"Yes, it is what you think it is," paglilinaw ko. I didn't want to confuse him as I wouldn't want to experience that too. 

"I don't understand..." he murmured with creases forming on his forehead. 

My heart fell to my stomach. Hindi iyon ang inasahan kong matatamo na sagot mula sa kaniya. I gulped the angst slowly building in me and I disliked how that act almost made a sound.

Mula sa phone screen, ibinaling niya ang nagtatanong na mga mata sa akin. "I heard at the canteen that you're trying to get Zeo back?"

Nabuhayan muli ako. Oh my gosh! I thought kung ano na! 'Kala ko mapapalagay na rin ako ng Kisapmata ng Rivermaya sa playlist namin, eh. Buti't hindi naman.

I snorted and made a face. "Feeling lang 'yon. Gawa-gawa niya lang 'yon. Because never again. Never."

Nagtagal ang tingin sa akin ni Uno. He mindlessly licked his lower lip before he bit it. A ghost of a smile touched his lips like a realization hit him right at the moment. Kaya nag-init ang pakiramdam sa mukha ko.

"No. Hindi mo 'yon mapapasabi sa 'kin." I shook my head firmly. "Alam mo na 'yon, Juno Jupiter. Don't make me say it." I had the urge to widen my chinky eyes to threaten him.

He chuckled and let out a little of a joyful laugh. Kaagad niyang tinawid ang espasyo namin at kinulong ako sa kaniyang bisig. Hindi na rin ako nag-abala na pigilan ang sumibol na ngiti sa akin. Hindi niya rin naman kita.

I was thrown over the moon while I basked in the warmth of his embrace. No one between us dared to utter anything. Despite sitting on their cushioned dining chair, my knees trembled at the magical rhythm of romantic beats inside our touching chests.

"I'm... scared," I admitted wholeheartedly. "Natakot akong baka hindi maging maayos ang kalabasan kung sisimulan natin."

It was real that my weighing concern was our friendship. But I cme to recognize that what worsened my fear was because it was highly possible for me to give in and I'd been denying that to myself. 

Paano kung matulad lang ng nangyari sa amin ni Zeo? 

Alam kong sobrang magkalayo ang ugali ng dalawang lalaki. But what if.. what if... what if magkasakitan lang din kami ni Uno... Pinangunahan ako ng sandamakmak na what ifs.

"I'm here with you." And it's all I had to hear from him. "We'll make this work."

"Buo ang tiwala ko sa 'yo," sagot ko.

"Miss na miss kita, Vi..." Hinigpitan niya ang yakap sa akin. "Alam mo ba 'yon?"

Binalik ko rin ang higpit ng yakap niya. "Miss din kita..." sagot ko sa maliit na boses.

Halos mapaubo ako nang humigpit lalo ang yakap niya sa akin. He almost suffocated me yet it still curled my lips into a radiant smile. This thing we were feeling... really did wonders, huh?

"Sorry," bulong niya, natawa nang kaunti at niluwagan ang mga braso niyang kumukulong sa akin. "I'm just elated right now. I can't contain it, Vi."

Masaya rin ako. Sobrang masaya rin ako. Para bang ayaw ko na rin siyang pakawalan at gusto ko na lang siyang yapusin nang matagal.

Kaso lang ay may biglang tumikhim... "I hate to ruin your moment but I'm really starving. Sorry na, guys." Ate Kajina joined us at the table and she took a plate and utensils.

Kapwa nahihiya kaming naghiwalay ni Uno at umupo nang maayos. Hindi lang yata mukha ko ang namumula! Buong katawan ko na siguro!

"Si Ate naman, oh... Panira," Uno complained under his breath.

Napakagandang panira naman ng ate niya... Ate Kajina was just in her silk robe and a bare morning face, but I still got starstruck. She stunned me every time. She might really be my ultimate girl crush. Ang hirap hindi titigan ng mukha niyang ang ganda-ganda.

"Aba! Gumaganiyan ka na, ha?! I'm sorry, okay?" Ngumuso si Ate Kajina habang kumukuha ng sarili niyang breakfast. "Pero minsan na lang akong umuwi rito, talagang a scene like that pa ang maaabutan ko early in the morning, ha." 

