Chapter 7 #smashedsrs

I woke up the next day with notifications that Kajina Zorca followed me on Twitter and Instagram. She also added me on Facebook. My groggy eyes widened a fraction.

Pressure at kaba na magkahalo ang nagtulak sa akin na i-followback din siya at i-accept agad-agad. Ora mismo, walang kurap! I mean, she's Kajina Zorca!

Pero teka! Uno and I don't even follow each other. Paano kung napansin niya 'yon? Mabibisto na ba talaga kami? Why did his sister have to follow me? Break na rin naman kami. Oh, yes, tama! Hindi na kami connected sa social media since break na nga kami.

And most importantly, not that we were really together too!

I spent almost half an hour overthinking what happened. Naisipan ko pa ngang banggitin kay Uno kaso hindi ko na itinuloy. Because our connection already ended last night. I think that I shouldn't be contacting him anymore.

Baka i-unfollow na rin naman ako ni Ate Kajina kapag nasabi na ni Uno na wala na kami. Kaya naman hindi ko na masyadong inisip ulit ang tungkol doon ng mga sumunod na oras.

Ginugol ko lang ang mga sumunod na araw sa panonood ng TV series at movies. Binisita rin naming pamilya ang puntod ni Ate Riva. The way her area was incredibly clean tells how frequent her visitors are.

Tanghali ng December 31, nagkaroon ako ng mini photoshoot session sa kwarto ko. I wanted to feel a little sexy so I wore a lace bralette in that photo. I posted it right away on my Instagram with a caption revealing my excitement for later. New Year's Eve.

The flood of comments from some acquaintances and relatives carved a smile on my face. Napanguso ako nang makitang nag-comment ng tatlong fire emojis si Ate Kajina.

Naisip ko tuloy kung nabanggit na ba ni Uno na break na kami? Hindi na rin kasi talaga kami nakapag-usap mula noong Christmas Eve, eh. Siguro naman nabanggit niya na, 'no?

Nabura nga lang ang ngiti ko nang magawi sa Twitter.

Zeo @acerbolizeo
I dont fucking see the relevance of that photo kung excited sa NYE. Lol. Hilig lang talaga magpakita ng katawan eh no

Malakas ang kutob ko na ako ang tinutukoy niya. Napapikit ako nang mariin. Nakakairita. Pakialam niya ba sa gusto kong i-post sa account ko?

And he had always been like that. I do know why he was always strict with my clothing. Ang tipikal na sagot diyan ay para hindi mabastos at dahil sa possession. I do know, but I don't get why would he result to forbid me from wearing what I want.

Sa puntong ito, alam kong naabot ko na ang rurok ng aking pagtitimpi. Besides... the year is about to change. So I didn't hesitate blocking him on my social media accounts.

I didn't unfriend nor unfollow him when we broke up because I thought that I should be casual towards him. We are exes after all. But if he'd be like this for so long, I might as well block him without feeling guilty at all. And I just did.

"Wala pang alas dose, ubos na 'yang mga prutas," pasaring ni Kuya Rivo nang kumuha ng pitcher sa ref at naabutan akong nilalantakan ang mga bilog na prutas sa mesa.

I rolled my eyes. "Paki mo ba..."

Nakatingin siya sa akin habang umiinom kaya nahuli ako. Inilayo niya ang baso mula sa mamasa-masa niyang mga labi. Napasapo siya sa dibdib. "Ang taray naman."

My lips jutted out. "Sorry..." Kumagat ako ng malaki sa apple. "Wala kasi akong nakikita na strawberry dito, eh. An' duga."

Inisang lagok ni Kuya ang natitirang tubig sa baso at humakbang palapit sa akin. Nakangiti niyang ginulo ang buhok ko sa tuktok ng ulo. Kumuha siya ng orange.

"Bilhan na lang kita next year," he said and left me.

"Anong next—" naputol ang atungal ko nang mapagtantong next year na nga talaga bukas.

Umayos na ulit ako ng upo at tumulala na lang habang inuubos ang apple. I thought of my New Year's resolution which I was sure I won't completely fulfill. Nasa kalagitnaan ako ng pagpapanggap nang tumunog ang cellphone kong nakapatong lang sa mesa katapat ko.

My eyebrows knitted as soon as I saw Uno's name as the caller. I didn't know what was it for because it ended in a flash. Napalitan naman ng text.

Uno Zorca:
Nasa labas ako ng bahay nyo. Can you come out?

Bumagal ang pagnguya ko sa apple. Huh, what? Outside? Napatuwid ang likod ko habang nakaupo. I also wiped out the apple juices around my lips with the heel of my hand.

"Mommy, 'yoko na." Inabot ko kay Mommy ang apple ko nang magkasalubong kami.

She accepted it but she looked confused. "Where are you going, Rivi? Tulungan mo akong mag-asikaso."

