Ella 8

We are lying next to each other, on a bed with sheets too course for her delicate skin. It has been many years since I arrived, but only a few since we started sharing this room together. We've only lied like this recently, for far too short. It is our last night.

The room is cold, white, and sterile. I hate it here. It reminds me of the room I'd been in for years. Where they made me Emily. I don't know when they are sending me up, and I hate it. Perhaps, they won't send me up.

I got my wish though. I am a member of Group B. Someday soon, I will see her again.

"You're lucky you can see the boys at all," she looks sick. I guess it's the nerves that rack her body. Her hair is soft and warm though, and it is so long I can twirl it in my fingers without her even noticing. I wish she would notice though.

Instead she bites her lip. Due to the cold, it's tinged blue. Almost a violet.

I am not lucky to see him. "You don't know what he is like. What they are like. They torture me, you know. Both me and Eli."

"Yeah, but you see other boys too, don't you?" She asks. "Don't they want to send you up with their group?"

I hope not. Every night, I pray that I will escape them.

"They gave up on that. They still haven't made me forget my name," I tell her. "Just when I think they're done, they bring me in again for another week of testing. I have epilepsy now. I don't give a damn if they let me so Thomas every other week."

"Oh, please Em..."

"Don't call me that," I tell her flatly, sighing. I hate that for the first few years, they made this feel like a game of pretend. I could be Emily if they wanted me to be, but on my own I got to be me. I still know Emily's not my name, even if the one my mother gave me is slipping from my grasp. I won't be called Emily. I'd rather have a different name.

She brings her knees up into her chest, her hair sprawled along the bed behind her. She seems so small and lonely. I hate seeing her like this. I hate wanting her.

"They are taking us tomorrow," her voice cracks and creaks.

I don't think she realises she is saying goodbye to me as well. I am not going with her. They aren't done with me yet. They won't be for a long time.

"We will meet again, on the other side you know." I tell her, letting her think I am going with her. I don't want to disappoint her. She already has been damaged enough by this mess. Maybe my lies do more harm than good.

She nods, looking down. It was always her who was calm and caring, you know? Never me. This proves difficult, since I've already pretty much forgotten how to stop a girl from crying, or at a very minimum, how to speak.

"Yeah, but I won't..." she trails off, breathing in. "It's hard, you know? I didn't choose any of this, and you didn't either. It feels like the whole world is trying to stop us from being together."

There is no whole world. Only death and decay, and a land ravaged by disease and catastrophe. Maybe what is left of the world is ripping us apart, but I won't let it.

"Promise me you'll find me again?" She is careful with her words, painting them down against the ground.

I would come back for her in a million lifetimes. She reaches for my hand, and I take it firmly within my grasp.

"I would find you, in any life," I tell her, staring at her violet lips. She is Violet. "In any universe, under any circumstance. There is nothing that could hold me back from you."

I bolt upright, panting. There is a room that I am in. One I do not recognize. It is dark, and there are bodies littering the floor.

I'm on my feet, backing away. My body slams into the wall behind me. The force rattles my spine, but I do not care. Where am I? What's happened?

I don't remember anything after that moment with her. We were lying together, and now I am here.

I close my eyes, as my head pounds. I dig my fists into my skull, pounding against it. Where was I?

I got stung by a Griever, because I needed to know. Now, I know bits and pieces. Fractions of segments. I arrived. Emily and Eli. They tortured me. I met the Violet girl, and they wanted me to be Teresa, but they couldn't torture it into me.

But I still don't understand how the four of us got here. Why we are with the boys. It doesn't make sense. It's not revenge for the torture. As far as I can remember anyway. I just wanted the Violet girl. So, why did I leave?

"She's awake?"

I don't recognize that voice, and it terrifies me. Honestly, I couldn't tell half the Gladers apart, since my mind has been so foggy. This is different though. This is a woman. This is not one of the three I know.

What world did I wake up to?

"Someone wake up Leo," it's another voice I don't recognize.

"Where am I?" I demand, looking around the dark room. "What's going on?"

A match is struck against the darkness. Then, a candle, within a lantern, and I can see the outline of a girl. She has long, black dreadlocks, and dark skin. I try to scan her face, to see if I can recognize it, but I can feel panic rising in my shoulders. Where am I?

"Ella?" She asks like she isn't sure.

The darkness around her is overwhelming.

