Trigger warnings: mentions of cutting, suicide.
Please read with caution.

Will pretended not to notice the small blade hidden in Nico's bathroom. There were some days, when the blade was stained with blood, but for most days, it was clean.

On the bloody days, like today, he would grab Nico by the shoulders and steer him into the infirmary. He would pull Nico's sleeves up, much to his protests, and wrap gauze around the slashes. Afterwards, he would take him to Nico's cabin, and there, they would cuddle. Normally, Nico didn't speak, and Will didn't push. He would hold Nico throughout the night as he sobbed onto his shoulder. Nico would fall asleep soon afterwards and Will would creep into his bathroom and wash the blade. He contemplated taking it away many times, but it didn't feel right. It was Nico's therefore, it was his decision. That didn't mean Will supported whatever Nico's was doing. He didn't, but who was he to say...

Nico usually shut himself out whenever Will brought the subject up. Will didn't push. The last time that happened, Nico had shadow traveled to the underworld for three whole days. When he got back, his bags under his eyes were worse than before. Will couldn't risk it.

He reentered the room, where Nico had just woken up. "Soup?" He asked, picking up a bowl. Nico nodded with his head down, an unreadable expression on his face. He had been around Nico enough to know that it was shame.

He picked up the spoon and slowly fed Nico, and he didn't argue. "We need to talk" Will said, as he put down the finished bowl. Nico was silent.

"Why do you do it?" Will asked, not unkindly.

"Why are you here?" Nico asked back, deflecting Will's question.

Will raised an eyebrow, "I'm sorry, what?"

Nico rolls his eyes. "I mean, why are you helping me? Why are you still here? Even after you knew I... cut. Any sane person wouldn't want to have to do anything with me anymore."

Will stopped. "Nico... do you really think that?"

Nico looked up, and tears were running down his face.

"You don't need to stay, because you feel pressured to, Will. I can handle myself just fine!"

"Nico, I'm not fucking pressured to do anything. I'm helping you because I love you. I'm helping you because you deserve to be helped. You're my boyfriend, Nico. And you know dam well that I will never leave you no matter the cause. You are loved, Nico. Get that in your stubborn head. And you say you're doing just fine. Right. Didn't I just have to treat your wounds? I wouldn't call that fine, would you? Do you honestly think that will make me leave?? I'm trying to help, Nico, but it's so dam hard when you keep pushing me away. It hurts. Seeing the love of my life in pain. It so fucking hurts, Nico. And I'm helpless to stop it."

Now both of them were crying.

"Will...Will, I'm so sorry. I didn't think you felt this way. I'm sorry. I love you. Please forgive me. I won't- I won't do it anymore. I promise. Will believe me. Please believe me, Will"

Will let out a shaky breath. "I believe you, Nico"

Nico nestled in closer into the crook of Will's neck. "It just- feels so lonely, Will, it feels so lonely."

Will rubbed Nico's back tenderly. "I understand." He whispered.

He suddenly put his head up, and Nico looked up, confused. Will slowly pulled his sleeve back, revealing three long slashes, from his wrist to the lower arm.

"I understand"