"Ate Ka, if you're really sorry, you will not tease us from now on."

Ate Kajina rolled her eyes and ignored him. "Our parents are sending their regards by the way, Rivi. Thankful sila that you brought his wasted ass home last night." Ngumiti siya sa akin.

"Uh, no problem po." Kimi ang ngiti ko.

Uno started getting himself his own breakfast too. I waited for him to finish before we ate in complete silence. Si Ate Kajina lang ang nagsasalita na ang boyfriend niyang si Kuya Leal naman ang kausap dahil magka-video call sila.

The next day after that, I received a text message from Uno. 

Para ngang iba pa rin sa pakiramdam ko kasi bago iyong drunk texts niya, ang tagal din noong huli naming exchange of texts. Nakakapanibago lang na makita ulit ang pangalan niya sa notification center ko.

Uno:
Hi, good morning. I added songs on our playlist.

Kaagad ko iyong tiningnan. He added two new songs in our playlist. Nakakadami na talaga siyang ambag, ha! Nakakaramdam na ako ng pressure sa collaborative playlist na 'to!

this is how you fall in love — Jeremy Zucker, Chelsea Cutler

Kagandahan — Fern.

I pressed the first song to listen. Hindi ako familiar sa dalawang kanta, o baka napakinggan ko na at hindi ko lang alam na iyan ang titles nila.

Uno:
Hey, just making sure that you're not ignoring me. 

Napakagat ako sa ibaba kong labi. Ito naman siya, oh. Pinakinggan ko lang naman saglit. Okay, ito na, magre-reply na nga.

Pagkatapos kaming mahuli ni Ate Kajina sa hapag nila, hindi na muli kami nakapag-usap ng tungkol sa aming dalawa. He didn't initiate and I didn't either, although I found this okay. Sabi nga, good things takes time.

Me:
I'm not, and I will not ignore you 😘

Uno:
Okay, thank you 😘

Uno:
I'll have Samgyup for dinner tonight with Stance and Rich. Join us? 😊

Napag-trip-an kong galawin iyong contact name niya sa akin bago ako sumagot. Nakakailang aminin sa sarili na kinikilig ako habang ginagawa ko iyon. Shit lang talaga! Ano na 'to?! From a simple 'Uno', I changed it into 'Juno Jupiter 💗'?!

Me:
Okioki 💗

Juno Jupiter 💗:
Okay, Vi. 💗 

Juno Jupiter 💗:
Sunduin na lang kita later sa classroom mo.

Muntik akong mapahagalpak. My gosh, sobrang cute niya lang! Ginagaya niya 'yong mga ginagamit ko na emoji! Kagigil ang isang 'to!

Para lang kaming tanga! Parang kailan lang iyong halos 'di kami magkakilala at nag-iiwasan, ah? And now we were like this? Ang bilis! Pero parang tama lang sa pakiramdam!

I appreciated that heart-to-heart talk I had with myself that night at Uno's home. Now I clearly saw what my fear costed me. And now I wouldn't allow it to cost me more.

Sa sobrang dala ko, nakapagdagdag din ako ng kanta sa playlist namin habang wala pa iyong instructor namin.

Jupiter — Flower Face

Ayoko nang banggitin. Bahala na siyang makita iyon.

Sinundo nga ako ni Uno pagkatapos ng last class ko dahil wala raw kaming training ngayong hapon. Hindi na lang ako hinintay sa campus gate, eh. How did he also know my exact last classroom, I didn't bother asking anymore.

"Hi, brader..." bati ni Ulrich sa akin noong kitain na namin silang dalawa ni Stance.

Makahulugan ang salubong na high-five at ngiti sa akin ng dalawa. But we didn't attempt speak about it. Bahala silang dalawa! Basta, alam naman na siguro nila 'yon! Ito nga't sumasama na uli ako sa kanila, 'di ba?

Malapit lang sa school namin iyong Romantic Baboy na alam kong favorite ni Ulrich kaya nilakad lang namin. If there was a bet, I was confident to side on my guess that this Samgyupsal dinner tonight was his craving. Hindi na ako nag-meryenda for this kaya susulitin ko ito.

