Warning: Mention of child abuse

John couldn't sleep that night. Guilt gnawed at him. But also fear for his soul mate. If Mark hadn't cut his wrist, why was it bleeding? He tossed and turned in his bed, sometimes crying. Had he destroyed his relationship with Mark? Shit, he didn't want to say all that. He didn't want to offend Mark. The bassist sat up in his bed and sighed before getting up resolutely. He got dressed and left his apartment. John ran through the streets of London. He heard a distant church bell strike 4 a.m. John quickened his pace and made it to Mark's apartment block in record time. He ran up the stairs and unlocked the door to the apartment. The apartment was quiet. John went straight to the bedroom. He wanted to open the door, but it was locked. John bit his lower lip.

"Mark?" He knocked on the door. "Mark, darling. Please open up. I want to talk to you." John knocked louder on the door, assuming Mark was asleep.

"John?" A sleepy, quiet voice asked.

"Yes! It's me! Open the door, please. I want to talk to you." There was silence for a while.

"But I don't want to talk to you." The voice said quietly. John felt a punch in his stomach. Damn, that hurt.

"Mark. Honey. Please, listen to me. I'm so sorry for what I said. I was worried about you and...damn, I shouldn't have said that. Can you forgive me?" There was silence. "Mark? I'm so sorry. You told me about what your father did and...I met him myself. He's an asshole. And I'm so terribly sorry you had to go through that as a child. I...I overreacted. I didn't mean to hurt you. Honey, please believe me. I don't want to keep arguing with you. I'm so sorry I got mad. I love you." After another minute of silence, the answer came.

"Please go now, John." The singer said quietly, but louder than before. John assumed that the guitarist was standing directly across from him on the other side of the door.

"Mark. I'm sorry. Please."

"John, please go now." Mark started to sob as he said that. John's heart clenched tightly. He just wanted to pull the younger man into his arms and comfort him. All the scars that he hadn't even noticed during sex because the guitarist covered them with paint, all those horrible scars he wanted to kiss away. Hold him and cuddle with him. Make him understand that everything was okay.

"Don't cry, darling. I'm sorry. I love you." John said sadly.

"Please go." Mark whimpered weakly.

*

And so it happened that John Illsley stood at David Knopfler's apartment door at 5 a.m. and rang the bell. He had to ring the bell four times before the door opened. A very tired and a little angry David appeared. He was wearing jeans with the zipper unzipped, only the button was fastened. He also wore an oversized T-shirt.

"John?" He asked in surprise. John felt tears in his eyes. "What the hell happened? It's five in the morning."

"I messed up." John whimpered and looked at the smaller man with teary eyes.

"What do you mean?" David asked, dumbfounded, and let John into the apartment. John sat down on the sofa as tears ran down his cheeks. David went into the kitchen and made two cups of hot cocoa before sitting down next to John. He handed him a box of tissues.

"Isn't Mary here?" John sniffed and blew his nose.

"She went home in the evening. Her cat isn't very well." David said. "Why are you here? At five in the morning?"

"David, I messed up." John whispered and began to tell him the whole story. Knopfler sat quietly cross-legged on his sofa, holding the cocoa cup in his hands and listening attentively. John cried at the end and needed a little time to calm down.

"It really wasn't easy for him, you know?" David murmured quietly. "I wanted to help him so many times, but I never dared." He said ashamed. David stood up.

"Where are you going?" John asked, bewildered, and watched him go. Shortly afterwards, David came back with a large photo album. He put it on John's lap and sat down next to him.

"Look at the pictures. Then you'll know everything." John sniffed and opened the album with shaking fingers. They were black and white photos from Mark and David's childhood. The album began with beautiful pictures of laughing boys playing football, riding bicycles, climbing trees. But somewhere around the middle of the album, the pictures changed. David was still beaming and laughing in them. Mark's expression, however, darkened. In most of the pictures he had dark circles under his eyes. Wounds on his face. Partially a cast on his arm or leg. John turned the page and gasped. He stared at the picture with wide eyes. Mark could be seen. Obviously. His back was photographed. David stood next to him and held his hand. There were many dark welts on Mark's back. Although the picture was not colourful, John knew immediately that it was blood. He ran his trembling fingertips over the picture.

"Who was that?" He whispered quietly.

"Dad whipped him with his belt." David sighed and took a sip from his cup. "The older Mark got, the worse the beatings got."

*Flashback*

David could still remember it clearly. His father had shouted at Mark. Absolutely for no reason. Mark, determined and self-confident as he was, didn't put up with it. He shouted back. It didn't take long and Mark was already bent over the table. His father had pulled his belt from his waistband and started hitting the boy with it.

"You're useless!" He shouted at him, spitting in his face. Mark held onto the edge of the table, trembling, trying not to cry. He didn't want to give him that satisfaction. Louisia had pulled her other two children, David and Ruth, close to her. Ruth was crying in Louisia's dress and clinging to her mother while David watched with wide eyes. Mark gasped sharply as blood ran down his back. "You are a mistake of nature! You are a useless bastard who doesn't deserve to live!" Erwin shouted and continued hitting the boy. Mark couldn't take it anymore and started to cry. David watched with wide eyes. He had never seen his brother cry before.

