A L T E N D I N G (1)

this ending takes place after the chapter "T E E T H C O V E R E D I N R E D"

she never died. and didn't have the pre existing condition that helped kill her.

—

K E L C A   P O V

I'm leaving.

I'm leaving tomorrow.

I'm sat in a hospital room.... after thinking so strongly that I was gonna die. It felt like death... it really did. Water in your lungs and feeling limp like you can't do anything.

I was so scared... but also so so calm.

I didn't have a reason to live anymore, I was just... nothing.

I have never had a life like others, and maybe my existence was just to please Royce, to fix him. I mean there have to be throw away characters...

And I was just one of them, and Koa was the main.

My mom is already gone, she left the hospital and took the soonest plane away. Dad followed, trying to get her back.

I don't feel very good....

I mean I could live without my parents and be fine, I don't really care about them that much.... but him.

He hurt....

I don't want to say his name, I feel like he's in my head and if I say it it'll summon him. It'll make me rethink all the memories and think of him...

He was so pretty, so pretty I wanted to cry every time I looked at him. He was just perfect, and so sweet.

He was so happy when I first met him, and near the end. I guess in the middle I made him sadder than usual... or he just wanted to keep the fact that him and Koa were together away from me.

My stomach churns when thinking of her as I stare up at the white lights. Thinking. Thinking maybe too hard.

He loved her..... he didn't love me....

My doctor sighs, "Get out of you head Kelca, I need to talk to you about something."

She sits at the edge of my bed and sighs, "Darling you were screened for many things and we took many tests and you're seemingly okay. I know you want to leave, so just in case anything happens we're gonna have you stay here tonight and then go home tomorrow alright? Only a day or two left, and then your mom has called and said she'll buy a plane ticket for you to go to her location. She'll be able to call you soon."

I nod and she smiles, "You okay Dear?"

I swallow, "is there a guy here.... you would know him his name is-"

"Royce?" She asks.

There it is, his name, I wanted to say it but god does it hurt. "Yes..." I mumble and she laughs, "The guy has tried every single way to get into this room... we let him in while you were sleeping once and he just laid next to you and cried."

"Can you make him leave?"

She sighs, "Well if he does another thing wrong I can but... he hasn't slept for days, Kelca. I think he should be in the hospital for his own reasons..."

I swallow, checking the clock. It was eleven pm... only one more sleep and I could leave.

"He cheated on me, Angie.." I mumble.

Angie was my nurse, a wonderful lady with a shaved head, dark skin, and soft touch unlike any other.

"I'm so sorry..." she mumbles and I lick my lips.

"Angie..." I say, a tear slipping down my cheek. "I don't have anybody... only my mom.. can I.. can I talk to you about it?" I ask and she's smiles.

"Of course, love."

She sits at the edge of my bed, and as the clock ticks I start to tell her about everything. About how I met him and how it felt when he touched me and how sweet he was... and how he broke my heart.

"And right before I had to come here again... he told me he never expected forgiveness, but to under how sorry he was. When the blood started coming up, I was so scared... I thought it was the end and I told him I loved him. And I stopped being able too so.. I lost control over everything but I still heard him crying... saying he loved me. He thought I was gone, and his reaction..."

"It made me think he really loved me. Of course, he doesn't tho.. he wouldn't do this to me if he did.."

"Honey... look that story is truly heart wrenching.. but I have to say it. He does love you.. and I know cheating hurts, my husband did it too! I divorced him immediately and I don't regret it one bit... but. He told me everything about you too, I was out on my lunch break and he asked me about you. He asked me to stay with him, so that he he could talk to somebody. He's a social guy, he's gotta talk to survive and... talk he did." She says with a laugh.

He always had a problem with rambling...

"But.. the point is that I have never seen a boy talk with suck remorse and regret than he did. He talked about you for hours, every lunch break I had. It's safe to say he loves you... and I don't think no matter what happens he'll ever stop."

I swallow, putting my knees up to my chest, "Well it doesn't matter... I love him too and as much as I hate him I can't leave without saying goodbye. I love his sisters too, they're my first friends and I have to say bye to them." I mumble, but I can't keep thinking about him.

About him with his legs up to his chest like me, leaning his head on the back of his chair and rambling on..

I missed him.

And I absolute and full heartedly hated him and what he did to me...

"Well I have to leave, love-"

"Can you turn off the lights and send him in.." I mumble.

"Are you sure?" She asks in surprise, her eyebrows raised.

