Dawn 42

I walk alongside Michelle, trying to separate us out from the boys. Even though it's been hours, she still won't talk to any of this. My head is pounding.

Minho glances at me from across the group. He bites his lips, gesturing over to her. It's at least nice to know that he is concerned about her rather than me. In response, I can only offer a shrug.

He walks over to me, pulling himself up right next to me. I lean my head into his shoulder, and he grabs on to me. The mountain is steep, and dangerous, and practically devoid of shade. Not that it matters in the night time.

He buries his hands in my hair, holding on to me. His hands betray him as they beginning to shake. I can feel myself crumbling into him. Giving in to his arms. I don't want to walk ever again. I hurt everywhere. There are real stars above us, but I don't care anymore. I don't need to search the Earth for meaning anymore. Everything I need is between my arms.

It's easier to give up than to believe.

"You're okay," he manages, kissing my hair. Holding me against him with full force.

Though Fry stops for us, Newt continues marching. I'm thankful that I matter enough to keep someone from leaving, but not enough to take everyone away.

Minho let's go of me first. He wraps an arm around my back, pushing us forward as we continue to dredge up the mountain. It's been hours, and there hasn't been a sign of Group B anywhere. Maybe there won't ever be.

I can't hope to find Leo again. We've been pulled apart too many times.

I feel a wave of nausea washing over me. I slip out of Minho's arms and kneel on the ground. My hands dig into the rocks, cutting them open as I throw up.

He's rubbing my back. Everyone stills around us.

"Should we get Clint to look at her?" Doug offers behind my shoulders.

I continue to throw up, ignoring the chatter around me. All that comes out is drool now, thankfully. I doubt that I've had enough food to actually eat.

Michelle is in front of me, helping me to my feet. She pulls us along, even though I feel like I could throw up. Minho tries to wrestle me out of her hands, but I am too busy to fight either of them.

"When was the last time?" Michelle whispers, trying to pry me out of his hands.

Minho stops fighting, as does Michelle. She stares at me, past her wild red hair. It looks like it hasn't been brushed in weeks, and it's so dirty at the roots that it looks like a different colour. Michelle brushes her curling locks out of her scarred face, stepping closer to me.

"Before we got to the Scorch," she continues, stepping forward. "When was the last time?"

I don't know what she is talking about. So, I don't step anywhere.

"What is she talking about?" Fry asks.

"I don't know." I continue.

Michelle isn't satisfied. She grabs my hands, pulling me closer to her. Minho struggles to rip me out of her grip, and Michelle knocks him aside with her elbow. Doug is quick to grab Michelle, dragging her back, and Fry and Newt are on Minho.

"How long have you known?" Michelle is calm. She fights back against Doug, I assume, because he is grabbing her. "You're pregnant."

My stomach drops. Everyone else breathes. While Doug drops Michelle, Minho stops struggling, I spin around between them, staring at us all.

"Is that true?" Fry demands. "Minho?"

I would answer if I felt like I was at all in control of this. The wave of nausea hits me again, but vomiting won't save me from their questions. Instead of answering, I press the palm of my hand against my head.

"That's why she's been sick," Michelle jumps in, the anger climbing in her throat.

Fry continues to stare at me. When his eyes move to Minho, I worry that Fry is going to jump him. My feet are stuck to the ground beneath me. Something prevents me from speaking. It's the same feeling that clammed me up when Thomas was shot.

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here," I begin, freezing. "Don't talk about him like it's his fault."

"How could you be so careless?" Michelle demands, shouting.

"You shacked Dave and Gally both. You just got lucky, so don't throw this back on me!" I shout.

Michelle steps closer to me. She grabs the collar of my jacket, pulling me down closer to her. I stare her down, waiting for her to hit me. Though Minho steps him, I try my best to swat him away. For once, he listens to me.

I grab her wrists and push them off me. "That's what I thought."

"What are we going to do?" Fry demands.

"The shuck are you talking about?" Minho shouts back. "She doesn't exactly look nine months along, now does she? You, on the other hand, that's another story."

Newt sighs. He takes a step closer to me, ignoring the others. "once we get to the Safe Haven, we'll decide what to do."

"WICKED will take your baby," Brenda steps in. She stares at me, behind her short hair. She crosses her arms over her chest, biting her lip. Jorge leans over to grab her, but she shrugs him off. "They'll experiment on it when you have it."

I am not ready to worry about a baby that is not born yet. I haven't even been aware for nine months, so I can't worry about any of this until then.

"You suggesting we die out in the Scorch?" Minho demands. "Yeah, shuck that. I'm not going to wait here like a shucking Greenie."

Minho stalks out of the crowd, heading further out. He doesn't wait for me, but I didn't expect him too. Both of us know we are in way over our heads.

Fry reaches a hand out to grab me, and I push past him, following Minho further up into the mountains. I don't care if they follow after me. I already feel like klunk enough. I'm dehydrated, and tired, and Leo is gone.

