•If teachers bitch about you having food/drinks in class, ask them how the hell you're supposed to focus in class and do your work with nothing in your system.

•If teachers bitch about you having your phone out in class, don't fight back. Put it on your desk facedown and put your hand over it so they don't take it. If you're writing notes, tell them that you're writing notes for class because you type faster than you write and you look at your phone more than your notebook. If they try to take it, put it in your bag and say that you don't trust other people with it.

•If a teacher accuses you of talking back to them, say that you're just backing up your points in the argument.

•If a teacher is yelling at you, look at the space above their nose and between their eyes and stay cool, calm and collected. Don't cry, don't get mad, don't be scared. To them, it will look like you're not phased by them and that you're looking them in the eyes. This may make them slightly uncomfortable. Continue making fake eye contact until they either shut the fuck up or back down, and don't say anything unless they tell you to.

•If a teacher bitches to you about talking to your friends, say sorry and say that you were trying to work together to get the paper done.

•Don't mumble under your breath at the teacher. Learn swear words in a different language and mumble them under your breath instead. If they ask what you said, just say that you were talking to yourself.