Again, gonna be some stuff about self harm and depression, but you already knew that, and I don really think I can stop you but anyway you gonna read anyway. You look lovely today by the way.

Puma's POV

The three of us were at the park Cole used to love playing at. I had to sit down because remembering all the memories made my legs weak.

"Nice view, huh?" Dad said as Connor neared us. Dad held a beer bottle in his hand, occasionally drinking from it. Something was bothering him, I could tell, but it wasn't going to be any use since he probably wouldn't talk about it. I understood that feeling very well. "We used to come here a lot before..."

"May I ask you a personal question, lieutenant?" Connor asked.

"Do all androids ask so many personal questions, or is it just you?" Dad sighed. Connor ignored him.

"Why are you so determined to kill yourself?"

"Some things, I just can't forget... Whatever I do, they're always there... eating away at me..." Dad admitted. "I don't have the guts to pull the trigger... so I kill myself a little everyday... That's probably difficult for you to understand, huh, Connor? Nothing very rational about it." When I turned to Connie, he was glancing between me and Dad. Was he asking this as a rhetorical question for myself too?

"Before what?" Connor asked. "You said 'We used to come here a lot before.' Before what?"

Looking at Dad, I knew he wouldn't answer. "Before... Before nothin'."

I decided to change the subject. "We're not making any progress on this investigation. The deviants have nothing in common. They're different models, produced at different times, in different places..."

"Well, there must be some link." Dad shrugged.

"What they have in common, is this obsession with rA9." Connor thought, walking in front of us to look down at the bridge. Then he turned to us, folding his hands in front of him. "It's almost some sort of... myth. Something they invented that wasn't part of their program..."

"Androids believing in a God." Dad shook his head. "Fuck, what's this world coming to..."

"You seem preoccupied." I turned to Dad. "Is it something that has to do back at what happened at the Eden Club?"

"Those two girls..." Dad started. "They really seemed to want to be together. They really seemed... In love." He looked at the scenery.

"You really do seem troubled lieutenant, I didn't think machines could have such an effect on you."

"What about you, Connor?" Dad stood up. "You look human, you sound human, but what are you really?"

Connor blinked, thinking it over. "I'm whatever you want me to be, lieutenant. Your partner, your buddy to drink with," he looked at me before continuing. "A friend... or just a machine, designed to accomplish a task."

I smiled. It seemed calming for some reason.

"You could've shot those two girls, but you didn't. Why didn't you shoot, Connor?" Dad gave him a shove, causing Connor to stumble back.

"Dad," I said, warning him. He either didn't hear me or ignored me.

"Hm? Some scruple suddenly enter your program?"

"No. I just... decided not to shoot. That's all."

Dad pulled out a gun and aimed it at Connor's head. His LED flashed red for a split second, sensing immediate danger. But the android didn't flinch. I stood up as I sensed my heart beating faster. If Connor wasn't careful, he could die right on the spot.

"I could kill you... But are you afraid to die, Connor?"

"I would certainly find it... regrettable... to be interrupted before I can finish the investigation." He answered, choosing his words carefully.

"What will happen if I pull this trigger? Hm? Nothing? Oblivion? Android heaven?"

"I doubt there's a heaven for androids," Connor said quietly.

I froze. I doubt there's a heaven for androids. Doubt is an emotion.

"Having existential doubts, Connor? Sure you're not going deviant too?" Dad seemed to think the same thing.

"I self-test regularly," Connor answered. "I know what I am, and what I am not."

I watched dad's hand as it started to shake and lowered his gun. I let out a tiny sigh of relief. "Where are you going?" I asked Dad as he started walking away.

"To get drunker! C'mon, I'll take you home."

I turned to Connor, still amazed at the act. He's doubting things, even if he said it in a sarcastic tone, I bet he's starting to turn deviant. Maybe I can convince him to turn.

"I think that was enough action for a night. Let go Connie." We both walked after Dad.

***

"Do you want to stay over for a bit?" I asked Dad as he parked his car at my house. I knew what was coming if Connor and I were left alone and I wanted to delay the talk for as far as possible.

"Eh, sure why not." Dad shrugged. The three of us walked towards my house as I unlocked it. Hunter jumped to greet us.

"Hey, Hunter! Did you miss us? I know you did..." I cooed at my dog and walked up the stairs. "You two sit down, I'll be right back," I called over my shoulder. I could feel Connor's glare piercing me, but I chose to ignore it. Hopping up the stairs I let out a shaky breath as I locked the bathroom door. Throwing off my jacket, I pulled down my long sleeves to examine my cuts. They were alright. I left around 10 horizontal cuts running down my wrists to the end of my forearms. Pulling the sleeves down and throwing the jacket over me, I went down the stairs again.

"So, you guys want anything?" I asked Dad and Connor, who were talking in the living room.

"Nah, I'm good. How 'bout you Connor?" Dad asked.

"I'm fine. Puma, can I have you for a moment?" Connor asked.

"Um, yeah wait one second." I got out another chocolate bar and munched on it. I haven't eaten anything all day. Throwing the wrapper away, the knot in my stomach kept twisting from nervousness.