"Saglit lang ako, Mommy. Sunod ako!"

Nakawala naman ako kay Mommy. Hindi rin ako napansin ni Kuya Rivo na nasa sala at abalang mag-rewatch ng Brooklyn Nine-Nine sa flatscreen. I tiptoed towards our locked gates and did my best to silently open it. Namataan ko agad ang Civic ni Uno.

Kumatok ako sa window ng passenger seat. Bumukas ito nang kaunti kaya kumapit ako sa handle at ako ang nagtuloy magbukas. I bent my body to peek inside. Uno was seating on the driver seat with his arms crossed.

Nagkatinginan lang kami at walang sinabi.

I hopped in because something encouraged me to. Wala naman siyang naging komento kaya ayos lang siguro. Tahimik ko rin na isinarado ang pinto bago siya muling tiningnan.

"H-Hi? Why are you here?"

"Sabi ni Ate suyuin daw kita..." he answered.

"Huh?"

Huminga siya nang malalim. "After Christmas, she asked about you everyday. Gustong-gusto ka. Nalungkot akong sabihin agad na wala na tayo. Kaya kasasabi ko lang kanina."

"Uhm... then?"

"I told her that we had a misunderstanding and then we broke up. Nagalit sa'kin."

"What? Why?"

"She went like this..." He cleared his throat. "'Hinayaan mo agad makawala? Being in a relationship means facing misunderstandings but what matters most is how you both will overcome it. What the hell, Juno Jupiter? Win back the girl!'"

I bit my inner lips to refrain from bursting into laughters. Sinubukan niya rin kasing gayahin ang tono ni Ate Kajina. But his voice remained manly which made it funnier to me.

"So she dragged me to this car and made me leave. Binantaan ako na 'wag babalik hanggat hindi ko naaayos ang relasyon natin." He snorted.

Hindi ko napigilan at napahagalpak na ako ng tawa. Uno grimaced while I was laughing so hard. Ate Kajina is so adorable!

"Magnu-New Year ka pala niyan sa labas!" asar ko.

"Tss."

I slowed my laughters as I dried the corners of my eyes from blob of tears. Ganoon ako katawang-tawa habang nakangiwi si Uno dahil sa kapatid niya.

Bumuga ng hininga si Uno. "Babalik na ako. Sasabihin ko na lang na hindi na talaga nag-work."

"Okay... Uuwi ka na? Right now?"

Uno glanced at me and nodded his head. Nagkatitigan lang kami dahil wala siyang verbal response. But when he noticed the silence, he talked.

"Tinotoo ko na lang din na pumunta talaga rito. Sorry sa istorbo."

"It's okay. Napatawa naman ako ng pagpunta mo," konsuwelo ko, natatawa na naman. "Bye, Uno. Ingat sa pag-drive."

"Hmm. Ikaw din, ingat."

"What? Ingat sa pagbalik sa bahay which is literally right there?" Itinuro ko pa ang gate namin na iilang hakbang lang ang layo.

"Happy New Year," he said smilingly, dismissing the comical topic.

Napangiti rin ako, mas malawak sa kanya. "Happy New Year, Uno!"

The small smile was still pasted on his face. It slightly delivered chills to me. He does really, really, look good. Ang hirap hindi mapansin no'n.

"If you need my help too..." he trailed off.

I just nodded my head several times, not wanting to linger on that. "Yup! Bye-bye na," sambit ko at saka lumabas na.

Pagkalabas ko ay namataan ko si Lizeo na naglalakad palapit sa bahay namin kaya napatigil ako. He glanced at Uno's car then glared at me.

"Bakit mo 'ko b-in-lock?" tanong niya nang huminto malapit sa tapat ko. "And whose car is that? Who the fuck is inside?"

"None of your business," I replied nonchalantly.

His gaze at me only darkened and sharpened. Pinagkrus ko naman ang mga braso ko at ipinakita na wala akong pakialam sa kanya. It was the time to stop enduring his shits.

"Who the fuck is inside?" ulit niya, diniin ang bawat salita. "Answer or fuck you."

"Wala ka na dun."

"Ang sabi ko, sinong nasa loob! The question is fucking easy to answer so why can't you?"

I looked at him blankly as an idea surfaced in my head. Medyo itinaas ko ang aking baba. "It's my boyfriend inside," I lied, hoping it will put an end to his shits now.

I also hoped that Uno won't think of getting out of his car now even though he was obviously witnessing this. Malakas din ang loob ko dahil alam kong hindi naman niya narinig. I just used him.

"Fuck you," kapos sa hiningang saad ni Zeo. "Ang bilis mo naman? Ang landi mo talaga, 'no."

I was about to counter an argument about it. Hindi ko nga lang nagawa nang lumabas si Uno kaya sabay kaming napalingon ni Zeo. My eyes immediately dilated.