"Sabi sa 'yo noon, eh. I raised the red flag, right? 'Yang mga fake relationships na 'yan, brad, red flag situation talaga 'yan," Ulrich whispered beside me when Uno got busy talking to the attendant of the restaurant.

I looked at him. He was grinning and his eyebrows were teasingly bobbing up and down.

"Hindi mo talaga mapigilan, 'no?" I thought, we established a while ago to not talk about this big elephant in the room but there he was! He just had to be the one to break!

"Pero alam mo, I don't think it's red actually if the case is... you and him." Kumibit balikat siya. "I tell you now... I'm raising the green flag." He gently tapped my shoulder twice.

Hindi na ako nakasagot sa kaniya dahil tinabihan na ulit ako ni Uno papasok sa loob. The attendant he was talking with kindly sent us to a table for four. Magkatabi kami ni Uno at sa tapat namin si Stance at Ulrich.

"Ay, ano ba 'yan! May epal naman dito."

Papaupo pa lang sana si Ulrich kaso natigilan siya nang marinig iyon. Sabay sila ni Stance na nilingon ang pinagmulan ng iritadong boses na iyon. I followed their gaze too. Pretty and short-haired girl was who welcomed my sight.

"I don't like it here." Diring-diri itong sumulyap sa table namin. "Tara na lang sa iba," aya niya sa mga kasama. Her friends didn't have a problem with that and exited with her.

Ulrich had a smirk on while arrogantly shaking his head as he sat down. "Luh, baliw. Grabe naman talaga epekto ko. She had to adjust and leave instead, you see that?"

"Grabe. 'Di ba talaga kayo magbabati na dalawa?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong ni Stance.

"Ewan ko ba sa babaeng 'yon, Stance," Ulrich replied, eyes were glinting in amusement.

"Ewan sa babaeng 'yon? Sus. Pinapatulan mo nga rin lagi, eh," sabat naman ni Uno.

Ano raw? May kaaway si Ulrich na babae? 'Yong kanina? Siya kaya ang isalang ko rito imbis na mga meat kasi bakit siya umaaway ng babae, ha?! 

"Please, braders, I'm famished. Let's not talk about her at baka masira ang gabi ko."

We ordered whatever we desired among the meat and side dish options. Iyong isinalang ni Uno ay ibibigay niya sa akin at ang mga isinalang ko naman ay ibibigay ko sa kaniya. Ginaya kami ng dalawa na halatang nang-aasar lang naman. Nagsusubuan pa sila ng kimchi.

Puspusan na raw talaga ang magiging training ni Uno sa mga susunod na araw dahil sa interschool competition. Kaya naman sinulit ko na siya na makasama. 

Finally nga, nakapaglaro na rin kaming apat ng Uno card game! And I lost! Grabe, wala man lang akong beginner's luck? Inilibre ko tuloy sila sa bagong bukas na Japanese restaurant na buffet style malapit sa dorm namin.

Pagkatapos noon ay dalawang linggong naging abala si Uno. Nginangawa na nga ng mga kaibigan niyang clingy ang tungkol doon. Pero wala naman silang magagawa dahil kailangan ni Uno ng matinding training bago sumabak. Not that his innate skills were questionable, though.

I accompanied Uno to the school chapel a day before the official game day. He was in the singles edition of male division. I quietly prayed beside him for his well-deserved triumph.

After the solemn moment in the chapel, it was his vacant while it was my free cut, so we pondered on how to kill some time. Ako iyong may naisip kung saan kami puwede magpunta na agad kong inalok sa kaniya.

"Why there, Vi?" Uno couldn't resist inquiring while driving to the destination that I set on his navigation.

"You will know."

Hindi iyon ganoon kalayo kaya narating namin agad ang memorial park na taon-taon kong binibisita. I lead the familiar route while clinging to his upper arm. Bitbit niya sa kabilang kamay ang bulaklak na binili namin sa daan.

