"Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas." - Peg Bracken

DEDICATION: ChocoDarling23 for being so cute <3

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"Mahna Mahna, do doo be-do-do!"

"Is that... the Muppet song?"

"Mhmm! My mom used to play the song at a low volume before I went to sleep, and put it on infinite repeat. Then she'd hide her phone in one of my drawers, so the Muppet song would play creepily in the background of my nightmares."

"But your dad–"

"–Didn't realise until he caught her rifling through my underwear drawer six months later. By then, it was too late. I'll forever be haunted by Muppets."

"Geez, I thought my childhood was a nightmare."

"Are you kidding? You used to sleep on the ground!"

"..."

"Oh no."

"How do you know about that?"

"Uh– um, look! A tree! Right over there! Looky here, it's so dead!"

"Who told you?"

"Isn't the tree so beautiful? With its... dead branches... and stuff..."

"You'll meet the same fate as the tree if you don't tell me who told you!"

"I-If I tell you, do you promise not to castrate the theoretical person who theoretically told me about your childhood?"

"Would you theoretically mind if said theoretical person was suddenly found with a knife protruding from his back?"

"Uh, this is theoretical, right?"

"Of course it is, dumbo. I already know who told you."

"Y-You do?"

"That's a plot twist for ya, isn't it?"

"We're not in a book!"

"Emphasis on the twist."

"..."

"..."

"Are you- are you angry?"

"Mahna Mahna, do doo be-do-do!"

"What the fu-"

"Mahna Mahna, do do-do do-do!"

"Yep, she's angry."