Leo 33

It's dark out. I'm trudging though, with heavy eyelids, out of the last of the town. If there are any Cranks awake, they don't bother us.

Sheil heads up the group, with Lott trudging far behind us. Lott's eyes are heavy too, and he only glances up at me for a second. With a flick of his wrist, he calls me over to him. I stop walking, letting Beth move up ahead as Sheil catches up to me.

He walks past me, not waiting for me to catch up. I do though.

"Remind Sheil to take his insulin," Lott begins. His voice is hoarse and throaty, and he looks worse than the rest of us. Much worse. I can't tell if his hands are shaking since they are in his pockets. It's not particularly hot out since it is the middle of the night, but he is sweating through his jacket.

"Why don't you?" I ask, trying not to accuse him. The boys have talked since their fight earlier today. I'm beginning to accept that there are many things I'm never going to know. One of them is exactly what happens between the two of them. They tug back and forth as if they are one rope. They are fine, and then suddenly they are not, and I get the feeling it is the secret that Lott asked me to keep.

One that gives him all the symptoms of something Clint taught me to notice. Since they had a boy who would get injured over and over to get access to a specific drug. I doubt that is what Lott's been drinking, but I'd be an idiot if I hadn't picked up on it.

I take it he's run out of it.

"You're a stick," Lott looks down since he obviously isn't impressed with himself either. Not that I blame him either.

"He cares about you," I begin.

Lott shrugs, looking away. "He wants to understand. I want him to understand that he shouldn't want to understand. Just go remind him, before he keels over, or some other klunk."

I nod, jogging up to Sheil. He looks at me from next door.

"Hey, Anchor," he smiles at me. "You're still sure I can't call you Annie?"

"Perfectly," I almost laugh. That name feels so wrong on me. I am Leo, through and through, even if it isn't the name my parents gave me. I don't have to like WICKED to acknowledge I am who I am with the people I am with because of them. Even though they've put us through so much klunk, they gave me all my friends.

"Well, anyway Annie," Sheil offers. "What do you want?"

I bump into him playfully. "I want you to take your insulin."

"Right," he remembers. He stops, and the rest of the group follows suit. He pulls out the needle, and the insulin, and injects himself in the stomach as if he's done this a thousand times before.

"So, I've been thinking," he continues. "You and I are probably connected. The Anchor and the Mangrove, probably, right? They are both things in water, I guess."

"Wouldn't the Elastic and the Anchor work better?" I ask. "They hold things together."

He glances over to Lott. They both lock eyes, for at least a minute, before Sheil turns away. He shakes his head back and forth, stalking further off. I follow after him.

Sheil doesn't speak. He stares forward, out into the desert. As if he is expecting to see something.

"You're wrong," he manages, after a minute or two in silence. "You are nothing like him. We are alike."

"Lott and Leo," I offer, trying to remind him of what he told me just a few days ago.

"Nothing," Sheil repeats. He turns away, rubbing a hand across his cropped, dark black hair. Tonight, he is all shadows. Normally, Sheil has a way of warming the sky. His skin is bright and comforting, and he is always calm. He beams.

He's lost all the shine now though. As if a light has been turned off inside him, his skin seems almost hollow. Similar to Ella's. Sadder too. Whatever is going on between him and Lott needs to be resolved soon enough. I don't know that I want to go on with the two of them hurt, and Beth wedged in the middle.

"Sheil, Lott's sick," I manage, stepping closer to the boy. "Don't be mad at him."

"I'm not," Sheil argues, his voice lowering in pitch but not in volume. "Why would I be mad?"

"It's not his fault," I offer, looking over at Sheil. "We used to treat people for what he has. Weening them off. Lott didn't get that option, so he's going to be saying and doing things that he doesn't mean."

"How do you know he doesn't mean any of it?" Sheil demands, glaring at me. "I'm not angry at him for needing help if that's what you are suggesting. He's had a problem since Eli died. He thinks I'm an idiot, who couldn't tell. He thinks I'm some air-head, some stupid boy, some plaything."

"Sheil," I try to calm him down, but his voice is rising. He stops moving, turning to stare at Lott.

"Do I mean nothing to you?" He demands, raking his hands through the little hair he has.

"I don't know what you are talking about," Lott crosses his arms over his chest.

Beth moves out from between them. She grabs on to me, dragging me away from the pair of them. Forcing me to watch at a distance.

"Oh, shove it," Sheil shouts, staring at him. "You're not Jay. Don't act like it."

