xKariacex

Omo! Here we are another Review, it's been coming. And I've been doing things like avoiding it, and trying to slee~P, so I was like it's Saturday and I have a three-day weekend let's get it!!!

B***THAT'S MY NAME!! Okay, it's not really my name, but Corrine is my main character's name un Subtle Shift. Ugh, and I thought I was original, pfft.

Good, opening by the by, middle of action yet not SPLAT, fall, crash action intro. Good job!

"We've had this conversation for like a thousand times..." We don't need for. "We've had this conversation a thousand times. Could we please—, talk about something else?"

Side note: Writer read your chapters ALOUD, it helps. If it sounds awkward when you say it, it's going to read awkward.

Another.... Another awkward sentence, my brain cannot compute. Given it's the first chapter, too many road block sentences. "Me, and your grandfather didn't know much about your mother in the past, and you haven't learned anything in the year of searching. Just come back home, already.

A little awkward, but not as awkward.

I am not going to rewrite another sentence, Boo_Boo go back over the first half, some of those sentences are crying to be rewritten.

So far plot wise, I'm liking the opening. Thunder and Lightning, an intro that's not really an intro, A German shepherd (my favorited dog!!).

Followed by the cliché loss of signal, but yet-yet, this story now has this Harry Potter Mysticism vibe that draws you in. The car is driving it's self...aaaa~nd it crashed.

SEE! This is why we don't need self-driving cars, they'd kill us!

I DON'T DRIVE LONG ROADS...IT'S TIRING. Boo is good I would have been stopped and fell asleep in the car!

Tell me...WHO FREAKING CARRIES AROUND EXTRA PHONES FOR THE "USUAL" ACCIDENT, SMACKS OF SUPERNATURAL CHICKY!!

Followed by another awkward sentence, women!!!

NO! NOT CASPER!! We love Casper!!

This writer just made me choke *sobbing* she killed the dooo~~~G! ~why!

Ugh...Spinal cord. Soo....Here we go.

So this is only the first chapter, and you can already tell this isn't some half-baked story idea, without background and plotting. This chick intends for this to be a book. The smell of lazy creativity does not come from this work at all, and it's only the first chapter. Bruh. *gives you stank face* I don't need no more competition, ya heard.

Anyway. So going forth this story is pretty damn good, and not the be vulgar but I think it is the best after sex read. It would be perfect...especially when she gets further ahead. I know someone out there giving me eyes, and frowning like some white pigeon but that's how I feel BRAT!!

So go check out Night of the Lamb!! Is my judgment the only judgement, and all knowing belief? HELL NO!! Go and check it out for yourself and tell me what you think.

SYWAR Honesty OUT!

#<Z+