I lay down, pulling the blanket over myself and nodding. "yeah.."

I just didn't want to be alone anymore... and I didn't qhave mom or dad... I just wanted to feel safe and he's the only other person that made me feel like that.

I didn't want to talk to him, or hear and explanations... I just wanted him to hold me.

I wish I could laugh with him and act like it didn't happen but I can't. Because I still get nightmares of him pumping into her... of her body pressed against his.

I was so alone...

—

R O Y C E  P O V

I tap my leg over and over, closing my eyes for some sort of satisfaction in the sleep department but I just couldn't. Don't get me wrong, I've tried, but I just can't sleep.

Not without her.

It was painful, I'd been here for about a week. Thankfully I explained the situation to the adoption agency and they said I could reschedule the test whenever I'm ready.

And she hasn't let me see her once...

I can't get angry at her, but I just want her to know that I love her... she never heard me say it. I fully and totally love her with ever piece of my heart. It'll never stop.

"Royce.." Angie's voice says lightly and I groan. "god... I almost fell asleep.." I say lightly, leaning forward and putting my elbows on my knees.

"Well.. you'll wanna be awake for this, hun. It's time."

My head snaps up, "Is she going home? It's so late-"

"She wants you to go see her, Royce."

I stand up quickly, grabbing my jacket and looking down at Angie. "Where is she? Does she wanna talk or- is she okay?"

"I don't know, Royce. You'll have to ask her, she in room 207. I trust you to get there-"

But I'm already gone. I was speed walking down the hallway, taking a turn to the two hundreds and seeing her door. It was a left open just a crack, and it was completely dark inside.

It didn't take much courage to walk in, especially given how badly I wanted to see her.

But seeing her was embarrassing.

She knows what I did to her...

She knows how disgusting I really am...

"Kel..?" I ask as I walk in. Her knees are up to her chest, and she just lets out a heavy breath.

"Don't talk... just... lay here please?" She asks.

Her voice was vulnerable and shakey..

"yeah.." I mumble, closing the door and walking over to her. "yeah ok.." I mumble again.

I slip onto the bed and under the blanket with her.

Her head goes on my chest and her hand lays there too.

And then she started whimpering, lightly crying as her tears soaked through my shirt.

I didn't care though, I needed more tear stained shirts... I needed more things that reminded me of her...

I needed her.

I kiss her temple, and slowly pull her further into me.

I almost lost her...

Well I mean, I did lose her... I cheated on her and she hates me...

But I didn't lose her forever. I'll do everything to get her back...

"I'm so scared..." she mumbles, and I swallow. "I'm all alone again... and I almost died and you don't love me-"

"I do love you..."

She shakes her head, "you.. you cheated on me... with the one girl I was worried about... you broke me. And yet my dumb ass still can't feel safe around anybody but you and I need you to fall asleep because.. because my mom is gone and I'm so alone and I'm scared." She says, swallowing before letting out a sob.

"I just wanted you to love me like I loved you... you played with my heart so much-"

"I wish I didn't, Kel.... I wish so much that I could go back and spend all of my time with you. That I could go back and just.. be with you... but I can't."

I throw my head back in the pillows and sigh.

I pull her up and squeeze her against me. I didn't wanna let go again...

Last time I did she almost died...

"Just... just go to bed. I don't wanna look at you." She mumbles.

And it stung.

It hurt so bad... how I turned into this after being the most beautiful, genuine guy in the world to her.

I fucked it up.. bad...

I fell asleep immediately though, and when I woke up it was to Angie clashing some bed pans together.

"Miss Kellinoals wake up!!" She says, and then she remembered I was in here.

Kelca groaned digging her face into me like a pillow.

"What's wrong, Angie? She wants to sleep more-"

"Her mom found a ticket... and today is her day out... but her mom found her a ticket for three days from now. Which means she'll have to find a place to stay because the hospital is kicking her out. And she only has so much time in a day-"

"I'll house her." I say quickly, "Just... just let her sleep. She said I was the only way she felt safe and.... She seems more happy now than the last time I saw her asleep."

Angie sighed, looking at the clock.

"Royce is she's not up by 12 you're toast-"

"I'll wake her up don't worry, Ang." I say, scratching her scalp and running my fingers through her hair. She leaves, the door closed once again and the light off accept for a window to the hallway that shined brightly.

I couldn't risk not waking her up at 12... is I just sat there with her in my arms. I kissed the top of her head every once in a while...

Because I knew as soon as she woke up.. it would all change