Minho's hands are balled into fists. I finally trudge up the mountain to his spot, grabbing his hand from beside him. I massage his hand in mine. Trying to return the blood to it, since his knuckles are going white. Whenever he breathes in, he holds his breath far too long. I count. Ten seconds. He quickly exhales and breathes in. I count to twelve. He repeats. And repeats. And repeats. Eventually, he takes my hand in his, holding on to me.

"They're right Dawn," he manages. "I don't know what to do."

"We can't worry about that yet," I tell him.

"I didn't want to bring a baby into this world," Minho looks around before his eyes catch mine. "I never wanted that."

Neither of us did. I couldn't have imagined that this would happen. That we would be here, in the Scorch, with a baby on the way. I thought the Maze was a great time. I never realised it not only could, but would, get worse in every possible way. The Scorch isn't even that awful. The worst part about it is that I know whatever lies in the Safe Haven isn't going to be safe.

"Klunk," Minho stops, pulling us back.

My eyes spot her after him.

It's Rose. Her eyes are red, and her hair an uncombed mess. Her clothes are soaked in blood, so much so that they almost appear red. Whatever the material was below it has escaped. Now, her face is blank. She doesn't move when she sees us, much like I expect her too.

"Rose?" Michelle steps closer, moving towards the girl.

I turn around. Since when had she caught up to us? Has she been listening to us the entire time?

Rose flinches when she sees Michelle. She notices us but says nothing. I try to see her eyes in the dark, but even the whites of her eyes seem charcoal. Rose snorts and turns around to head back up the mountain.

Michelle speeds up, moving next to the girl. I wait to hear their whispers, but neither girl says anything. They walk next to each other, in silence. Rose's arm hangs limply at her side. What happened to her?

Jay steps up next to me, staring the girl down. I watch him bite his lip as if she means something to him. As far as I remember, he doesn't exactly care about her. "What the stuck happened to her?"

I shrug my shoulders. Last I heard from Michelle, she ditched Rose in the town. I should give the girl more credit; she made it up here alone. That takes something I can't imagine. At least she doesn't attack Michelle. Seemingly, there is no ill-will between the two.

"Go ask her," I tell him, rolling my eyes.

"It's not that easy," he offers.

Newt grabs Minho, pulling him back. I'm thankful, so now I can tell Jay off without feeling like a slinthead. Not that Jay doesn't deserve it, but I just feel weird talking about Rose's life before the Scorch when I'm not really supposed to know it.

"Well, it was easy enough to sleep with her and Hilde at the same time," I roll my eyes. "Can't be that hard to speak to her now."

One of Jay's eyebrows twitches up. "It wasn't easy."

"That's what they think," I tell him.

"I used to sleep with Rose," he tells me. "It was just for fun, you know? Nothing serious. We stopped. Then, I started sleeping with Hilde. I didn't think it was a big deal. Rose was pissed, but I expected that."

Well, Hilde has definitely been stirring the pot, possibly more than Jay anticipated. It's still his fault. I can't tell Jay how to live his life though. "Shacking around isn't the best plan."

"You're one to talk," he argues. "You are knocked up."

"And you're a slinthead," I scrunch up my nose.

Jay shrugs. A smirk plays on his face, as if he's been called it time and time again. I can tell though, from the way he looks down, that he does mind the name-calling. There is something deep inside him that bothers being called a slinthead.

"I'm selfish too," I admit, glancing back at Minho. "I put a lot of people in danger to be with him."

"I'm stupid too," Jay offers. "I slept with someone without thinking about the consequences."

Jay offers me a faint smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes. This is the first time I've found my first impressions to be less than completely accurate. He's much nicer than he seemed to be. Maybe we aren't so different after all.

"Why didn't you go back?" I ask. "When Lott and Sheil left, I mean."

He shrugs, looking down. "You see how those girls are crazy. I've been trying to avoid Rose too."

That isn't entirely the truth. We both heard that Rose wasn't with them anymore. I wonder if he is okay with them killing Thomas. Nothing else would prevent him from leaving, I imagine. Besides the fact that most of the girls don't like him.

"Don't you miss your friends?" I ask.

I know I did. Though I left Leo, I wanted to find her again. There wasn't any other choice but fleeing if I wanted to live. I couldn't tell you if I would do it again. It's a toss-up.

"I wasn't as close with Lott and Sheil as they were with each other, and I didn't really know Emil," Jay offers. "But yeah. I wish they had stayed. It could be worse though."

I don't see how. Not much could be worse than being alone in the Scorch. Jay must feel alone. He rubs his hands in his hair. Its long black strands hang over his face.

"How could it be worse?" I ask.

He looks up at Rose, his eyes lingering on her. Is it because she is back? I doubt it.

"Aris could've left too," Jay offers, a small smile on his face. "We got along well enough."

I can't imagine Aris really getting along with Jay. They seem so different. Like, Aris wants very little to do with most of us. He is pretty quiet, and aloof, and not very different from Teresa before we entered the Scorch.

"Wait," I stop, looking around. "Where's Aris?"