"I think it's best if we get the doctor to stay at the house to keep an eye on your vitals," Silas said as we returned to the house. "He will be able to do regular sonar scans to check the growth and health of the babies."

I nodded absentmindedly. I wanted to get as far away from him as possible, I was still too hurt to be near him. It was my own fault for allowing myself to feeling something for him. In no way had he encouraged any of it. I only had myself to blame. I had fallen in love with someone incapable to loving me back.

It wasn't like he had led me on. Quite the opposite. He had been honest about my role in his life from the start, I was the naive one that had read more in his actions and allowed my heart to bloom from it.

Now it was back to the hard reality of the situation, of what I meant to him and what he should mean to me, so there would be no misunderstandings.

"He will be scheduled to check you throughout the day."

He was worried. I could see it despite his usual calm exterior. And that escalated my own fears that I would not survive this pregnancy.

But after my visit to the compound I was more than determined to do it without having to go through what I had seen during my visit.

"I know the visit to the compound was upsetting."

I couldn't even look at him while he spoke. Instead I studied the wall to the side of him as I worked to keep my temper under control.

"But I had to make sure you understood what might happen if this pregnancy takes a turn for the worse."

"Why do you do that?" I asked, angrily. "Why do you look at the worst possible outcome? Why can't you be positive about this?"

I needed him to tell me everything would be okay, I needed him to do that. What I didn't need was for him to show me the worse case scenario. I was scared enough, this was only adding to it and increasing my stress level.

"I'm a realist Avery." His eyes found mine and I couldn't look away. "It's my job to manage the risks."

I didn't want to know about the risks, I didn't want to focus on the odds that were stacked against me.

"I'm going upstairs," I said. I didn't stay to hear anymore.

He stopped me with a hand to my wrist. "You can't bury your head in the sand Avery."

I glared at him resentfully. At this stage that's all I wanted to do. I needed to figure a way to get through this and staring at the things that could go wrong would not help me.

"You are strong and young. That counts in your favor but this is a very risky pregnancy. One baby would have been manageable but two. We have no idea what you're about to face."

I swallowed.

"I will do everything I need to to ensure you and the babies survive."

My limit for realism was full. I didn't believe I could stand another moment of it. I pulled my arm free.

I got away from him as quickly as possible and closed the door to my bedroom. Leaning against the door I inhaled a deep breath and released it.

There was a butterfly feeling in my stomach and I looked down in awe as I realized the babies were moving. It felt too soon for that type of thing but this wasn't a normal pregnancy.

Slowly, I settled my hand on my stomach and felt the babies move again. I smiled to myself. Despite my complicated feelings for Silas, I felt only love for the babies I carried. It only intensified the fear that I would lose them.

For their safety I would do whatever I needed. Even if it meant going to the compound and being kept asleep for the remainder of the pregnancy. I would do all of it, to ensure their survival.

I tried to keep optimistic, very aware that any stress I experienced wasn't good for the pregnancy and I was determined to ensure I wouldn't need to be sedated like the other pregnant Sires to survive.

It was that fear that made me follow every one of Silas' suggestion. From staying on bed rest and keeping my activity to the minimum, to drinking only from him to help strengthen me. I did everything I could to ensure a safe pregnancy but none of it stopped my deterioration with each passing day.

No matter what I did, I still felt debilitating sickness every morning. The tea would help but as the pregnancy progressed, it helped less and less. Until I didn't even bother with it anymore.

I became too weak to drink directly from Silas so he got the doctor to set up a feeding tube with his blood.

Silas was there every step of the way. When ever I needed anything he was there. When I was fevered, he was there to press a cold facecloth to my forehead to try and ease the heat. When I felt so sick I felt like I was going to die he was there to whisper soothing words of encouragement.

I saw a side to Silas I never would have believe existed. But I was torn between whether he was doing this for the babies or for me. There was no way to know for sure.

Each day that passed the pain worsened. It was like my body was fighting against the pregnancy instead of embracing it. As the babies grew and strengthened, I weakened.

The doctor and Silas hovered nearby but I didn't have the energy to try and concentrate on what they were saying. All that mattered was the internal pain I was dealing with and the sickness that seemed to worsen with each day.

My survival was in each labored breath, nothing else mattered.

"She is worsening at an alarming rate." The doctor's voice was grave.

That didn't sound good. I wanted to ask what was wrong but I didn't have the energy to talk.

"She needs to be put under." I heard the doctor whisper harshly to Silas who was staring at me. "We have no choice. If we don't she will not survive and you will lose the babies as well."

Although I was awake and taking it all in, my head was too fuzzy to fully understand what they were talking about. All I could concentrate on was the internal pain and my inability to function like I had before.

The smallest action took too much energy to complete. Just keeping my eyes open took more energy than I seemed to be able to muster.

I closed my eyes and the next time I came around I was in the car. My breathing was labored, the pain in my swollen stomach was agonizing. My head rested on Silas' shoulder as I moaned. His arm tightened around me. I didn't even have the energy to ask where we were going. Deep down I knew and I was in no state to fight it. And even if I was, I wasn't sure I would.

Not once had I imagined it would be this difficult but there came a point at which I knew that if I continued the way I was, I wouldn't survive.

I had promised myself I would do whatever I needed to do to survive and at this point it entailed doing the worst possible thing. But that was how much I loved my babies. I would do anything for them, including being sedated so they had the best chance for survival.

The next time I surfaced from the darkness I felt a pin prick as the doctor and nurses stood over me. I slowly allowed my head to fall to the side and I saw Silas. He was talking to another doctor. For the first time I saw fear in his eyes and I knew the situation wasn't good.

The stuff they gave me seemed to take affect and I felt like I was floating as the pain eased. I groaned, trying to focus my eyes on Silas who stood watching with a grave look.

When the darkness came and the pain disappeared completely.