"Mommy." Ruth whimpered and looked up at her mother. Louisia knew she couldn't win against her husband. And so she tried to at least protect her other two children. When the belt was soaked with blood, Erwin stopped and spat on the boy, who fell to the ground, powerless. The father turned around, took the car keys and disappeared from the house. David ran towards his brother, sobbing.

"Mark?" He whispered. The older boy lay limp on the floor. His shirt was torn and bloody. He raised his head and looked at his younger brother with teary eyes. His eye was swollen, a large bruise was forming on his cheekbone. "Mark?" David reached out to him, but the older boy simply fainted.

*

When Mark woke up, he was lying in his bed. He groaned weakly in pain. Ruth and David were sitting next to him. Both looked at him hopefully.

"Mark?" The girl asked and took his hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore." Mark croaked. David quickly handed him a glass of water. "What...what happened?"

"Can't you remember?" Asked the youngest worriedly.

"Dad hit me. But what happened after that?" Mark tried to sit up in bed, but fell back into the pillows, groaning in pain.

"Stay lying down and don't move too much. Mom will bring you painkillers." Ruth assured.

"Are you okay?" Mark gasped and looked at both of them worriedly.

"Yes. Don't worry." Mark smiled weakly. Ruth stroked Mark's wrist. Right above the soul mark. She was very worried about her younger brother.

"Why are you doing this?" Mark gasped and started to cough.

"What do you mean?" She asked in surprise. Mark looked down at his wrist.

"I'm not worth it." He breathed softly.

"Don't say that, little brother." She put a hand on his forehead. "Just because he tells you you're worthless doesn't mean it's true. You're special, okay? And your soul mate will love you."

"Nobody loves me." Mark said quietly, wincing as he bit his swollen lip.

"That's not true. Mom, me and David love you." David nodded quickly in agreement and looked worriedly at his older brother. "And John loves you too."

"John?" Mark breathed. Ruth smiled and lifted Mark's wrist so he could see it. Written there in cursive script was John E.I. "I hate him." Mark whispered.

"Don't ever say that again, can you hear me!" Ruth shouted in shock.

"I hate him." Mark whimpered and tears began to run down his cheeks. His body began to shake in pain.

"Don't ever say that again. He's your soul mate." Ruth said angrily.

"Because of him..." Mark swallowed hard and winced in pain. "Because of him, Dad hits me. He hates me because of him." Mark cried brokenly. "If...if that damn name wasn't on my skin, he would accept me."

"Don't say that." Ruth hugged him gently. Mark winced in pain. "John loves you, okay? It's going to be okay. Dad will realize he's wrong. He'll apologize. This will never happen again."

"Don't lie to me, big sister." Mark whispered weakly, but hugged her back.

*End of flashback*

John looked at David with teary eyes. David smiled weakly as John closed the album with shaking hands and placed it on the living room table. Tears ran down John's cheeks and he pulled his legs to his chest, trembling.

"Do you understand now?" David whispered sadly. "He's not crazy or...or mentally ill." David sighed. "He's just been through too much...too much pain. He let the soul mark bleed out because he hoped it would make him better. But it didn't. Dad still hated him afterwards. I don't know what's wrong with his wrist. Why it's bleeding. But if Mark told you it wasn't him, then you have to believe him. He loves you."

"Does he?" John whimpered. "He has every right to hate me."

"Do you think he would have let you fuck him if he didn't love you?" David rolled his eyes. John's face turned red. "He loves you. But he was trying to protect you. That's why he went through all that pain and bled the soul mark a second time. He wanted to protect you." John looked at the floor. "I know you didn't mean it when you argued with him yesterday. But... it still hurt him."

"What should I do, David?" John sobbed. "I don't know what to do."

"Talk to him?"

"He doesn't want to talk to me. I was with him before I came to you." David looked at the clock.

"That was at 4 a.m., John. Maybe he changed his mind?"

"I don't think so."

"Was he angry?"

"I don't know. I didn't see him!" John cried desperately, hugging his knees. "He spoke to me through the door."

"Did he sound angry?" John sighed and closed his eyes. "Did he?"

"No." John raised his head and looked at the younger man. "He just sounded sad and...destroyed. He didn't shout at me. He was very calm and asked me to leave. Do you understand? He asked me to. He didn't order me." David nodded a little.

"Then he wasn't angry with you."

"But..."

"Stop thinking so much, buddy." David put an arm around his shoulders. "Buy a box of chocolates or a bottle of whiskey and a bouquet of flowers or something and go to him."

"But he doesn't want to see me." John whimpered. "And I hurt him."

"Mark is a tough pal. He can take that easily."

"But I hurt his feelings." John whispered. "At the moment when he needed me the most." David sighed.

"Listen, I've never been in a relationship. Mary is my first girlfriend and we haven't had a fight yet, so I can't help you much more than make suggestions. Follow them, or think of something yourself, but John." David looked at him seriously. "Fix this shit. Mark's life has been shitty for so long. He deserves to be happy. And I swear to you." The younger man raised a threatening finger. "If you don't win him back and make him happy, things will get ugly." John giggled at the threat.