Reid^

I've been waiting for Justin almost twenty minutes, and he still hasn't emerged from the school building. I watch as students stream out, talking in little huddles. Justin always said they remind him of a pack of wolves. With the leaders up front, growling at everyone else and issuing orders, and the weaklings tagging along behind, always looking for some form of approval. I sigh, leaning against the school sign, turning my gaze to the sky.

"What are you doing?" Fiona taps me on the shoulder and I glance down at her, sighing.

"Waiting for my friend."

I refrain from saying his name, Fiona still gets weird whenever I mention him. She knows who I'm talking about, however, folding her arms and glaring up at me. I raise an eyebrow at her.

"Why don't you ride with me?" she asks.

"Because I don't want to."

Something about her makes me want to run the opposite direction. I never felt that before last year, back in lab partner days. Back when Justin could actually function as a human being. Back when I didn't even think about college or anything except quadratic equations.

Fiona frowns at me, "Why?"

Her never ending stream of questions never seem to stop. Glancing around for any sign of Justin, I see a flash of spiky multicolored hair and the next thing I know, Reid has her arms around my neck in some strange form of a hug. I grab her arm to keep from falling back against the school sign. She grins and lets me go, "If it isn't my future Vice President."

I roll my eyes at her. I haven't known Reid for that long but it seems like forever. She doesn't beat around the bush like other people do. I watch Fiona narrow her eyes at Reid, "Who is this?"

"Reid," I say as she puts an arm through mine.

"You two are... together?" her fawn eyes focus on Reid who shakes her head.

Reid extends her hand, "Reid Zuckerberg, venture capitalist, future president, she/her or they/them, I'm not that picky, and, not dating him. Ever. I don't do dudes...Or anyone for that matter. It's like the economy if you think about it. A free market won't suck up to anyone, it just is."

That's the thing with Reid, she'll always find ways to compare everything with the economy or government.

She leans against the sign and I sigh, checking my phone to see if Justin has some explanation as to why he hasn't arrived yet. Nothing. With another heavy sigh, I rub the side of my face, trying to tune out Reid and Fiona's bickering. That's another thing about Reid, she has to argue her point on everything. It doesn't matter what or why, she has to be right.

Fiona tosses her loose strawberry blonde curls, which sends a small pang through my chest. She had reddish curls that rolled down to her shoulders. Like if someone punched me in the gut, her face appears in my head again.

I didn't even know her that well, she was always just Justin's sister. The girl sitting across the table when I stayed at his house. She'd sometimes ask to play video games with us.

We'd always say no.

Your fault, your fault, your fault.

I shake my head, drawing myself back to reality. I have no time to dwell on matters that do not concern me. Yet her memory keeps haunting me.

Just as I slip my phone back into my hoodie pocket, someone calls me. A small flicker of hope ignites in me as I check the caller ID. I grin. Justin. "Hello?" I say, trying to sound as cheerful as possible.

His voice barely carries through the phone speaker, "Help me," a pause then, "please."

"Justin, what's wrong? Where are you?"

No response.

I give my friends a quick wave and dash back towards the school, looking in every which direction. That's when I see him.

Griffin's hair sticks out at odd directions and he has a stupid smirk on his face. An urge to punch that smile off his face boils inside my stomach. Instead of attacking, I walk towards him, telling Justin I'll come in a minute. I get no response. I walk up to Griffin, clenching my fists and forcing a pleasant tone. "Where's Justin?"

"Why do you care?" Griffin asks, barely looking at me as he scans the courtyard.

"Where is he?" I growl, taking a step closer to him.

"That way," he points in the vague direction of an alleyway at the edge of the old brick building.

He smells like sweat; his eyes refuse to meet mine. I follow the direction of his gaze, staring at Rodrick who stands a short distance away, talking to one of the stragglers. Most of the students have already left. Griffin pushes past me towards his friend and I roll my eyes, heading towards the small gap between buildings. Weeds have sprouted between the cracked pavement and it quickly turns to dirt. Brambles and saplings line the small path. What is this place?

