J A C K ' S B R O K E N H E A R T

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S O N G

MY EX'S BEST FRIEND - MACHINE GUN KELLY

also if anybody wanted to vibe and listen to mgk with me I'm down

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J U L Y 1 9 9 8

I sat on the bench, money I've saved up to pay back Royce for everything sitting in my pocket. "I'm sure he'll come over soon, Kel..." Jack argues. I sigh and mumble out "It's been an hour.."

He takes a deep breath. "I've known a Royce for a while, and I'll tell you one thing, he's never late to something without a reason. I mean in high school he would skip, but now he doesn't do anything."

"Yes but he's probably hanging out with Koa..." I mumble. Laying completely flat on the bench.

"I'm gonna be honest with you, Kelca. We both now I love Koa the way she is, but I know what she's gonna do to Royce."

I turn to him and furrow my eyebrows while I stretch. "What do you mean?"

"Well..." he starts, looking out at the ocean and hearing the splashing waves. "Once upon a time I had the biggest crush on Koa. Like.. I was in love. Got excited every time she walked by. I stared at her constantly. I laughed with her constantly, so many different things. But then she met Royce in Sophomore year. He looked different then he does now but he was the cutest boy in 95'"

"No matter what he looked like though. He intrigued Koa. She's very easily distracted and excitable and when he wore dirty clothes and stayed In his own world Koa didn't understand it. Royce then lost his virginity to her at age 17. He had known her for around 6 months. They say they don't know a lot about each other but they do. Koa just didn't care enough about what he opened up to her with. He found no problem with it though like all the other guys. She has him on a leash while he's thinking of her with the idea that they would have the cutest love story. He's thinking that because you taught him what a girl deserves. Which is fucking respect."

I smile a little.

"He can't see what's in front of him, Kel. I know you've only known him for a while but when you've heard abt him and his personality for years. You're perfect for each other."

"How do you know that? I mean he obviously doesn't want that-"

"I know it because Royce was so messed up that he doesn't think of anything that he's getting for himself in the right way. He still has a pile of cash from his parents death stacked up because the only things he gets are long term. Like his bike or his truck or his apartment. You're not... youre not long term enough in his mind"

I swallow, deciding to finally speak my mind, "I know you're right, but I don't want you to be. I want him to now that he can invest in me because if he needs me to stay, he can just fucking ask! I'm eighteen in September. I'm almost out. I would come back immediately if I did have to leave. But I'm just his free trial of something he didn't really want but only got because it was free."

Jack looks at me with furrowed, sad eyebrows and a small frown. "Kelca you know that isn't true.." he mumbles, looking at me with intent.

"How is it not? Face the facts, the only way I'm staying is if He asks my parents to keep me here. But.... he wouldn't do that. He's trying not to get attached to me!"

I say.

Jack shakes his head and opens his mouth to talk, but looks around and shuts his mouth quickly, seeing Royce walk up behind me.

I put my fake face on and sigh, turning my head to look at him.

"You're here!"

"Of course, I would never just leave you here." He says with a small smile.

I grab onto his face and smile back, "you promise Jewwly?"

He nods, "I promise" a smile raised onto my face.

"Good..." I mumble, leaning my head back up and looking at Jack, who is already staring me in the eyes. He sighs and I swallow.. I may have told him too much...

𖣔

I yawn, sitting in between Royce's legs on the couch. "Gimme some.." I mumble. And Royce's fingers come near my mouth, pressing the blunt to my lips again and portioning it for me. "No more, sweetheart," he mumbles into my soft hair, his lips almost touching my necks. He takes the blunt away from my mouth and I breathe out away from his face.

"But what if I want more, Jewwly?" I ask lightly, he sighs. "Then you'll be too high to make any good decisions, and I love sober you too much to see you like that." He says.

I groan.

Koa and Jack were out getting food from the pizza place down the street, so I look outside his window for a second at the dark sky before flipping over. We were still under a wool blanket but it was now resting on my hips as I straddled him.

I press my hands down on his lower stomach and smile, "So what if I'm high-"

Royce swallows, looking my body up and down while his hands rub back and forth on my hips.

