Kayla's POV

I arrived at the place Jarvis and I agreed to meet at. It was a membership lounge area in the highest floor of a hotel in Makati. Barely no one was inside except for a utility personnel who was cleaning the bar counter earlier. Pero maging ito ay umalis din.

Umupo ako sa booth malapit sa glass wall overlooking the clear afternoon Makati skyline. It was a perfect, peaceful place I didn't know existed close to my condo. I could almost see my building behind several towering skyscrapers.

I made myself comfortable on the firm seat and roamed my eyes around the place to get my mind off things. Nabanggit ni Jarvis na kilala niya ang nagm-manage ng hotel because they used to play here when the band's career was just starting. The small stage at the far side of the room must be where they had their performances. Saint Claire had really come so far... from small venues like this to concert arenas.

I stared at the screen of my phone while waiting. Jarvis must be having a hard time getting out of the building where the band's condo unit was located. I heard from Eula that there were medias dying to have an exclusive interview from Jarvis and some wild fans were seen around their building.

Gagong Jarvis.

I smiled at the name. I didn't bother changing it despite being officially in a relationship with him. I like the name... it was so him... silly, unpredictable, pleasant. It was the first thing that caught my attention the day his name popped up in my notification.

I probably won't forget about it... his first chat where he had to apologize for the tweet he posted and the book he brought on a trip. Ironic how I used to be genuinely annoyed by his presence... the drunk chatting, the obvious flirting. I've never met someone who was so outspoken and persistent as him. It was like the moment when he fell down the stairs. The more I pushed him away, the more he came tumbling towards me.

Who would have imagined, that someone like me would fall for the bright, silly presence of a drummer from a famous band? But I know why. With thousands of people who look up to him, he chose me during the times when I couldn't even look at my reflection in the mirror and choose myself.

Sumulyap akong muli sa labas, habang tumatagal, unti-unti kong nararamdaman ang panginginig ng mga palad ko. In the last few weeks I barely had proper sleep. I was taking doubled of my prescribed medications because I was feeling too much, too rapidly. I was in an ocean with the current pulling me below and the contentious waves crashing against me.

The backlash against Jarvis and Saint Claire hadn't fade. Lalo lang itong tumitindi dahil sa papalapit na concert. People had different opinions about the issue, with different faces hiding behind screens, but same painful words.

The internet is indeed a scary place to be in and to rely on. A single wrong could erase every right... and right is questioned to be wrong. It widens people's perspective of the world but it closed their mind and removed their compassion.

My phone on the table lit up and showed an image of Jarvis' silly face giving me a kiss. It was a photo he took the last time we were together. Every time I see it, I couldn't help but smile... but after today, I don't know if I could still keep it.

Jarvis' message told me he's already on the ground floor. Umayos ako ng upo. Muling bumalot sa'kin ang kaba, ang pagdadalawang isip, ang hindi maipaliwanag na sakit sa aking dibdib. I gripped the fabric on my lap with my sweaty palms.

It's gonna be okay.

After a minute, the elevator on the far corner dings. The door slowly opened to reveal his face, worried, anxious, but once he saw me standing, waiting for him, nagliwanag ang mukha niya, umaliwalas at ngumiti.

Agad niya akong pinuntahan at hinila sa isang yakap. He pulled me close to his chest with his palm over my head. I could feel his heavy breathing against my ear. Jarvis' hugs... it's one of the things I would miss from him.

I pulled away from him and glanced up at his face above me. His sleep-deprived eyes, his hair disheveled as though he had no time to care for himself, even the playful smile on his teasing lips... they were all gone.

We both sat on the booth facing each other. "Kayla..." he started. "I'm sorting things out. I know you're not okay... but please be patient with me..."

Pinagmasdan ko si Jarvis. Eula had told me about it... that his management wanted him to deny the photos. They wanted Jarvis to release a statement the same day the photos circulated on the internet... but he refused to deny it and now he was being questioned for breaching the contract.

He was the one hurting most in this situation. He was the one losing the more it goes.