An old rusty fence lines the path, scratching at my pants as I walk further and further back. I can only pray this is the right direction.

I freeze when I see him. He lays on the ground, holding his head with bloody arms, shirt torn in several areas. His side pressed up against an ancient yellow wall with jutting stones sticking out here and there, he looks more than half dead now. He looks like a ghost. His eyes stare right through me, his mouth hanging open at an odd angle, blood pouring from it like a faucet that someone turn off all the way.

I run to him, cupping his face with my hands. "Justin. God, what did he do to you?"

He doesn't respond, eyes darting around my face, as if he's searching for something. I rub away his tears with my thumb, shaking my head at the ghastly sight. Scratches in his face, tears in his shirt, and his arms, I can barely bring myself to look. "Please, Justin, talk to me."

He doesn't say anything, bloodied hand reaching out. He grasps my hoodie with his fingers, clutching it weakly. I haven't noticed the tears rolling down my face until one lands on his wrist, turning as red as his blood. Carefully, not disturbing his hold on me, I turn his wrist over. I choke at what I see, shaking my head in disbelief. How could he do such a thing? I look up but his stormy eyes have closed, water streaming down his cheeks.

I collapse on top of him, holding him as close as I dare. He whimpers quietly and increases his hold on my hoodie. Justin goes limp underneath me, yelping. I pull up, looking down to see the brambles and thorns growing around the disgusting old wall. What to do?

Carefully, I slide him off the ground and lift him into my arms. He's way too light. I hold him as tightly as I dare, nose buried in his sweaty yet still poofy hair. "Help me," he whispers again.

"It's okay," I whisper, hoping he doesn't see my tears, "I'm here now."

I don't know exactly what he did, but whatever it is, Griffin must be involved somehow.

My heart does little backflips in my chest as I cup his cheek, staring into his hollow irises. He doesn't speak again, sniffing quietly. The smell of sweat and dirt radiate off of him but I don't care. I don't care what an awkward position this is. All I can do is stare at his thin face, leaning forward without control of my body. I press my forehead to his, that same strange urge pushing me to lean even closer. My gaze flickers down to his chapped lips, watching a line of blood trickle down his cheek and chin. I use my thumb to wipe it away, looking into his face again. He grabs my hand on his cheek, pulling it off and guiding it down to his torso. I can't help but notice how his hands shake.

Justin adjusts himself in my arms, face squished into my hoodie, fingers once again clutching at it. I sigh, leaning back against the yellowish wall, inhaling as the sharp rocks bump against my back. I try to get as comfortable as I can, Justin doesn't look like he'll move anytime soon.

Griffin deserves to pay for what he's done. And I'll make sure he does.

Justin looks up at me, just barely. "He's going to kill you," I say quietly, running my hand down his spine and up again.

He winces and shakes his head, burying his face once more and mumbling something into my shirt.

"Dude, I can't hear you."

He just squeezes me tighter.

For a moment, his pitiful expression transports me back to her funeral.

Her pale, lifeless form on display for all to see. Grey eyes closed forever. Until I turned around to see Justin standing away from the crowd, his face so similar to hers. He didn't say anything as I approached him. He didn't say anything as I wrapped my arms around him. I still don't know if I did it to make him feel better or myself.

"Why don't we head home?" I ask, hauling him upright and reaching for his backpack which lays a short distance away.

Justin yelps, sagging against me. He struggles to breathe, holding onto me with a vice-like grip, sniffing. I try to remember how my dad told me to pick someone up fireman style; back in the days when he'd stop play fighting and turn it into a lesson. I throw him over my shoulder, as not to hurt him.

It's a tight squeeze down the little alley way, and I sacrifice my own comfort so he doesn't bump against the rough brick walls. My shoe bumps into every stone and bramble, but it's worth it. He remains silent most of the way until we arrive in the open courtyard. Thankfully, everyone has left, including Fiona and Reid.

I set him down before the stone steps leading down to gate which leads into the street. "Can you walk?" I ask, holding most of his weight.