"I'm already giving you this illegally sweetheart, you should be thanking me."

I groan, my head shooting back as I sigh.

"You're so boring-"

Cutting me off his hand quickly blows out the blunt, throws it on the table and grabs my neck, pulling me in.

"Is this too boring for you, Kelca?" He asks breathily, his hot breath hitting my face as I blush.

I bit my lip, his were so close to mine that it made them seem like they were calling my name.

His hand that was rubbing back and forth on my hip grabbed onto it instead, and then started grinding me against him.

"Royce-" I mumble nervously, a pit forming in my stomach. But it's not like I didn't want this...

He smirks a little, leaning in and heading his lips against mine, his nose pressed against my cheek.

This matched nothing he was saying, about forgetting the kiss, but if he didn't want to now... I was okay with that.

Slowly I pressed my lips to his, and his hand squeezed my throat lightly.

I start grinding myself against him alone, and I moan into his mouth lightly. He stops for a second and swallows, letting out a deep growl, "fuuuck..." he mumbles.

I smile against him, "Jesus Christ you're so hot..." Royce mumbles, spinning us so I was under him.

But I press my lips together, knowing what I'll do to get him back.

I grab his head pulling him in. He kisses my neck, his hand levitating to under my boob. I smile, "I'm hungry..." I mumble.

And quickly I slip out from under him. He looks his t me while I walk to the kitchen, slightly confused and a little humored. He laughs a little.

"You're a fuckin lil slut huh?" He asks, knowing I would like hun degrading me. "And what are you gonna do about it?" I ask, leaning against the counter.

He walks over and slaps my ass, leaning in so his lips were behind my ear.

"Nothing..."

And Koa and Jack walk back in.

A little while later I'm in Royce's arms again on the couch.

"I'm kinda tired, Jewwly.." I mumble, switching to lay on my stomach and wrapping my arms around his torso. "Okay, baby..." he mumbles, kissing the top of my head.

I take in his scent, relaxing as I hear Koa flirt with him. Who's in his fucking arms? Me.... so take that Koa.

She knows I love her, she's funny and sweet, but why is she so flirty with Royce? I mean.. it's not like I care or anything. But... it kinda hurts my feelings... y'know?

She had 15 years with him, I didn't...can't she give me this time?

Especially when he wants his to be all we have together... he doesnt seem to wanna fight for us. I... I really like him. But I don't know if he wants to like me... or if he trusts me

I let out a sigh as his fingers brush through my hair. And I felt my heart explode into glitter.

It was like the glitter went through the air and surrounded us completely, swirling around us like a tornado and hiding us from everybody else. All I wanted was to lean up and kiss his lips, but that wasn't gonna happen...

It couldn't. No matter how much I wanted it to.

Cause Koa was right there... and he probably wanted Koa. Koa was his "priorities" right?

That's why he stopped immediately when Koa walked in, or why he slept next to her...

Or why he's flirting back with her.

When I woke up he was gone, and everything around me was dark. God... I was still high. I yawn, pulling the blanket off of my body that Royce put over me. It was completely dark, and by the looks of it Koa and Jack has left.

I was a little sad I missed them of course, but I still was happy I was at Royce's. My parents were fine with my sleeping here anytime, I mean of course they would be, they never talk to me.

I've said it before but it's like I'm a coworker to them.

I'm just there when I need them... they don't really care what I do or who I'm with or what happens. They just care that I'm at their convenience...

I tiredly walk over to Royce's room, wondering why he left to his room and didn't stay next to me. I open the door and waddle over by his side, his blonde hair covering him and his tattooed arm and hand hanging out of the blanket.

It was cold.

I wiggle him a little bit before getting under the blanket in his arms. "Hey baby..." he mumbles in a grumble, his voice deep. I smile, "Hi Jewwly..." I mumble back.

"Fuck what are you doing here Kel?" He asks lowly, putting his finger under my chin and pushing my face up.

"You left me on the couch..." I mumble, putting my head back down and snuggling in again.

"Kel, Koa is in here.." he mumbles.

I was right about him wanting to sleep next to her...

I swallow, pushing myself back and falling onto the ground a little. "Fuck I'm so sorry..." I mumble.

