Andromeda_Starfinder

PLAYING catch up!!

So here we are doing another Review for another author...well actually I've done her before....woot!

LE'GOOO MY EGO!!

Chapter One *Clears throat*

Clear and concise ass kicking, I enjoyed the action bit in the beginning, and boyah! And the suns and moons are neato for a page break.

Oh thank god! She's adopted, so that the reason she isn't white phew...I was waiting to have to cringe from her being "different" for no reason!

I think the mom and father needs to have come to a silent truce or something. Because as they are a married couple it doesn't seem realistic for the dad to show out his distaste for Yasmine so blatantly...For instance:

EX: I walked downstairs after having dealt with Tami, only to nearly run into my father, or more so (I don't think you've given his name) Major Ross. He gave me a cool once over, searching for anything that could be critic luckily he found nothing. With a short nod he continued up the stairs, I continued down. Arriving at the landing I saw my mom staring into space at the dining room table, her expression troubled. They had argued again. They always did, and it always, almost always was about me. Worried, I walked over to her.

"Mom?"

She jerked her head up, her eyes widening before they squeezed together in happiness. "Yasmine," She said walking over to me, "I'm so proud of you."

I smiled, "Is that what all the foods about?" I asked motioning to the mountain of pancakes, and eggs on the table.

She frowned, "Your father complained about it," Her eyes flashed, "but I'm not letting you go on your first day without allowing you to have a good meal." A defiant tone entered her voice, I truly loved my mother, but I knew what my true purpose was in the family...and that was to be fathers weapon.

I believe my example, gives an idea of what I mean, the father is a little too immature for the responsibilities, and weight of duty on his shoulders. There isn't enough...realism in the parent relationship for me. I mean if they are that at odds they should just divorce. Yet, with this you know they love each other, but differ over the use of Yasmine.

~~~~I lot of detail about the organization...I can't help wondering if we could find this out along the way...rather than having the character exhaust herself telling this all in the beginning of chapter four.

-_- Dads a women hater, bru~~~h! Yet, I like that addition of his mild dislike of females being in charge it makes him petty. Which is good, still again I think the dad character needs a scrub brush called maturity, I feel he should be more silent type, and have his actions speak for him...ah! That's it, he talks to much like he's twenty or something.

I feel like him talking about his distaste for her, or disapproval takes away from the possible showing of it like...

I entered the meeting room, and automatically went to my usual spot behind Majors chair. Relaxing my knees so I wouldn't feel dizzy, I'd gotten used to standing guard behind my Major (name change shows the real relationship, she shouldn't mentally call him father). He never seemed to notice that I was the only one standing. His eyes and ears focused on the meeting, or lecture. He would stand with a curt "come" and I would follow him out. I'd quickly grown used to being on my feet for long periods of time.

I LIKE CORAL!!Boom!

I truly wish there were other WORDS to describe good and bad, rather than LIGHT and DARK...use family names, or tribe names or dark and light in different language...it's not you it's me...Light, Dark, Shadow, Mist, Star, Moon, Red....are all words I'm honestly impatient
(more like sick) of seeing the human language spans hundreds of year, there are other words that can be used PEOPLE THIS IS TO EVERY AUTHOR ON WATTPAD!

I'm fairly sure someone on this site, is going to get away with a name like Rainbow star moon pack DON'T!!!!

Okay, it's really clear that Kyle raped her....>.> if he didn't~~~Nah, I'm pretty sure he tried. There isn't enough mystery here...it shouldn't be so obvious.

EXAMPLE (AGAIN):

I could feel his eyes on me.

I shuddered, the only thing that made me weak with fear was Kyle. I hated him. If it wasn't for his father that spoiled brat would never have made it this far.

That line, shows her distaste but it doesn't truly tell us why she hates him. "Is he just an Asshole?" "A cruel psycho path?" or "..."'

So~~~Anways~~ I made it to chapter four...because I had the time and I ain't get bored~~~. So I think this story is fairly good, and it's fast paced enough that you could read it during your break in school, or between classes. IT HAS MERIT!! Which is always a good thing, I doo feel her leaning towards cliché when the girl meets the vampires____SPOILER!! I'll stop, the vibe of everyone loves me, and want to be friends with me.... SPOILER ENDS HERE!!

Should you people take my word for it....nope!...NO! you should go check it out yourself and agree or disagree.

BORN OF SILENCE {BOOK1BLOODLINES TRILOGY} Go check it out...

SYWAR OUTY!!

Author: So yes, I do want other people who may have read the stories I review to comment, and give their views. Why? Call it a yelp page of books I developing here. OH, and people if you're going to take my idea of SYWAR and make your own thing for the love of marry and joseph, and Star Wars and harry potter!!! Give the credit for the idea to me please and thank you... Its the principle of the thing....this has absolutely nothing to do with the author I just reviewed...FYI!