Lott's shoulders tense. He shoves past Sheil, stalking off further into the desert. Sheil's shoulders rise and fall as he tries to contain his anger. I step forward, but Beth grabs me. She shakes her head back and forth.

That's fair. If Sheil wanted to start a fight, he could snap me in half. He towers over me.

Sheil stalks off after Lott. Beth gestures for us to join in and follow after the two of them. It's odd, since I don't like to be in the middle of conflict, but I stick myself next to her in the middle of the pack. The only thing we can do is move forward at this rate. In the morning, we will bake in the sun, since we only have two blankets to share between the four of us. If not, we will probably die of dehydration the day after that.

My head is already pounding. I am dizzy, and I have a fever breaking. Maybe I won't make it to tomorrow night. I'm heading into severe dehydration, even though it's only been maybe two days without water. The heat is causing me to sweat substantially, even at night. The fever isn't helping either.

"See," Beth whispers, gesturing to the boys who are muttering but walking together. "We need to just stay out of it for now."

I don't want to, but I will. We continue to walk in silence. The dark is all-encompassing. I can't bear to miss anyone else anymore, and it feels like all the people with me are gone. At some point, Lott and Sheil stop talking, and our group intermingles again. Eventually, the dark gives way to light. The sun begins to rise, peaking out into the sky. The dawn is beautiful.

I trudge with my head down, until some grabs my arm, pulling me back. I am about to walk into the back of Sheil. Beth lets go of me as Lott bumps into me from behind.

"Do you see that?" Sheil asks.

I round in front of him to get a better look further forward. There is a group up ahead, faintly on the horizon, but unmistakable.

"It's people," I begin, staring out at them.

"Who would be out in the Scorch?" Sheil asks, staring off.

"Group B," Lott offers.

"Cranks," Beth counters.

"Group A?" I suggest, my hopes high.

"WICKED," Sheil closes out. "Those are all the groups that exist, anyway."

I remember that outside of us, there are only Cranks. WICKED is healthy, and the rest of the world is dying. Which makes sticking together all the more important for us.

"They are moving away from town," I offer.

"Doubt that would be Cranks." Beth counters, staring out.

"You don't know that," Lott argues, his voice low and gruff. "You only just got here. For all we know, it's WICKED, and you are walking us into a trap."

Beth stops, turning to stare at Lott. Her face contorts, her cheeks going red. "I didn't want to do what I did, you know? Rachel was in my head, and WICKED was doing things to the rest of me."

"You still did it," Lott doesn't bother looking at her. He continues to stare out at the sand. "You could do it again."

Beth reaches to jump at him, and Sheil grabs her. He picks her up throwing her over his shoulder, as she tries to charge Lott. She is weaponless, but neither of the boys are. They'd kill her if she posed a threat, maybe. I don't think Sheil could kill anyone, but he just scooped up Beth like it was no problem. He's probably just too tired to deal with the fighting. I'm too tired to try to stop it. I've given up.

If Gally were here, I wonder if I would hate him for attacking Michelle and Thomas. It was obviously not him. I didn't live in their Glade though. I don't know all of the stories. Everything's fragmented right now. I wonder if Ella and Michelle are still together, or if we are truly all wandering the desert alone.

I know they are all alive. I can feel it in my heart. I can't just stop moving. We need to stick together.

"Stop it," I look at Beth. She looks at me, though she still tries to pull herself off of Sheil. The boys stare at me.

"Would all of you quit it!" I demand, my voice rising. "Can you not tell that we are all trapped alone in the desert? We need to go to those people, Cranks or WICKED or whatever, or we will die. We are out of food. We are out of water. This is the shucking Scorch. Act like it."

Beth stops fighting, so Sheil drops her. She stumbles on the ground but maintains her footing.

"Whatever stupid klunk has happened in the past doesn't matter anymore," I begin, looking around the group. "Believe me. Some of the boys in my group have tried to get us banished, or pulled knives on us, or what the shuck ever. None of that matters anymore. We've still got shucking miles to go. Good that?"

I look around, waiting for them to nod. Beth doesn't look at me, while Sheil pours his into mine, and Lott stares blankly forward.

"Good that?" I demand once more.

"Yeah," Sheil offers.

Lott offers a nod, all though it seems to be just a general movement. Beth quickly nods her head up and down, brushing the hair off her shoulder.

"Let's go get those shanks then," I say, turning on my heels and moving towards them.