Connor never should have come to this party.

~~~
________________________
^67% LEVEL OF STRESS

{Stress level nearing critical}

Connor dismisses the notification and continues leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, watching the others dance and enjoy themselves.

It's fairly loud, something Connor expected when he came here.  It shouldn't be an issue.  He's been in situations like this before.  And yet something about it makes his thrirum pump in his chest squeeze uncomfortably.  He tries lowering his audio processor sensitivity, to no use.  It's still to loud for his liking and his stress level does not lower.

Ideally, he'd be at home right now, with Hank and Sumo.  Hank would complain about something on the TV, but continue watching it.  He'd have Sumo on his lap to pet and it'd be nice.

But Markus really wanted him to come.  And Hank had said he should.  Making friends and all that stuff.  Said he didn't have enough friends.

They are nice, for the most part, but Connor doesn't feel like he should be there.  He doesn't think he wants to be there.

There's so many people there.  His chest feels icky and he's overly aware of his breathing, something that is strange since he doesn't need to breathe to live.  It's quite frankly a bit overwhelming.

He swallows down the feeling that he wants to cry and does his best shopping his expression, making sure his LED stays a vibrant blue.

He wants to go home.  There's nowhere else he wants to be right now, but he Markus really wanted him to come.  So he sucks it up, intending on standing at that place the whole evening until he bad to go home again.

Simon had walked by and waves at himat some point.  He'd waved back of course, offering the other android a smile.

Things had gone pretty well so far.  No one has really bothered him so he'd been able to keep to himself, resorting to just watch the others.  But then Markus and North came over to him and asked if he wanted to come dance with them.

"C'mon, it'll be fun, Connor."

"No thank you, Markus.  I'm good," Connor replies, doing his very best to maintain his friendly smile.

"You've been standing her all night," North states, rolling her eyes with a faint smile on her lips.

"C'mon, Connor!" Markus says, grabbing the sleeve of Connor's hoodie trying to drag him with them.

Connor stops them abruptly, startling the other two androids.  "N-no!" He exclaims, pulling back his arms a bit harsher than he initially intended.

"Connor?" Markus asks.  They both look taken aback by his little outburst, but it doesn't seem like the others noticed.  "Are you okay?"

Connor's LED flares red in panic.  He quickly looks towards the closest exit and bolts for it, focused on just getting out of there.

One he's outside he slumps against the wall, gliding down until he's sitting on the sidewalk.  He clamps his hand over his mouth in a futile attempt to muffle the sob that escapes his lips.

It doesn't take long for Markus to follow him outside.  He crouches down next to him, putting a tentative hand on his shoulder and looking at him with those sympathetic eyes he's so good at.

"Connor..." He starts.

Connor spares a glance at him through the heavy stream of tears rollong down his cheeks.  They glisten in the moon and street lights.  Markus gives hus shoulder a comforting squeeze.

"What happened in there?" He asks.  "You really freaked out.  If you didn't want to come you should've just said so."

Connor shakes his head, removing his hand from covering his mouth to clutching at the fabric of his hoodie.

"I don't-- I-- I'm sorry, Markus."

Markus smiles warmly at him, sitting down on the sidewalk next to him.  "North was pretty worried about you." He says.

A car passes by.  "Do you want me to call Hank?" He asks.

Connor tries whiping his tear stained cheeks with the sleeves of his hoodie and nods.  His LED fades from stark red to a bright yellow.  He watches from the corner of his optical units as Markus speaks with the lieutenant.  Once he's finished and said goodbye he turns back to Connor.

"He'll be here in a few minutes," He Informs him. 

Connor smiles thankfully before looking down at the ground.  "I didn't mean to make you worry," He says.

Markus sighs.  "Of course we worry, Connor.  You're our friend.  Whether you believe it or not," He says.  "I know you feel out of place sometimes, like you don't belong here and you feel guilty about what CyberLife made you do..." Markus trails off.  "I'd be here all night if I was going to say everything.  Point is; I know a lot of things about you and I don't want you to feel that way and I wish I could help you."

Connor looks down at his hands where he's fiddeling with his coin.  He runs his thumb over one side of it, beforeturning it over and doing the same on the other side.

"Y'know Connor, you're always welcome here," Markus says.  "If you need help we'll listen."

Connor glances at the other android and smiles lightly.  "Thank you, Markus."

Markus chuckles.

"You're lucky to have eachother," Markus says.  "You and Hank.  I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have Carl and having the lieutenant seems to be helpful for you."

Connor smiles.  "Yeah," He mumbles.  "I'm glad I met him."

"Speaking of Hank, here he is!" Markus says as a familiar car parks right by them.

Hank steps out of the car and crouches in front of Connor.  Connor watches him intently.  "Markus here told me you wanted to go home," He says as he runs his hand through Connor's hair.

Connor nods, choking back a sob suddenly unable to keep his emotions at bay anymore.  Hank pulls him towards him into an embrace.  Connor doesn't hesitate with wrapping his arms around the older man.  Hank strokes his back soothingly, cradling the back of his head.

"If you didn't want to go you should've just said it," He says.

Connor doesn't answer, still busy soaking Hank's shirt with his tears.  He does calm down soon enough though.  It's not long before they're both in the car, Markus wishing them goodbye and an invitation to come back soon, when there isn't a party going on.

"Let's get home, shall we?"

28/05/2019 about 1000 words (a long boi)

Today on Maren projects her feelings onto fictional characters...

Feels good to finally finish one of those things that's been sitting in my drafts for months

Recently got back into Miraculous after an accidental break and fuck I love my dumbass cat son so much.  He deserves the world and more.

I'm also almost done with exams and that feels great even though I'm pretty nervous about going to a new school next year.  A lot og my classmates will be there so it should be fine though.