"Hey, Dean," I greeted as I carefully wiped a stray glob of nail polish from my pinky's cuticle. It was my first time painting my own nails and it had been far from graceful. I was sitting criss-cross on the leather futon, nibbling at the corner of my lip with concentration and annoyance. This was my third try on that finger.

So much harder than I thought...

"June! How are you holding up?" His voice was kind, as per always and my frustration softened.

"Been better. I'm officially flat broke and mooching, but I have a pet sitting gig this weekend. Apart from that, I'm a leach onto Sam. I don't know where to start, to be honest," I admitted, embarrassed. I slid the gooey brush back into the black vial before fanning my outstretched fingers in the warm air.

"Well, like it or not, I just sent you some money on zelle to get started with. It's not much, but it's what I can afford; that and pawning the ring should be enough for a few months of rent while you figure it out. I was only able to get so much out before they closed my accounts." My phone dinged and I groaned, removing it from my shoulder.

"You really don't have to..." I trailed off in disbelief. "I have to send it back!"

If this 'isn't much' then what is?

"Too late. Already blocked you," he mocked, but I could hear a smile in his thick voice.

"Dean!" I whined.

"Anyways, any word from Donna or Mark?" He changed the subject abruptly and I huffed. 

"No - not since that first text. I'm assuming that they're just enjoying their vacation and have already accepted that they'll never talk to me again. The silent treatment is as good a punishment as any, I suppose. How are things on your end?" I asked before blowing on my nails through an o-shaped mouth. Alex crunched on a leaf, watching me from the wooden perch of his enclosure. I waved.

"Mom is devastated. She keeps sending me bible verses and offering to send me to conversion therapy." His voice was unsteady and suddenly stiff. My heart lurched.

"Dean..."

A dark chuckle echoed through the line. "It's fine... I expected it... I just wish that she was a shittier person outside of this, ya'know? Like we've always had such a great relationship. She just... she doesn't want to know me that well, I guess. That or she liked it better when she didn't. Dad at least has the decency to be an ass all of the time; disappointment isn't conditional for him. He's left me alone, mainly. I still can't believe that it was Pearl to blow our cover, though, especially when we were so close to ending the arrangement ourselves. Shit luck, huh?"

"Yeah, something like that." My fingernails were rapidly drying and I impatiently tapped the outward shell of polish with the pad of my pointer finger. It squished.

Whatever. I'm not fixing it.

We exchanged pleasantries and kind words before ending the call. I needed to finish getting ready before Nate picked me up tonight; I had only three hours.

One 'everything' shower, two failed eyeliner attempts, and three outfits (and hours) later, Sam was home and hyping me up as I waited. "It'll be fine! If he's trusting you to watch Snowman, then you're walking into a friendly atmosphere. He loves that cat; it's one of the few things he talks about at work - usually with clients but still!"

I poked and prodded at my flesh in the mirror; my designer jeans only got tighter as days in Dolphin Coast turned into weeks. A big white t-shirt hid my muffin top from sight and I smoothed its front with both hands.

I'm gaining so much weight...

A light knock at the door made me jump.

"I'll get it," Sam giggled, exiting the bathroom with a skip and a jump. Mallets struck the drum head of my chest, pounding my interior and drowning out sound. To regain hearing, I took a deep breath. It worked a little.

The front door creaked open and I peeked my head around the cracked doorframe to catch a glimpse. I was an unreformed adrenaline junkie, seeking my fix: seeking that sharp inhale of the  lung and the way that my face warmed. Alive, at least.

It worked and I drank him in through my pupils, relieved that he hadn't spotted me yet.

He must've just showered...

Dark curls, tracked with comb teeth, hung down to mid-neck and he gave Sam a little smile. It was too cute. A red t-shirt hung over khaki shorts and Converse hugged his great, big feet. I wondered what he smelled like.

Okay, I have a problem.

I ducked my head back in before taking a deep breath and exiting the small bathroom.

"Hey, Nate," I said nonchalantly, tossing my hair over my shoulder, and I honestly impressed myself.

I sound so chill right now!

"Hey there," he said and it almost looked like he was... scared? The whites of his big brown eyes were on full display and his Adam's Apple bobbed hard. It threw me off.

Sam looked back and forth between us through the momentary silence, grinning cheekily with her thin arms crossed against her chest. I barely noticed, though.

"So, uh." Nate paused to clear his throat. "You ready?" 

I nodded, but my cheeks and the backs of my eyes burned with discomfort. The air in the room was thick with tension.

As I followed a silent Nate out the front door, I looked back for a reassuring glance at Sam. She stood there, grinning ear to ear with two thumbs up as she shook with jittery excitement in her work clothes. I cocked my head in confusion.

What's her deal?

Until we pulled into the parking lot of Nate's apartment complex, talk remained minimal and small. As we got closer and closer I was reminded that Moose lived there too. I regretted, for a moment, taking the job, but considering that it was the first one that I'd ever had, it seemed important to stick it out. A mental note was made to stay inside whenever possible.

Shouldn't be hard... I don't have a car, so.

