Lily: well I think I look rather--*twirls*--STRIKING--*raises eyebrow*--today.

Elijah: I duct tape your mouth shut if you say one more word

Jason: that's my girl :'D

---

Person: did you just see that gay couple passing by?

Me: yes?

Person: well I think it's gross--

Me: *twists head all the way around to stare at him, with wide, unwavering eyes*

Me: I'm sorry. I didn't know pieces of shít had opinions

Girl behind him: ooooooh

Girl's friend: *drags her away* you really don't understand social cues, do you?

My friend: *pats my shoulder* good work

---

*if I was in a Percy Jackson play*

My friend: Ava what scene is this

Me: *pretending to die*

Me: oh, this is ten years into the future

Me: when Percy realizes his daughter's favorite color isn't blue

My friend: pfft--

------

Leo: all the Weapons are gone, without a trace. They've disappeared overnight and no one noticed--something smells fishy about this

Annabeth: it's Percy's morning breath.

Percy: I didn't have time to brush my teeth you absolute month-old burrito.

-----

Zeus: you have to reason with her she's going crazy

Hades: ugh fine. (The shit I do for you guys)

Hades: Aphrodite. As much as I want my son to live forever and be happy with his boyfriend, we can't hand out immortality to everyone--

Aphrodite: *death stare* *murderous aura* hmm???

Hades: *shadow-travels away*

Demeter: the story of why Solangelo is forever