☽ ▬▬ inaalala ang araw na kumikinang;
ganoon   ako   tuwing   nakikita   ka,   aking
liwanag sa diliim ▪ i think about you while
remembering the shining sun; that's how i
feel  when  i  see  you;  my  light  in  the  dark

Before going to sleep, Runa tried texting Maria one last time. She picked up her phone and hesitated for a moment, then proceeded to send a casual "Hey M". An error message popped up.

She frowned. Then she remembered she had no load to text anymore. She lay on her back, sighing. Was there any point in trying to get back into contact with her? Was there a possibility that Maria ghosted her?

No, Runa told herself. Don't think like that. She's your best friend.

Would it really be the same when Maria comes back?

She turned to lie on her side and saw her old volleyball jersey peeking out from the closet. That unsettled them. As quietly as they could, they got up and went to close it.

Hmm. They remembered one time they lost badly at a game and got yelled at by a teammate.

"Of course." She rolled her eyes as the other team's name was announced, obviously giving up. She glared at Runa and Runa managed to glare back until her sister pulled her away. Once eye contact was broken, Runa's spirits slowly crumbled.

On the way out of the gym and into the parking lot, her teammate blocked her path.

"It's your fault! We could have just kicked you off the team and won! You kept looking around. You were so distracted! What did you see? What did you see, Venice? God, your stupid name shouldn't even be on your shirt. We worked so hard for this game just to lose!"

"Fine. I'm sorry!"

"I hope I don't see you again at the next practice. We never needed you in the first place." She stormed off with a bitter expression on her face.

Runa started to overthink. Was she really that distracted? Was she enough? Did they really not need her?

Worse thoughts creeped into the back of their mind. The rest of their team passed by as well, all changed into casual clothing. They were whispering. 

Runa sat behind the gym, in the place where no one goes too since it was the only part that still looked like shit after renovation. They sat there and cried, hating how easily their feelings got hurt. Why was her skin so fragile? Easily broken?

"V! Runa, are you okay? I'm so sorry, something went wrong with the sink and water went everywhere and dad couldn't drive so I didn't get to go to your game!"

She looked up and wiped her eyes, fixing herself in front of Maria. "No, it's fine."

"Okay. I'll stay here with you." Maria's worried expression faded a bit.

They sat in silence, until Runa calmed down and more than half the parked cars had left. She heard a sniff beside her. Kalinda was wiping her eyes, but she laughed when she caught them looking at her.

"Ria!" They exclaimed. "What—why are you crying?"

"Because you're crying," She said shakily, still wearing a smile.

"I'm fine now! Why, do you feel like it's your fault or—"

She tucked her dark hair back while grinning shyly. "No, I just cry when you cry."

Runa stared at her. Was that supposed to mean anything?

The closet door clicked shut.

The next day Runa had to go buy some things at the nearest convenience store. On her way home someone called her name.

"Runa! Hey!"

She turned around, plastic bags in hand, to see her best friend, Bailey. Her only friend who stuck, really, if she excluded Maria. 

Bailey's brown hair bounced like springs as he jogged over to them. He was dressed in jeans and a zipped-up cream colored jacket. 

"Hi," Runa replied as he slowed down beside her.

"Anything up? You're not smiling as much. Well, you don't really smile at all, unless you're looking at Maria," he arched his brows at me as if waiting for an answer.

I looked at him then back to the way I was heading. "Yeah, don't rub it in."

"I've rubbed it in for like, 5 years."

"And I've tolerated it. Won't you give me an Oscar for that?"

"Actors...actors get Oscars for acting. Just ask for a medal or something."

"Oh, so you're a smartass."

"I always have been, milady," he drawled. "So what's going on?"

I looked up at him. He was still waiting. "Why do you have to be so tall, Bailey?"

"Don't change the subject, V! What's going on, what's bothering you? I know that look, even though most people wouldn't be able to distinguish it from your usual face—"

"Maria's coming home, on Friday and I don't know what to do."

"For what, a welcoming party? There's plan A1, A2, B5 and J2 that we haven't used yet."

Runa cringed. "We made all of those when we were 10."

"I was joking. So what kind of help do you need?"

"I want to tell...I want to tell her how I feel...yeah."

"You're gonna tell her? Don't you think it's a little too early for that?"

"Is four years not enough, 'Ris?"

"Sorry, V. So...how?"

She frowned, wrapping the loops of the plastic bags around her fingers. "I'll just...tell her."

"How? Specify, please," Bailey said, snapping his fingers. He must have seen my lost expression because he suddenly stepped in front of me, blocking my way. He leaned down and said, "hi, Runa. Venice, V, whatever you prefer. Script. Or anything, because if you have nothing in your mind, no plan, everything might just...explode!" He raised his arms.

I stared at him.

"Figuratively, of course."

"Yeah, but I've never had a crush on anyone except Kalinda!"

"Except for my brother."

"No, his girlfriend."

"I agree, she was pretty."

Bailey perked up again. "Hey, no changing the subject!"

"Fine! Give me a few seconds."

Runa sighed. Obviously they didn't have a plan, at all. But she was too lazy to make one anyway so she just lied. "I'll go to her, hug her and then when she pulls away I'll say 'Ria, I really like you and I missed you so much. I like you as a crush.' there, is that good?"

"You're a bad liar, Runa. You straight people are so problematic." He sighed dramatically, then smirked at her. 

Runa laughed half-heartedly, lightly shoving him. "You're not straight and neither am I, you idiot!"

"I know, I know. Well...I should get home now. We should get home now."

"You should. See you, Bailey."

"Bye, yeah, we can continue the therapy session at my house tomorrow. Bye, V."