i used to think she crushed me.
and perhaps she did.
or maybe,
i crushed
myself
under the
weight
of
everything
i should be
but
wasn't.

whichever way it was, it's gone.
either i have taken her power to crush me
(unlikely, love. you are my everything)
or i have put down a little of my
crushed weight of expectations
dropped my (many) fears
about what i should be
and learned to like
who i am.
me.

because i am me.
and that is whoever i choose to be
and it's a relief that i am not crushed anymore
i am no longer trapped under the weight of
far too much pressure for any person
because, well, every teenager carries
the weight of the whole world
but for now, i am carrying
myself, and that is
enough for
anyone.

but it isn't her

it's me.

she doesn't control me.

i will finish this the way it began:
i am crushed.