chapter nineteen ━ parades & pageants
( season two, episode six )

❝ you could give me a million dollars,
and i still wouldn't join a pageant. ❞

"𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐔𝐒 𝐒𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐄 than it usually does?" Eddie asked his friends.

The group of karate students were sitting in Falafel Phil's after school when the boy noticed the difference in the food.

Well, what he thought was the food.

"It's not the hummus," Milton replied before gesturing to his left. "It's coming from him."

Veronica looked over at Jerry who dug under his shirt. "It's my cologne," he said, pulling out a spray bottle. "It's called 'impurity'." He was about to spray the scent when Veronica rested her hand on his arm.

"Please don't. You really don't need to share it with the rest of us."

She furrowed her brows when she heard a high-pitched giggle and looked around, her gaze landing on a redheaded girl at the cash register. "Check it out," Jack said and Kim immediately rolled her eyes at the girl. "Swathmore Academy students. Perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect teeth—"

"Perfectly disgusting," Kim added. Veronica looked at her and patted her on the shoulder. "I'm calm, don't worry."

Milton shrugged. "They must have finally realized Phil makes the best falafel in town."

"Put it in a doggie bag, you," the girl said and Veronica grimaced; that was awkward timing. "It's for our dogs. Can you imagine? He thought we were going to eat this."

She and her friend both laughed. Even their laugh sounded rich and annoying. "What's next?" her friend asked. "Should we go bathe in the mall fountain?"

They both laughed again making Veronica lean over to Kim. "I see why they annoy you so much."

"Oh—uh—not—not from 3:30 to 4:00," Jerry said in response to the boy's question causing the two girls to look over at him. "That's Jerry time."

The Swathmore girl walked over to their table. "Hello, Jerry," she greeted in an airy tone. "I wish I could stay, but my poor pug is starving. Wuv."

Veronica furrowed her brows. "What was that?" she asked the table.

"'My poor pug is starving,'" Kim mocked. "'Wuv.' Who talks like that?"

Eddie sighed, leaning back in the booth. "Unfortunately, no one I know."

"They think they're so much better than us just because they go to a private school," Kim said, crossing her arms with a small huff.

Jack shrugged. "Well, we are eating their dog food."

Milton frowned. "And they're a week away from showing us up again during Seaford on parade," he added.

"You know, I thought our float last year was a winner," Jerry replied.

Veronica shook her head. "It wasn't a float, Jerry," she said, wishing she could forget the memory. "It was Ernie the janitor sitting in a shopping cart with a tube sock on his head."

"Winner," he repeated.

"I don't know why they always win the float competition," Kim interjected making her friends look at her. "I mean, what was so impressive about their giant space shuttle last year?"

"It flew!"

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𝐑𝐔𝐃𝐘 𝐆𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐀 𝐃𝐈𝐅𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐔𝐋𝐓 history when it came to Seaford on Parade, something Veronica had been forced to listen to for half of her life. And, as a result of Eddie telling his friends that he had been chosen as the head of the float committee—after nobody wanted the job—the rest of the karate misfits had to listen to his complaints.

"I hate this time of year!"

Jack furrowed his brows. "What's wrong with Seaford on Parade?" he asked, saying the unfortunate question.

Veronica whimpered, banging her head on his shoulder. "I thought you learned by now that you should never ask him a question!"

Rudy sighed at Jack's question. "This is the week where the whole town is reminded of the horrible thing I let happen. The year was 1996..."

"Case in point," Veronica said to Jack who nodded, groans from their friends echoing around them.

"I was proudly pushing the Seaford float down the street," Rudy continued, oblivious to the teenagers' annoyance. "My theme—?"

"The Mighty Lentil," Veronica said in a bored tone.

Rudy nodded. "It was in honor of Seaford's number one crop," he added while the girl hung her head.

Milton smiled. "I love a good lentil story!"

"Out of nowhere, ten—nay! A hundred rich kids from Swathmore Academy attacked me, led by Teddy Kavanagh," Rudy told the group. "Oh, I fought back. But when the dust settled, the Seaford High flag was gone, and my lentil had been... violated." Veronica wrinkled her nose. "Our flag has been held captive by Swathmore ever since."

Veronica shook her head. "For the hundredth time, Uncle Rudy, you were in high school when this happened. You're sort of an adult now, just go over there and get the flag back."

"Yeah." He nodded. "Maybe you're right. I am gonna march right over to Swathmore Academy and get back what Teddy Kavanagh took from me."