Justin nods, taking a careful step down the stairs. I notice his tight muscles and heavy breathing but don't comment. I readjust my satchel and his backpack, keeping close as we step out from the green gate and into the street. I put my arm back around him and he glances up at me. "Come over?" he asks in a small voice.

"Yeah of course, dude."

He smiles, just barely, and gives me a little squeeze, "Thank you. For being here. I, I didn't know who else to call."

If his boyfriend is worth two cents, he should have been able to call him. A smug grin spreads across my lips at the thought. "I'm always here for you."

My smile fades at the reason why he didn't call his boyfriend.

Because Griffin did this to him.

That means Griffin has to go.

The metro station arrives faster than I expected with Justin's slow pace. People keep giving him glances on the street, probably thinking he's some homeless junkie. A few looked at me with disgust, as if I'm some sick animal. They probably think I did this to him... The thought makes my blood roar in my ears, fists clenching, ready to attack whoever thinks I could possibly do such a heinous act.

"Can you make it down the stairs?" I ask as we step in front of the dark pit that leads to the metro station.

He pauses for a moment and nods. I don't believe him. "I'll get you," I say, lifting him up quite easily and picking my way down the stairs carefully, carrying him bridal style.

Thanks to years of rock climbing I know how to find a foothold on the slippery cement. His arms wrap around my neck but I hold almost all of his weight, the cuts probably weakening his already fragile muscles. I give one last look to the grey sky before setting him down on the station floor, stepping deeper into the dark, dimly lit plaza. Justin follows close behind as I swipe my pass and push through the metal bar, Justin doing the same. He wrinkles his nose, which I somehow find utterly adorable. How can I find Justin disliking the putrid stench of the city underground endearing?

I push the thoughts away and stand in wait for the next train. Justin sits down on a bench, clutching his knees to his chest. I sit next to him a short distance away, staring out into the gloomy station.

A train comes rolling in and I alert Justin, who still seems lost in his own universe, eyes closed, brows furrowed, focused on something... something.

The ride feels far too long. Justin doesn't speak the entire time, staring out the window as the metro roars down the tracks. Completely ignored, I lean my head back and try to forget what happened with Fiona and Griffin and...everything, really. Forget what I don't really know. Forget this empty feeling rising in my chest, opening a formless chasm in me.

The grey skies match our moods as we get off the train and begin the short walk to Justin's house. He still doesn't speak, withdrawn deep inside himself. I never noticed how quiet he's become before, but now I realize he barely speaks, even around Griffin. The bare trees line our path, wind whistling through the empty branches. Justin shivers and my instincts (I didn't even know I have instincts) kick in. I stop, set down our bags and pull off my hoodie, revealing my soccer team shirt. He turns around and watches in shock as I hand him the soft material.

Justin gives me a tiny, tiny smile, pulling it over his head.

That little semblance of a smile makes everything worth it; the cold nipping at my arms and through the thin shirt, carrying his backpack, and getting ignored (probably unintentionally). He has his face buried in the fabric as we step into his driveway, his red hair barely poking out from under the hood. It's far too big for him but that only makes him more adorable as he pulls open the front door to his house.

Justin takes off his shoes and I do the same, walking into the living room. I was going to plop on his couch like I usually do, but something hits me before I can. Neatly stacked books, freshly cleaned floors that sparkle underneath the hanging light fixture far up on the high ceiling, every blanket neatly folded, the gas fireplace dusted and perfect, it looks as if they hired a maid. I gasp, turning around in a circle, hardly noticing Justin standing in a corner, trying to remain as small as possible.

"My dad's downstairs," Justin says, nervously fidgeting with the hem of my hoodie, "but uh, he never comes out so..." he sniffs, wiping his eyes.

I hug him, not really knowing why at the time. Something just seems off about this place.

Empty. The place is emptier than usual.

He pulls away and looks at the floor, walking up the large wooden stairs, perfectly immaculate like the rest of the house. I wait a few moments to follow, gazing around the room one last time.