Uno's body was sandwiched by the door frame and the door while his folded arm was propped on the roof of his car. He was staring at Zeo. He looked completely displeased.

"Hey, don't you think you're going overboard already?"

"Uno Zorca?" hindi makapaniwalang bigkas ni Zeo. He put us both under his disbelieving look. "Okay, what the fuck."

His lips went into a grim line. Kitang-kita ko ang pagtitimpi niya na bumuga ng kung ano. Matalim ang tingin na hinandog niya sa akin bago tumalikod at umalis.

"Sorry. I rolled down the window. I thought that your conversation wasn't nice basing on the muted version. And I was right," basag ni Uno sa katahimikan sa pagitan naming dalawa. In short, he heard everything.

Bumuntong hininga ako. "Sorry rin nagamit kita ng walang permiso mo. I needed a cover-up and a savior on the spot."

"Ayos lang," agad na sagot ni Uno. "Ang bilis mong kinailangan ng tulong ko, ah? Kasasabi ko lang kanina sa kotse, eh."

Napanguso ako. "Sorry talaga." I squeezed my eyes close realizing that I had another reason to be sorry to him. "Malapit na ulit klase. Sa school kapag... a-ano... uhm... ako na lang bahal—"

Uno cut me off with the shaking of his head. "I know it's not recommended to define a person based on one time event. Pero..." His eyes slightly narrowed as he tilted his head to the side. "Ganun ba siya lagi sa'yo?"

Mapait akong napangisi. "Yeah. Sometimes, worst."

"Then I don't mind at all. Use me as a cover-up kaysa naman lagi ka niyang guguluhin."

Pumasada ang dulo ng dila ko sa looban ng aking pisngi. Nakangiti akong huminga nang malalim. "Sige, I'll go inside na. Tutulungan ko pa si Mommy mag-asikaso. Saka uwi ka na, baka abutan ka ng alas dose sa daan."

Uno nodded his head with a smile.

Ipipilit niya kasi iyon kahit tumanggi ako. So, I didn't want to prolong the talk about it because I wasn't meaning to extend the time of him being my pretend boyfriend on Zeo's viewpoint. Ngayong gabi lang naman.

If I'd be on a school break, I'd surely miss school. Now that it was back to school, I was missing the school break. Minsan ang hirap din talagang intindihin ng sarili ko.

Nakatambay ako sa school plaza kung saan may concrete table and benches. I was alone on the table I occupied while reading a handout for the discussion tomorrow. Kasi free time ko naman kaya binasa ko na. Para rin wala na akong iintindihin pagkauwi.

"Girlfriend ni Uno!"

Nag-angat ako ng tingin nang marinig ang pasinghap na iyon. I quickly understood that the owner of the voice didn't intend to let me hear but he failed to control his volume.

Both of my eyebrows slightly jerked from furrowing upon recognizing Uno's friends standing near my table. Bakas ang hiya sa pagngiti ni Ulrich na siyang narinig ko. Siniko siya nang isa na naalala kong si Stance.

Pero inborn na siguro ang kapal ng mukha dahil nakabawi agad. Ngiting-ngiti siya na hinila si Stance at umupo sila sa harap ko. Hindi naman sa inaangkin ko itong spot, but that was just so outright.

Hinalukipkip ni Ulrich ang mga braso sa konkretong mesa. He leaned his face towards me, though I was looking at my iPad to my handout because I didn't feel at ease given that I wasn't very close with them.

"Pretend boyfriend mo na rin daw brader namin?" si Ulrich, magaang humahalakhak.

Napasilip ako sa kaniya. "H-Huh? Ah..."

Stance scoffed so my eyes transferred to him. Nakahalumbaba itong katabi ni Ulrich habang nakatingin din sa akin. I creased my eyebrows at him.

"Nanganganib na kayong dalawa," aniya, tila makahulugan kaso hindi ko mabilis na nakuha ang ibig sabihin.

Sumabog ang tawa ni Ulrich kaya nalipat naman sa kanya ang tingin ko. Itinulak niya ang braso sa braso ng kaibigan na para bang may pagkakaunawaan sila.

"Gagi. Gets ko 'yon!" he exclaimed, laughing.

"Congrats, may utak ka," Stance deadpanned.

Hindi naman naapektuhan si Ulrich na binalikan lang ako ng tingin. His eyes were gleaming out of something amusing. He cleared his throat.

"Miss Rivi, look." Itinukod niya ang siko sa mesa kaya nakapatayo na ang braso. His hand was tilted to the side with his palm facing me. "Imagine this is color red."

Mula sa palad na tinukoy niya, idinirekta ko ang paningin sa kaniya. His lips was curved like there was an ulterior idea. I tried to question him through my stare.

"I'm raising the red flag," he sang as he moved his hand that it created ripples like that of a flag then slowly, his lips stretched to a broad smile.