"About time..." Veronica mumbled.

"Do you have any more good lentil stories?" Milton asked their sensei who smiled happily at the question.

"Hundreds!" he exclaimed, sitting down on the bench next to the redhead. "Here are my top five."

Veronica hurried away. "Get me out of here. I can't hear them again." Kim dragged her outside of the dojo where the brunette immediately furrowed her brows at the large clam in front of the building. "You see it too, right?"

Her question was partially answered when Kim backed into the Swathmore Academy girl they had seen at Phil's. "Ew! Sweaty girl in her pajamas just bumped into me."

Kim tilted her head. "Sorry, I was distracted by the giant toilet seat," she replied and Veronica chuckled to herself.

The girl, however, did not find it funny. "That is the clam for the Pearl of Seaford pageant," she said with a scoff.

"Whatever."

Kim took Veronica's hand and started to walk away. "Too bad they don't have something for you plain Seaford High girls."

The blonde paused and crossed her arms. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, boy..." Veronica sighed.

"You're not beauty pageant material," Claire, the Swathmore Academy girl, said making Veronica glance at Kim. "You're what we call... Not beauty pageant material."

"Really?" Kim asked, pressing her lips together in a forced, sarcastic smile. "Well... maybe it's time for one of us plain Seaford High girls to be the pearl."

Claire laughed. "Never happening, hon. No Seaford High girl will ever know the pleasures of sitting in that clam."

Kim hummed. "We'll see about that."

"Oh, yes, we will."

Veronica nodded to herself and stood beside Claire. "Just to warn you, she is one of the most competitive people I've ever met. She loves to win."

"So do I."

"Well, she also kicks and punches things on a daily basis," she added, looking up at Kim who had climbed into the clam. "So—uh—good luck."

"Why is this wet?"

___________________________

"𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐄, 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 don't want to join the pageant with me?" Veronica was sitting on one of the mats in the dojo beside Jack while Milton was helping Kim with her dress. "I'm sure I could get you in."

"You could give me a million dollars, and I still wouldn't join a pageant," Veronica replied, shaking her head as her eyes scanned the red dress that the blonde was wearing. "And you're not exactly selling the idea at the moment..."

"Wrong, wrong, wrong!" Milton said, proving the brunette's point though she did tilt her head at his tone. "Turn around." When Kim did, he groaned. "Oh, sweetie, wronger!" She opened her mouth with a frown. "What were you thinking when you put on that abomination?"

"My aunt loaned me this dress," she replied and Veronica pressed her lips together.

"Honey, don't take this the wrong way, but..." She shook her head. "Please take it off. There's too many ruffles and... it does not bring out your eyes."

She crossed her arms and pouted. "You know, the pageant's a pretty big deal this year," Jerry said and they looked at him. "The winner gets a crown and gets to go to England to represent Seaford for a month."

Kim scoffed. "I don't care about crowns or England," she answered, shaking her head. "I just want to wipe that smug smirk off of Claire's face."

Veronica nodded. "That's the spirit," she quipped.

Milton clapped in front of Kim's face. "Farm girl, you want to win? This is what you do." Veronica, Jack, and Jerry glanced at each other. "Get yourself over to gown depot, talk to Georgio, tell him I sent you and that you need..." He looked over the girl's appearance. "The disaster package. Make it work, Kimberly!"

"I don't need you or Georgio's help," Kim replied before looking at her friends who all nodded. "Give me that!"

Snatching the business card out of Milton's hand, Kim walked out of the dojo with a small huff. Veronica leaned against the wall just as Eddie joined them. "Guys, this float thing is killing me. I don't have a theme. I'm blocked. I'm freaking out, man!" He began shaking Jack who had started walking towards him. "I'm freaking out!"

"Eddie, man, just calm down," Jack said, taking hold of him. "We'll help you come up with an idea. Right, guys?"

Veronica shrugged. "Sure," she agreed, lying down on the mat and looking over at him. "What can we do?"

"Uh—why don't you guys just say the first word that pops into your head when I say... Seaford."

"Seaford!" Jerry exclaimed.

Eddie shook his head. "No, no. It can't be Seaford. Any word but—"

"But!"

"No, no." Eddie sighed. "Dude, just say what pops into your—"

"Pops!" Veronica rolled her eyes at Jerry. "Keep 'em coming, man. I'm in the zone."

"Forget it."

"Believe that?" Jerry asked his friends. "Try and help a guy."