What did Connor want? I knew what he wanted but I was too afraid to admit it.

"Alright." I nodded, super nervous on the inside. Connor led me to my room and closed the door before walking over to me. I sat down on my bed and tucked a leg under me, slightly tilting my head to the side.

"Puma, may I please see your arms?" His question sent a chill down my spine.

Your fault, it's your fault! Negativity sang. He's gonna hate you!

"Why?" I outstretched my hands, trying to remain calm.

"Take your jacket off, please?" He asked. I knew he was worried about me. I lowered my head and took off my jacket.

"Here. I did like you wanted." I said quietly, extending my hands in front of me, palms down.

"Puma, you understand what I'm getting at right now. It was unwise to fight the Traci's while your hands were severely cut up. Now, may I please see your arms?"

I sat at my bed quietly, like a child being punished by a parent. Connor knew what was best for me so I started carefully rolling my sleeves.

"Connor please..." I looked up at him, my eyes brimming with tears.

He sat next to me, taking my arm carefully and taking the end of my sleeve to pull it up. He examined my cuts carefully and left the room. Seconds later he returned with a medical kit, taking a cotton round with antiseptic and dabbed it onto my hands. They stung a bit, but I bit my lip as to not say "ouch".

When he was done, Connor took a gauze bandage and wrapped my hand in it. Then carefully repeated the same process with the other.

None of us said anything during that time. I was afraid to breathe when he was doing it. I thought he was going to be mad, but when he was done, he pulled my sleeves down and stood me up.

"Please Puma, don't do that again." Was all he said. I threw my arms around him muttering "I'm sorry" over and over. Awkwardly, Connor hugged me back. When I half slipped on my jacket, Dad walked in on us.

"Woah, did I miss some shit or what?" He asked. I looked at the room. It looked as if I was just about to take off my jacket. Did he think I was gonna have sex with him or something?

"Dad- ugh!" I backed away from Connor and slipped on my jacket. "Let's just go." We went downstairs and sat at the table and spoke for a while. After fifteen or so minutes Dad said he needed to go.

"So, uh- I'll leave you to your lovey-dovey shit. See you tomorrow. I still need to get drunker."

"Bye Dad!" I waved as he walked to his car, giving an eye roll. When he left the house became silent again. I didn't feel like talking, and Connor was studying my movements.

"Connor-" I said his name, but cut myself off.

(A/N: Ha. Cut myself off. Get it?)

He lifted his eyebrows a bit to let me know he was listening.

"Connor, thank you. You really didn't have to do that. I didn't have enough time this evening, and when we walked out-" Tears started to leak down my cheeks so I stopped talking and sat down on the couch. Connor stood up and sat next to me, trying to comfort me.

"You're too nice, androids aren't supposed to do that." I looked away.

"Yes, but I'm not the average android." Connor tried a smile.

"I'm glad you aren't," I said, leaning onto him. "I just don't want to be a burden for you."

"You are not a burden, Puma. I'll always have your back."

"That's what everyone says. No one ever stays."

"Have you tried androids?" Connor said with a smirk.

"Yep. Right now. And it's great." I have a half-hearted smile. "I'm gonna head to bed early today."

Connor stood up as well. "I'm going to make sure you don't do anything."

"You know I won't..." I said quietly. I don't even think he heard me.

I didn't even bother changing as I collapsed into my bed. I could only bother throwing off my jacket as I walked in. Connor walked around my bed and sat up on the other side. It was silent for a couple of minutes before I carefully pulled up my sleeves and felt the bandages. I bit down my lip to not cry. Because I deserved it. I was a pain in the ass for absolutely anyone who ever talked to me.

"How was today for you?" Connor asked.

I simply nodded, then forced myself to open my mouth. "It was alright. What about you?"

"It was nice to catch deviants again."

I turned to face him. "Connor, can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead." Connor turned to face me for a split second before staring out the window again.

"I want you to be honest with me... Are you a deviant?"

That question seemed to stun him.

"No. I'm not. What made you think that?"

"It's just... the way you were acting at the park."

Connor nodded understandingly, sliding down to lay next to me.

"Would you be able to answer the question your father wasn't able to?"

"Which is?"

"You two used to come there before what?"

"Before- before..." I wanted to answer Connor, I really did, but I didn't have the guts to say it.

That's because you're too weak for anything...

"We used to come there a lot before Cole died." I choked out. I realized how long it's been since I said the name out loud.

Connor was quiet. "I'm... I'm sorry to hear that your life is treating you this way."

"I'm used to it," I mumbled.

"I think... this is what people are supposed to do when someone is sad," Connor said, and before I had time to react he carefully put his arms around me and pulled me toward him. I was shocked at the action, but I put my hands around him as well. I felt comfortable, and safe in his firm grip. I fell asleep in his arms, it was the best that I've slept in a long time.

A/N: yaaay I told you I'd come around in a few days. The thing is, I'm posting stories when I have two chapters ahead to feel better about myself. So when I write the third chapter, I post the first. And it keeps going like that, etcetera. So when I'm done with the story I'll post the two final chapters at the same time. I have something planned for the endings, so stay tuned for that. But see you guys in a couple of days. Baiii!

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