I guess I was to weak then. I couldn't just rid the world of my existence just yet. Maybe it was my urge to live or even say goodbye, but I just couldn't do it.

~~~~

There's no one there that knows. No one knows. That's my excuse, but really no one cares. They don't want to stay if I'm not happy. So to make them stay, I act happy. No one likes crybabies.

I'm crying now.

But these aren't sad tears, they're tears of joy.

If I convince myself, will that really make them stay? Reena has Hoseok, she doesn't need me and he doesn't need me either. Seokjin will be graduating soon. I'll be all alone.

But I won't. Reena will always be there for me. I gave her everything, she can't leave.

No she won't. She takes everything you want. She took your necklace, your boyfriend and she even took Hoseok. How can you trust her.

I can't let these thoughts control my life.

But they're not controlling me. They are just making me realize that I'm worthless. I'm only going to be left. Just because I give them everything doesn't mean they will stay. I'm just realizing they hate me. They really hate me. That all hate me. They would be better off if I died.

That would make everyone stay right?

I should just kill myself. I should just trust myself. I'm the only one that will stay.

But I'm weak. I'm too weak to kill myself. I can't jump off the cliff, I'm not ready. I can't do it. Cause then I'll be gone too.

~~~~

I told you it will be different.