BONUS CHAPTER // REFLECTING

"how can i possibly not crave you?"

//

Yoongi opens his window.

he opens it wide enough, pushing it as far as he can. the cold immediately welcomes him with open arms, dancing across his pale, bare arms, shifting through his messy, obscure locks. he steps onto the hard, tiled roof with his untidy converses, realising he needs to do his laces and he leaves a small gap of his window open so he can come back inside later.

the quiet boy rubs his chocolate coloured eyes, fuzzy when he opens them again. he's tired. he's sleepy. he doesn't want to think. these same eyes have seen his brother for the first time, multiple sunsets and sunrises, his friends' happiness, anger and sadness, Helena confidently speaking in front of a crowd- they've seen so much ... yet here they are.

he takes a seat on the familiar roof, shivers accompanying him on a lonely evening as the cold weather leaves a bitter taste. he came outside to feel the cold. to be alone. his short sleeved shirt and rolled up jeans feel everything as he shivers, nose turning red. if he catches a cold, he'll be in trouble.

Yoongi bends his legs, arms leaning on top of his knees- curling himself into his own body. he holds himself because, who else will? he looks around- the view isn't splendid, it not what he wants to see after a long day at work. seven hours of moving items, serving customers and being told what to do. he's been stuck inside all day. when he comes out of work, it's dark.

it's gloomy outside. sky now pitch black. the snow has cleared up. it won't be a white christmas this year he reckons. rain had previously fallen, clearing things away and it smells wet. the temperature has dropped, early afternoon now turning into a dusky day. the days haven't even started yet they're ending right in front of him. has there ever been a sunny christmas?- he thinks, biting on his lip.

as Yoongi looks out, his eyes prick with tingly water. he hears his young, caring and hard working parents and oblivious, changing younger brother downstairs. he feels the warmth from his fortunate home with a christmas tree, the stars awakening and the girl next door. is this what life is? is this all there is?

work, money, education-

it's nothing but survival. is this what i've been born for?

is this all to life?

Helena appears in the mystery's mind. an appealing memory of her approaching him unexpectedly with a hand written christmas card and a promising smile that says- i won't break your heart.

he wanted to say- please do. this time of the year is emotional for him. happy holidays huh?

Yoongi smiles, crying tears that he doesn't wipe away because yes, this is life and there is more to come. this is all life is...

//

happy holidays & merry christmas!
stay safe & lets be happy 💞