Five | Will  

    A/N: Before we begin today, I would just like you all to know that I am not, in any way, homophobic. Any comments in the story are made by fictional characters. I do not necessarily share those opinions. If anyone reading this IS homophobic, then why the fuck are you here? Get out! Also, I was trying to portray these characters as standard mid-twenties males, so their language may not be appropriate at any given time.

    I bust out the keys to their apartment with a crease between my brows. My roommate had come out to me yesterday. As gay. And.. I won't lie, I wasn't very kind to him after that. I don't know why, or what came over me I just... it didn't make sense. He was a pretty good dude. Why did he have to turn gay? It was stupid. Anyways, I was a dick to him. It's probably a good thing the queer was so stubborn. He kicked me out before I could do anything too unforgivable.

    As you can see, I've thought it through. Again, he was a pretty good dude. I still needed a roommate. So I was there to apologize. 

    I turn the lock and open the door hesitantly. My nose was immediately assaulted with the smell of alcohol and... what is that? Lemons? 

    "Nico?" I called. No reply. I walked to the middle of the room. From here I can see the kitchen, living room and dining room. A few cans and bottles that I assumed used to hold beer were scattered around the place. But still no Nico. Starting to worry, I moved towards the hallway and open the bathroom door, searching for his familiar brown curls. He wasn't there. My heart pumped a little faster as I closed the door and called out again. "Nico?"

    That's when I heard it. A small groan echoed from the bedroom, sending floods of relief in my direction. I smiled slightly and closed the distance between myself and the door. "Dude, I thought you killed yourself or something." The door creaked slightly when I push it out of my way. "Oh."

    What I see was not pleasing, to say the least. He was ignoring me completely. He didn't even look up from his arm when I enter. At one point he actually groaned again. From pain, I assume. I rush forwards and gently remove the lemon from his left hand, which he had been rubbing on his cuts. There we three of them. Long gashes made by who knows what run from his wrist to his elbow, adding to the scars that already decorated his Flexors. "Nico, what the fuck?" I question pitifully.

    He looks up at me tiredly and hiccups, all with a mad look in his eyes. "Lemons keep away the germs," he slurred. I look down and sigh. He's still drunk. I wonder how early he started. If he had been drinking since I left or if he fought the temptation until early this morning. Either way, he's a mess. 

    "Come on," I said.

    "What? Fuck no. The bed is comfy."

    "Nico," I gave him a stern look, one I used for my sister. I don't know if what I saw in his eyes was hatred or him giving in, but either way, the stubborn cloud had receded. I hefted him up so that his arm was on my shoulder. He managed to stand without much trouble, but if I wasn't there I doubt he would get far. 

           ***

    Nico didn't struggle at all on the way to the kitchen, thank god. He just stumbled awkwardly, every once in a while letting out a groan of protest. In the end I had to carry him the last couple feet, which he hated.

   "Don't fucking touch me, pig," he sneered. That hurt. But I didn't let go until he was safely sitting on the kitchen counter.

    "Nico, please don't move, okay? I'll be right back," I promised. He slurred a lot of incoherent swears that I think were meant to mean, 'whatever.' I just let him. I knew I deserved all the shit he was throwing at me.

    I kept my head down as I shuffled into the bathroom and picked up my emergency medical supplies from underneath the sink. I return to him in silence. To my surprise, Nico didn't do anything since I'd gone other than kick his feet against the counter. I grabbed his ankles to stop the pounding. I painted the cupboards last week! 

    "Hold out your arm." I ordered.

    In response, he glared daggers.

     "Nico," I insisted, "hold out your arm." And he did. Smart Alec. I sighed and grabbed the wrist of his other arm. The injured one. I took my opportunity to inspect it more. The cuts were fairly deep, but not enough to actually damage anything. They were clean as well, but slightly ragged. As if he had been shaking when he made them. And his 'disinfectant' method seemed to work well. I couldn't help but notice how they almost looked professional. Done by a well learned hand. The thought saddened me. 

    I got to work. Nico snorted tiredly when I laid out various gauze pads and bandages. "I'm just gonna stop the bleeding," I stated, then applied slight pressure on top of the cuts with a cloth. After while I found I could lift it off without much blood welling up. I pulled out a tube of polysporin. "See this?" I asked. He nodded. "This is actual disinfectant." But his eyes aren't on me. Instead they move around my arms, chest... it makes me uncomfortable. Now that he's gay I wonder if he's checking me out. I subconsciously move the first aid kit closer in between us and start to apply the ointment. After I'm done I tape some gauze pads onto him, deciding they're not bad enough for stitches. 

    "You won't pick at it, right?" he looks up at me with sad eyes. It's pitiful, really. But his nod doesn't convince me. I pick up a tensor bandage and show it to him before starting to wrap it gently. This takes a while, and the silence is awkward, so I try to make conversation, maybe lead into an apology.

    "So, um. When did you turn gay?" Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. Nico's eyes harden the moment it comes out of my mouth.

    "People don't fucking turn gay, Solace. It just is."

    I crinkled my brow. I figure the safe route is the best way to go. "Sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't - I didn't know" I breathed. Shame flowed through me. 

    "Yeah, I figured. You don't know shit." he stated, ice cold daggers hidden in his words. 

    "I'm not trying to be homophobic, really Nico. I know I suck and I've been a dick but I'm willing to learn. Please forgive me," I begged. Something in his eyes changed, but he closed them. He still looked disgusted with me. "Nico," I plead again. 

    I suck in a breath as he looks up at me, but he's still steely. Why is he still so angry? I apologized. And I meant it. "Listen okay, the only reason I was irritated was because you brought that boy Percy over. I don't know why it made me so upset... it's not that I'm angry it was a dude I just... felt repulsed. Like I was going to throw up. Is that... is that bad?" I asked him. Because in reality, I wasn't sure. Why was I so revolted by his boyfriend? Did that make me a jerk?

    "Well have you ever thought it made me upset when you brought your fuck buddies over?" he slurred.

    I blinked. "What?"

    Nico sighed. "Fuck you, Solace."

    My eyebrows furrowed heavily. I could get that he was angry, but I was trying to make it up to him.

    "Listen, okay. I get that I was being a piece of -" I started, but he cut me off. With a kiss. At the time, I wasn't sure why, but my heart soared. It felt... different. When I kissed him, it was better. Than kissing a girl, I mean. I was shocked, of course. But I couldn't pull back. His lips were rough, and I liked it.

             ***

    So the moral of the story is, maybe you're not as straight as you think you are, because I sure as hell wasn't. Because it turns out maybe I didn't mind that Nico was kissing guys... as long as he was kissing me.