When I finally reach the landing at the top of the stairs, Justin stands in the hallway, face pressed against a closed door. The only closed door I can see. I step behind him, maybe a little too close. He doesn't seem to notice me, so I clear my throat.

Justin jumps, whirling around only to bump into me. He wobbles and his hands find my chest to steady himself. He quickly realizes the situation and looks up, face red. I find myself staring down at his mouth. I try to force my eyes anyplace else but I can't, utterly frozen.

"What are you doing?" Justin finally says, hands sliding down my chest and to the door behind him.

"I, I don't know."

The next thing I know he's stumbling backwards, door flying open, mumbling something unintelligible. I'm about to follow after him when I see the room. I suddenly understand why he was standing there, staring at it.

It's her room.

Justin groans, laying on his back. He must have fallen. How could I not notice that?

His hoodie and partly unbuttoned shirt rose up a bit and I catch a glance of his bruises stomach, ribs jutting out unnaturally. He looks like a skeleton.

He sits up, rubbing his forehead before looking around. His eyes widen as he takes in the room. The purple walls and butterfly themed calendar send shivers down my spine. A date is circled in red sharpie on the calendar but I can't tell exactly which one from the distance, but I know. It has to be the day she did it, the day she died.

His sister hadn't been a young girl when she died but the room reminds me of a small child's. I almost expect her to bounce up from the perfectly made bedspread, demanding to know who disturbed her slumber. It's like the entire room is asleep, frozen in time, making anyone who enters freeze as well. The bedspread, a poster with some boy band on it, the desk's neatly stacked papers waiting for someone to sit down and do homework. Except she never will. Not anymore.

Someone sniffs loudly, drawing my attention away from the strange place. Justin sits with his knees to his chest, holding his head and rocking back and forth. I walk over to him, sinking to my knees. "You have to stop this, dude," I pull at his hand and he hisses, jerking away from me with a little whimper.

His breathing becomes unnaturally loud and shallow. "Can't," he whispers over and over, tears pouring down his face.

He tugs at his hair so hard I think he might have ripped some hair out. His eyes stare at nothing in particular, seeing something I can't, something in his imagination. It's like he's on another planet, experiencing something I can't comprehend. That kills me.

"I don't know what to do!" my stomach churns and I place a hand on his shoulder.

He screams, eyes so wide I think they might pop out of their sockets. He scrambles away from me, falling onto his side, choking on his own air. His hyperventilating is all I can focus on, his thin face expressionless. How am I supposed to help him?

Blinking back tears, I kneel in front of him, careful not to touch his burning hot skin. He looks right through me, but I hope some part of him registers my presence. "Justin," I say, trying to convey all I want to say in that one word. It doesn't work so I say what I really want to say. "Justin, he's going to break you. You have to stop this."

It's the exact truth. I have to hold onto what I know. I have to get to the point, otherwise I'll get lost.

It takes Justin a few moments to come out of whatever headspace he got stuck in. He finally looks up, eyes red and puffy.

He rubs his eyes, sitting up. I fold my arms, determined to get to him somehow, no matter what it takes. "You have to end it with him," I say as firmly as I can.

No response.

"He's hurting you. He's breaking you."

"I was broken a long time ago."

He has his gaze fixated on the floor, hair hiding his face. He refuses to look at me. "Listen to me. You have to stop this."

Justin finally looks up, shaking his head, "I want to! For a while now I've known, but, but I can't. I'm scared."

"I know, but it's okay, I'm here."

I give him a small smile, mostly because that's all I can do right now. Say what's true and put a smile on anyway.

It's all I have.

Because if I stop smiling, for even one second, if I let down this mask and break down, where would I be then?

----

I'm swooning lol. I don't know why but I've always liked this chapter. Let me know what you think about it!

And like the annoying self-prompting bastard I am, don't forget to like, comment and subscribe!!

Lol I'm a Youtuber now because I have to film all this stuff for music and put it on youtube (it's unlisted), and send it in. So like, I've been sticking my sister's go pro on a tripod and then a baby tripod on top of that tripod. It's trippy lol. 

You guys have a favorite YouTuber? I can't say I do lol.