss you so much that I feel
I'll prolly go insane
if I don't see you within the next nanosecond
Or I'll prolly die
Out of this insufferable pain.
My heart cries for you,
longs for you to come back to me
But I know as much as you do,
That you can't although you want to.
My vision becomes blurry
By the avalanche of tears
Why aren't you here,
Come back to me, my dear!

It was all so deadly silent
in the afternoon today.
Except for me bawling
and the birds chirping
and the leaves rustling.
I missed the chaos of the class.
It had so much serenity in it.
Your smile was flashing in front of my eyes
Your voice ringing in my ears
And I thought I was dying.

You'll always be my favourite old cardigan
Who makes me understand love
In different ways
Everyday, all over again.
I hope to stay as your little cove
even after I grow old.

- October, 2023