Leo moves in next to her, the light bouncing off her face. Then, she approaches me.

"Are you alright?" She tries to grab a hold of me, but I rip myself out of her grip.

"What the Hell is going on?" I demand. "Where am I?"

"What do you remember?" The black girl asks.

I look her up and down, my eyes widening with every glance, before turning to Leo. She doesn't look any different than the last time I saw her, but she seems to trust this girl,

"Who are you?" I demand. "Are you with WICKED?"

She shakes her head.

Leo turns to me, looking around the room. "Ellie, what do you remember?"

"Stop calling me that!" I shout, turning around to face the brick wall behind me. As I look around, my heart only continues to rise in my throat.

"I need you to concentrate," she grabs my shoulders, and I spin around.

A few flashlights flick on around us. As I look around though, I get no clarity. I can't even see Dawn or Michelle, but with all the lights flashing against my skin, only the girl with dreadlocks face is illuminated.

"We... we were..." in the Maze, and I purposefully got stung, even though I didn't figure it out. I can feel bile rising in my throat. I didn't figure it out, and I went through all of that. I don't understand. How could this happen? "We are out of the Maze?"

"Out of the frypan, into the inferno," someone calls out, another voice I don't recognize.

"Yeah," that little mutter was Michelle.

Alby is dead. I don't know why I was expecting him next, but I remember that. He was our leader. He should be here. Zart is dead too, which means most of the people I know, with the exception of the Med-jacks.

"We made it out," Leo lets me in. "You should sit down."

I shake my head. "Where the Hell am I Leo? Would you just tell me?"

"Someone's changed," Dawn's sarcasm reaches me. So, she is alive too. No sign of any boys though.

"Are we with WICKED?" I ask. "Do they have us at their headquarters?"

"I wish," it's the first voice again. Fuck, I've got no idea what's happening. I hate this. I hate this. Someone needs to tell me what is going on, right now, before I lose it. And trust me, I will lose it. 100% guarantee.

"We were rescued by a rebel group," Leo tells me.

"That's WICKED," I tell them. "No way anyone would best them. They are way too powerful."

"We figured that out," the girl with dreadlocks tells me.

"They separated us from the boys," Leo tells us.

"We're with Group B." I say out loud, looking around. That's why we are surrounded by girls. I don't know the Violet girl's name to call it out. "Where's Eli?"

There is stirring in the crowd, before the girl with dreadlocks chimes in. "Who?"

"Eli," I continue, my voice rising. My hands are shaking. "Or, his name is something like Emily, but it isn't Emily. Short brown hair, lanky. My age, probably fifteen, or something."

"Emil," the girl enunciates. "You're looking for Emil?"

Among other things, but I don't remember the Violet girl's name. And the description of pale girl with honey colour hair is not particularly helpful when that describes half the people here.

"He died," she offers.

Eli is dead? He can't be. We were together recently. He couldn't be dead. He can't be dead. We were partners. I stumble backwards, but Leo keeps me upright.

"What do you mean?" I ask, looking around.

"What do you remember?" Another voice asks. I recognize this one. It's Dawn again. Or not Dawn. I can't tell. My head is pounding.

"I remember Eli, and I remember WICKED." I continue, looking around. "I remember what they did. What do you mean he is dead? He isn't dead. I just saw him two months ago. He was talking to Thomas. He, he can't be."

"He died a week or two after Rachel showed up." The voice continues. She steps closer to the dreadlock girl, into the light and I immediately recognize her.

She is the Violet girl. Her honey hair is golden in the light. Her lips are pale, but as purple as they were last time I saw her. She's grown taller now, and older obviously. Much less of a girl now than she was before, and more of a Violet young lady. Her eyes are just as soft as I remember though, after all this time. My heart stops beating in my chest.

I don't know what to say. I doubt she even remembers me, Changing or not. Most of what I remember is about the inside world, not the outside. For everyone else except Thomas, it has been vice versa.

"Who are you?" I ask.

She smiles faintly, "I'm Sonya."

Sonya. I pause, breathing it in and out. She's the Violet Girl. She's here in front of me. She cocks a head to the side and furrows her brow. She's confused.

She doesn't remember.

"You knew Eli?" I ask, looking around. "Or Emil, or whatever his other fake name is."

She nods, closing her lips against each other. She looks down at the ground, averting her gaze from mine. "Yeah, I knew him."