Veronica looked over at him. "What is the inside of your brain like?" She furrowed her brows when she heard muttering and saw Rudy walking into the dojo in frustration. "Rudy! How'd it go at Swathmore Academy?"

"Actually, it's a—it's a funny story," Rudy replied with a chuckle as his niece sat upright on the mat. "I—uh—I went down there, and... This is totally gonna make you laugh. Um—the kid who took the flag is now the headmaster. It's funny, huh?" Veronica raised her eyebrows as he continued to laugh. "It's funny!"

"Wait, wait, so the bully became the leader of more bullies?" she asked him.

"You asked for the flag and he said no?" Jack added, furrowing his brows.

Rudy nodded. "Yeah. Not only that, but he said when he took the flag, Seaford High officially became the home of the losers."

"You know what? That's it." Veronica looked at Jack. "If they won't give us our flag back, we're gonna take it."

"Then you know what you guys could do?" Rudy asked the group. "You could climb up on that General Swathmore statue in front of the library and put a big bra on it. And—And one of those adult diapers on the horse." He looked around. "Wouldn't that be so—Wouldn't that—Diaper on the—Or you guys could just go get the flag back."

Veronica sighed. "Well, good luck, boys."

"Where are you going?" Jack asked her.

"To watch a pageant," she replied with a small whine. "I'm being a good friend, I'm being a good friend... Kim owes me."

___________________________

𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐀 𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐎𝐔𝐓 of place while sitting in the audience of the pageant. For starters, she was eating popcorn while everybody else was intently watching the contestants' dance routines. As much as she loved Kim, she looked away during her interpretive dance routine which resulted in a score of zero from all three judges.

Not to mention that the pageant host threw up in the nearest trash can.

[ SKATER BOY ]
2:51 pm
We were unsuccessful in getting
the flag. And apparently my
lying skills aren't very good.

[ RONNIE ]
2:53 pm
i don't know what any of that
means. but i'm sure you'll
think of something. probably
something dangerous. good
luck.

[ SKATER BOY ]
2:56 pm
We're going to hide in Eddie's
tree trunk float and ambush
Swathmore at the parade.

Veronica quirked an eyebrow upward, scratching the back of her head.

[ RONNIE ]
3:00 pm
of course you are...

She looked up when she heard the host begin speaking to the contestants. "Alright, Claire. Here's your question. Why do you think you should be the pearl of Seaford?"

Claire smiled as she took the microphone. "I'm rich, I'm pretty, and... world peace!" Veronica looked around when everybody began clapping. "Thank you, thank you."

"The world is doomed if this is our future..."

"No, thank you, Claire," the host told her and the brunette shook her head. "I think we're all better people... having heard that, huh, aren't we?"

Veronica glanced at the judges who held up two nines and an eight. "Really? Just for that?"

"Seriously?" Kim asked, taking the microphone for her turn. "A twenty-six? Well, let me tell you, if this is what you think is good, then I'm obviously not your pearl."

"Did I mention I take in homeless whales?" Claire added.

"Stuff it, Claire!" Kim frowned. "You know, let me tell you, if I was the pearl, I wouldn't just represent the rich and the pretty people." Claire smiled and waved. "I'd represent everyone. From the hardworking women in the factories... to the guy at the donut shop who eats all the napkins. Well, maybe not him. Well, you know what? Even him. Because that's who we are in Seaford. A bunch of crazy, napkin-eating nuts!"

Veronica smiled to herself. "You tell 'em, Kim!" As the blonde was about to leave the stage, everybody started clapping and she paused. Veronica looked over at the judges who held up three tens. "A perfect score!"

"You are a pearl, Kim," the host said, his feelings towards the girl doing a complete one-eighty. "An undeniable pearl!"

Claire yelped as she was hit in the face and Veronica winced. "Ouch. I can't tell what hurts more for her... her ego or her nose."

___________________________

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 Seaford High flag was a success. Not only did Jack, Jerry, Milton, Eddie, and Rudy manage to get the flag back into their possession, but they also seized the Swathmore Academy float which was a pirate ship. Despite working on his own float for many days, Eddie didn't seem to be very upset that they weren't using his.

"I'm driving a pirate ship!"

Veronica chuckled to herself. "Happy Seaford on Parade, everybody."

___________________________

━ author's note:

sorry this is so short, everyone, especially after the long wait. it was mostly a filler chapter.

however, i DO know when ronnie and jack are getting together so y'all can look forward to that happening sometime soon(ish) :)