My head swung like a pendulum as we crossed the sandy parking lot, checking for familiar faces. Sam and I agreed that we needed to talk to Benji about what happened, but we hadn't gotten around to it and likely wouldn't until after this weekend. I'd be at Nate's from Saturday morning until Sunday evening, and it was Friday. Until then, Sam felt that it was best that she keep her distance.

I let out a deep breath when we crossed the threshold. It smelled like detergent and freshly baked cookies and I was feeling very out of place in his home.

"So, uh. Here it is: nothing too crazy..." Nate trailed off as he reached up and rubbed the back of his neck with a thick palm.

For a bachelor pad, it was incredibly well maintained, although distinctively still a bachelor pad. The cat-scratched black leather couch, minimal decorations and the gaming PC in the corner gave him away. The desk was in lieu of a dining table and I smiled. "It's cute."

He hummed, shoving his hands in his pockets before falling into the next fifteen minutes of detailed medication schedules, feeding times and a litterbox demonstration.  I saw no signs of a cat.

"Okay, well. Any questions? I'll also leave a written set of instructions; Luckily he takes his meds without any fuss. Just set them on his wet food in the mornings and he should just eat them. I won't have service, but I'm leaving our vet's personal number and he said you can call him if you have any questions or concerns. He'll be in town all weekend." My head nodded in response to Nate's words, but I was feeling a touch overwhelmed. I'd never owned or cared for a cat before.

"I don't think so," I chirped with as much confidence as I could muster.

"Cool. Follow me. He's upstairs, where you'll be sleeping... unless you'd rather the couch..." Nate started awkwardly as he began his ascent up the carpeted stairs, steep and hand-railed. A dim light flickered overhead.

He wants me to sleep in his bed?

"Oh, um. Either way is fine." I peeped.

"I'll have fresh sheets ready."

Life was a little too uncanny valley today, because I couldn't seem to make sense of how I'd gotten here, preparing to sleep in Nate's bed and hang out with his cat all weekend. In the intimacy of his home, I was surprised that he trusted me with something like that, but I reminded myself of the security camera that I'd spotted under the TV downstairs. There would be surveillance.

At the top of the stairs was a scuffed white door, and Nate flung it open with a stiff arm.

"Ta-da!" He joked and I almost broke my neck looking at him, shocked, before turning my attention to his bedroom: Nate's bedroom. I was in Nate's bedroom.

Black-out curtains were tied into scrunches at either side of his second-story window, overlooking the shared backyard space. A tan and white quilt hugged a made bed, pillows fluffed and white. They were so white that I almost didn't notice the little long-haired cat, his brilliantly blue eyes standing out over the simple pillowcase. He blinked at me slowly. 

"Is he friendly?" I asked as I turned back to face Nate. He was already looking at me and a strange expression danced across his eyebrows and mouth.

"Mm-hm. He's called Snowman." The cat's name fell gently from his lips and I barely recognized his softened tone. It made my cheeks burn.

My light footsteps were thunderous in the otherwise silent room, and I approached with an upturned hand. I, too, spoke softly. "Hey there, little guy." The starch-white cat stood with a stretch and a yawn before rubbing himself against my outstretched hand. His coat was silky against my fingertips.

Nate cleared his throat. "He's deaf, by the way and, um, I think he likes you."

That earned a giggle from me, purely because of the absurdity of the moment. He was being so... pleasant. "I think I like him too."

"Do you, um, have a few minutes to talk before I take you back?" Nate asked and my eyes jerked to meet his nervous ones. Fight or flight kicked in, but I chose to wait it out. I was dying to know what this was about so I nodded.

He gestured to his bed and we both took a seat, several feet apart and not looking at each other. Instead, we watched Snowman repeatedly ram his head into my hand, purring. Nate cleared his throat before beginning.

"I just wanted to say that I feel awful for... leaving you out there on the beach like that. That was... definitely not the right way to handle it and I'm... I'm sorry, June." His words struck me hard in the chest and I bit down on my lip so as not to cry. The embarrassment of that moment still had an effect, apparently.

"Why did you?" I asked in a moment of bravery. Snowman stopped headbutting and crawled into my lap. I melted.

"I... I thought that you were cheating and I panicked. I also, well, I don't really date and it's been a long time since I've hooked up and I was high and way out of my element." Nate's honestly was refreshing, but I was confused.

"What changed? You said that you thought that I was cheating. What changed your mind?" My eyes finally found his face and I scanned for information. He swallowed hard.

"Gut feeling. Am I right?" His eyes found mine and I inhaled sharply, accidentally and embarrassed before looking away. Being around him was humiliating. I felt like a school girl with her first crush and I couldn't seem to act like a normal person around him. This crush was too real, too physical.

"You are. I'm single and it's a long story, but even then I wasn't trespassing on anything or anyone," I admitted. It felt weird that if I wanted to, I could tell Nate everything, but I chose to keep the details close to my chest. I didn't want for him to think the worst of me.

He didn't date and by this point I was realizing that it didn't seem like a good idea to be 'just casual' with him. It would put me in too vulnerable in a position and I had too much on my to-do list for him to be added in any capacity. Vacation was over, so I did what I had to.

"Maybe now we can be friends?" My voice came out higher than I'd intended.

He cleared his throat.

"Cool with me."