AU where Reyna is Nico's baby sitter because Jason, aka 'mom' (that's what Nico called him as a baby and it stuck) is going to take his girlfriend Piper out to dinner.

Reyna: have fun lesbians

Jason: FUCK YOU IM MANLY AS HELL

Nico: MOM WHY ARE WE YELLING???

and they play dolls and it's basically like this:

Percy: *goes to prison for stealing a burrito*

*gets badass SPQR tattoo*

*meets an ex-stripper called mama Jason and they get married and raise a baby in prison*

*leaves mama Jason and marries an intelligent blonde scientist that helps him get out of prison*

*mama Jason gets out of prison and raises baby alone while crying kryptonion tears of sadness*

And later Nico tells Jason.

And Jason just cries: "how she know???"

Why does my brain work like this???