"No Kel you don't get it we didn't do anythi-"

"No I get it I'm sorry. I should've not came in here/ it's fine I get it you fucked her. I should just leave-"

"We gotta be quiet.. I didn't fuck her I promise-"

"I'm just gonna go-"

"No Kel please don't go-"

"It's okay-"

"Fine." He mumbles, grabbing me by my waist. "Than I'll fucking take you home."

"No get off of me Royce." I mumble, turning away and opening the door.

He grabs onto my waist again and picks me up, throwing me over his shoulder as we walk out. "Shut the fuck up, Kelca. If you want to leave I'm coming with you and I want you to hear me. I didn't fuck her. I wouldn't fuck her. I haven't fucked anybody in seven weeks. The seven weeks since I met you."

I sigh as he pushes me against the wall, putting me down from his arms. "Im not gonna do that while your here.. I don't know why it just makes me feel disgusting when I know that you're out there."

I swallow, looking up at him through my eyelashes. "Thank you, Jewwly.... but... but will you take me home? I don't wanna be here while Koa is here. I mean she's sleeping In your bed! I probably won't be able to fall asleep without you, Royce."

"We could sleep out on the couch?... I'm really sorry sweetheart she just told me she was gonna come in and I couldn't really do anything. I should've just stayed on the couch with you baby but I didn't want you to be uncomfortable and we didn't have the blanket over us so what if you got cold?" He says, running his fingers through my hair.

"Fuck I'm still high.." I mumble, my brain kind of foggy as I push my head into his chest. I was still able to make decisions, but something was still a little off. Koa was still sleeping in his room.

"Would it still be okay if I kissed you?" He mumbles, putting his forehead against the top of my head.

I swallow, "Why would you want to?" I ask lowly. He swallows, licking his lips and watching my face while he looks at me.

He was so ominous, with his tattoos and his blonde hair and his abs, but god it's so hot. "Because you're beautiful, and I want to really bad.."

"But you don't even want me to tell you how I feel about you.."

"Cause I don't want to get too attached... but god I want to kiss you so bad. So so bad..."

I reach my hand up and run my fingers through his hair, slowly lifting my head up too.

He looks at me and sighs, "Fuck... you're so beautiful.." he mumbles, grabbing my chin lightly and pushing his lips against mine.

I kiss him back lightly while he slowly pushed me back into the wall instead of against his chest. His hand that was on my chin grabs onto my hip and his right hand is pushed on the side of my head.

I run my finger through his hair as his left hand picks up my thigh so that my legs are wrapped around him.

"Fuck..." he groans against my lips, and my stomach twists. I take a deep shaky breath as his lips move against mine.

His lips move again, down my cheek and down my neck. He sucks along my neck and I moan lightly, "You know I want to hear you but we gotta be quiet."

I swallow, covering my mouth as he sucks along my neck.

"Royce..." I moan out lightly and he smiles against my neck. "Fuck you're so beautiful. You're just so perfect, Kel." He mumbles.

I swallow. pushing his head back and kissing his lips again. "Then tell me what you want me to do... you say you wanna forget and it's obvious you like Koa Royce-"

"I promise.. I promise I don't like Koa. She just... she's important to me and I wanna make her happy. But... but you're different. I can't keep you out of my mind Kel... and I always can do that to others. You... make me wanna cry everyday knowing that you have to leave me."

"I won't... I promise. I'll find a way." I mumble.

"You really promise? I'll help you-"

"Of course."

"We will figure this out Jewwly. Just tell me when you know what to do."

"Of course."

I stay in his arms for a second, kissing his chest.

"I need to go, Royce..."

"Please don't..."

I shake my head, "I gotta Jewwly."

"Then let me take you home. I can sleep with you but I have to come back before Koa wakes up."

"It's okay I mean I would love that but it would put so much more stress-"

"No it's okay, I want to. I really want to come and hold you all night." He smiles. I push him back.

Fuck.

His blonde hair is all over his forehead and he has a small sweet smile. His nose was sharp and the small light that was left on in the corner is lighting up the side of his face.

He was so beautiful.

And fuck it I think I love him....