"Kayla, I know this isn't part of our plan but I'll release a statement tomorrow confirming our relationship so they wouldn't have to harass or drag your name."

"How about the band?"

Hindi agad sumagot si Jarvis. There were talks that the concert could be moved or completely canceled, not only because of the backlash but because of the disagreement with their management.

The band members were on Jarvi's side, but how long could they bear to see their hard work crashing down? How much do they have to lose? How long Jarvis had to suffer?

"Follow the management's advice, Jarvis..."

His whole face froze as he stared at me.

"Remember when I told you you're my greatest discovery? I want people to see it too. I want to see you shine brighter on stage, Jarvis. Because it's where you belong. It's where you're the happiest I've seen you."

Umiling siya. Inabot niya ang palad ko at mahigpit na hinawakan.

"I want you to be there..." pakiusap niya. "You'll be there, right? We'll keep our promise, right? We're each other's strength... please, Kayla..."

Ramdam ko ang panginginig ng palad niya habang hawak ako.

"Jarvis..." I started, voice breaking with every word. "Focus on the band's growth without worrying about me... I'll cheer for you silently without hurting."

Nakatitig si Jarvis sa'kin, nakatulala.

"This is the best time for Saint Claire and I don't want to ruin it. You deserve the praises, the attention. People deserve to know more of you and your music."

My eyes stung at the corners as warm tears brimmed my lids. "I don't want to be hurt with your success. I want to be happy for you genuinely, and you need to be happy with what you do genuinely. And that only way we could do that... is to break up."

Jarvis rose from his seat. Bigla niya akong niyakap. Nanatili akong nakaupo habang nakaluhod siya sa sahig at yakap ako. "Babe please... please, I'll do better.... Please give me another chance. I'll be better... Kayla... please..."

Nanginginig ang mga palad ko habang niyayakap siya pabalik at pumapatak ang mga luha ko sa kanyang balikat. "No, Jarvis... you're the best thing that happened to me. You with your silly comebacks and flirty chats..."

Ngumiti ako nang may luha sa mga mata. "I'm not doing this because there's fault between us. I'll always be here for you... I'll always be the writer you know and you'll always be my Jarvis... but now isn't the right time for us."

Tinulungan ko siyang tumayo hanggang sa kaharap na namin ang isa't-isa. Hinawakan ko ang mukha niya gamit ang magkabila kong palad at tinitigan.

"I want us to cheer for each other's success without hurting. And maybe... when the world is kinder to us, we could walk into each other's lives again and this time, we'll stay."

Bumagsak ang luha mula sa kanyang mga mata habang nakatitig sa'kin. "Kayla... I know how painful it is to be with me right now. I know things are fucked up right now... but I don't want to lose you. I can't let you go."

Muli akong binalot ng kanyang mga bisig.

"It's okay, Jarvis..." I mumbled, hugging him back. "We'll be okay. We're just giving each other chance to chase our dreams without hurting each other. I'll always be here cheering for you. So promise me you'll do your best, okay?"

"It must have been hard for you in the past weeks you were with me..."

I silently nodded with tears in my eyes. "I couldn't breathe."

He buried his face on my shoulder, dampen by his tears. "I'm sorry. I promised not to hurt you... not to let you drown, but you're crying in front of me... I fucked up... I fucked up..."

Hinaplos ko ang kanyang buhok at muling hinawakan ang magkabila niyang mukha. I pulled him close until his lips reached mine. I kissed him, with all the yearning and despite the tears.

"I love you... that's all I want you to remember. I'll always love you, Jarvis..."

Nanatili kaming yapak ang isa't-isa na tila hindi gustong bumitaw. The sun slowly set behind the buildings, casting separate rays of orange glow in our direction. Hanggang sa unti-unti kaming bumitaw mula sa bisig ng isa't-isa.

We stared at each other, memorizing each other's faces, each other's features and voices before leaving. Sa huling pagkakataon, muling nagsalita si Jarvis.

"We could still talk... right? Like always... even if as friends... please..."

I slowly nodded. He dried my tears with his thumb and placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

But the chat box between Gagong Jarvis and Kayla Veronica remained empty since that day.

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