this is bella ^

later that night

i fell into the show, not even realizing i hadn't started any of the homework i was assigned, and had watched a total of seven episodes of shameless! i mean time well spent if you asked me.

i grabbed my backpack, pulling it onto my bed, realizing i hadn't really gone on my phone since i got home.

i pulled out one of my notebooks and got to writing for my english introduction paper, i had to write about a strange summer experience i had, whether it was this past summer or others.

and i couldn't even think of one thing, this past summer wasn't that eventful for me, just hanging out with bella here and there, along with my cousins.

my cousins and i are actual friends, it wasn't like were just doing it because we were family, we are genuinely close.

i decided i was going to try to get inspiration from my snapchat memories, accidentally stumbling on my friends stories. i tapped through bella's, it was just her at practice, and by accident i tapped onto ethan's.

it was a picture of the right half of his face, his jawline sharper than i remembered it being, the caption on it read, "anyone up?" i tapped out of his story and checked the time, holy shit it was already one am? i had to finish my homework right now.

i turned my phone off and started it.

one hour later

i had finally finished everything, but i wasn't tired. i tried turning off the light and my tv, but i just couldn't sleep.

i turned on my phone to reveal a snapchat from ethan he sent an an hour ago, when i had turned off my phone.

i unlocked my phone, opening the snapchat, "i saw you view my story lmao, what's up?" it read, but the background was a black screen.

soon after came another one, one he had just sent. was he just casually waiting for me to open it? doesn't he have other girls to attend to?

it was another black screen that read, "yo what's up with you?" what does that even mean? was he just illiterate or is he asking if i had a problem with him?

i pressed my phone up against my bed, making it a black screen, "nothing, i gotta go to bed. gn." i sent it to him and he answered it as fast as he could, quickly responding with a picture of his face, "goodnight." i left him on open, since there wasn't much to say after that?

i rested my phone on the table besides my bed, falling into sleep.

the next day

i walked to my locker, expecting him to be there already since i was running late to school, maybe he just already got to his locker.

why was i thinking about him?

after getting everything and putting things into my locker, i walked down the hall to my homeroom, sitting down in the back where i knew no one else was going to invite themselves to sit next to me.

that's the first time i would see him today, out in the hall, but i soon realized he was in fact walking into the classroom, did he switch home rooms or something? i could not remember him being here.

he looked around for a place to sit, winking at a couple of girls while he walked down a row of desks, getting closer to the back row where i had been sitting. then he gave me probably the cockiest smirk i had ever received, but then his eyes landed on my wrists.

i forgot about the scars, it had been quite a bit since it all happened, i haven't worn a short sleeve shirt until today, wanting to completely forget about the mistake i made. and now he knew.

his eyes widened, but then kind of retracted his neck back and looked down at his desk weirdly, confused, not at me, but at himself.

he shook his head as if he was trying to snap himself out of something, looking back to me, "you cut?" he asked, sounding sincere but there was just something off about it, i couldn't put my finger on it.

i moved my arm to cover the other, my lips opening like i was going to say something but i couldn't make any words out, none. it was weird, he intimidated me.

"why?" he asked, actually sounding genuinely confused on why i would do
something like that, but ethan is not my therapist, or my bestfriend, therefore he will know absolutely nothing!

"it is none of your business." i replied softly, looking towards the front of the classroom to the teacher who was now talking, he gave up and did the same.

after school

i decided to skip my locker, i didn't want to see him after that.. it was just too awkward for even me.

i knew he wasn't ever gonna look at me the same, no one would. it isn't an easy thing to deal with, and i completely get it.

i shifted in my bed, a knock on my door came, soon after a doorknob moving, signaling someone was coming in. without my consent!

it was ethan? how did he get inside? my brother is going to use this against me for the rest of my life.

"hey." he spoke, walking into my room nonchalantly, sitting down next to me on my bed, what the hell was he doing here?

"um not to be rude but, what the fuck?" i asked, his arm swinging around my shoulder.

i'm confused.

i smacked him his arm off of me and stood up from my bed, earning a laugh from him. the way he laughed, the way his cheeks got red, just made something flutter inside of me.

butterflies?

it got dead silent, "nice room." he complimented, looking around. was he being sarcastic? i couldn't read him, his emotions.

"what're you doing here?"

"wanted to see you, you weren't at your locker. i was worried." was he being serious? we've barley talked, there's no reason he should be worried about me.

ethan smiled, knowing i didn't know what to say.

the smile, i knew it. i recognized it, it was the same smile that i had a weird feeling about yesterday.

it was like the devil was smiling at me.

—

we meet grayson in the next chapter