"This is Ate Riva, my sister, our eldest," saad ko nang huminto sa puntod ng aking kapatid. "And this is Uno, someone special to me right now."

Nothing followed my voice, if not the hushed noise of the afternoon wind. Binalingan ko tuloy ang kasama ko na masinsinang nakatitig na pala sa akin.

I showed him a tight smile but sincere. "I swore to Achi na dadalhin ko sa kaniya ang special someone ko para ipakilala."

Yes, I brought Lizeo Acerbo here already since I was indeed in love with him back then. Pero hindi naman na iyon para banggitin pa kay Uno. If anything, I would've traded whatever to bring back the time and turn the tide.

"Good afternoon, Ate Riva. I am Juno Jupiter Zorca. Pleased to meet you."

I sat on my haunches to put down the flower on her grave. Pinantayan ako ni Uno nang naupo rin siya at inalis ang mga tuyong dahon na humaharang sa lapida ng ate ko.

"I also brought you here kasi pumupunta rin ako sa kaniya bago ang laban ko. I went here before the try-out sa school natin... and I really believe she's my luck. 'Yong binigay niyang badminton set naman sa akin is my lucky charm. I'm sharing the luck with you."

Ginaya ko na siyang alisin ang mga kalat na dahon sa puntod ng ate ko. Iniipon lang namin iyon sa tabi kasi may nakita naman akong maintenance na nagwawalis sa hindi kalayuan. Makakaabot din naman siguro iyon dito.

"Hmm. If that's the case, nanghihingi po ako ng basbas ninyo, Ate Riva... I hope to win the competition tomorrow."

I leaned the side of my head forward, acting like I was hearing something. I clapped my hands and smirked broadly at him. "Oh, ayan! Sabi ni Ate, sure win ka na raw! You even smell like champion daw!" 

"Wow," Uno remarked in delight. "Thanks, Ate Riva."

Tuwang-tuwa na humagikhik ako.

Uno cleared his throat, his face becoming serious. "In that case, Ate Riva, sasagarin ko na sana ang basbas ninyo... while I ask your sister here..." His deep gaze bore into mine. "Kung puwede na ba akong manligaw sa kaniya?"

Nabura ang ngiti ko mula sa hagikhik. OMG. Halos marinig ko ang matinding kabog sa dibdib ko.

It was the least I expected to occur today. Hindi namin napag-usapan muli ang tungkol sa aming dalawa, but I knew that we'd reach the point when we already had to. I thought we'd touch that area again at least after his game. O ng finals week dahil matatapos na rin ang school year na ito.

"Balik na tayo sa sasakyan mo. Let's get back to school."

I stood up and lead the way again. Kung kanina ay nakakapit ako sa kaniya, ngayon ay nauuna akong maglakad. Hindi naman kumikibo si Uno na nakasunod sa akin.

I was nervous. I was all of it. Ironically, I was looking forward to this conversation but now that the time had arrived, I was suddenly unready for this. O dahil nga hindi ko lang inaasahan na ngayon na talaga?

I squeezed my eyes close and breathed deeply in the most discreet way possible. Rivi, sabi nga ni Uno, he's here with you and you'll make it work together. Paulit-ulit ko iyong ikinintal sa isipan ko hanggang makasakay sa sasakyan.

Uno ignited the engine but didn't drive yet. He was mum while staring at the steering wheel in front of him. Nakonsensiya naman ako sa shotgun seat. He must be assuming the worst at this moment.

Bahagya kong nilakasan ang tikhim ko para makuha ang kaniyang atensiyon. I succeeded. His eyes were a bit glossy and it divulged how worried he was deep inside him. He didn't utter anything. He just waited for me to speak. 

Nakatitig lang ako sa kaniya at ganoon din siya sa akin. 

"Uhm..." I bit my lower lip then wetted it with the tip of my tongue. 

Uno's gaze dropped to my lips. Bumuga ako ng hangin para kalmahin ang sarili saka siya inabot. I placed a shallow kiss on his lips. It was a fleeting moment... but I felt the sugar rush it caused in my chest... and it smashed my heart in a good manner.

"Uno kasi... Hindi mo naman na kailangang manligaw pa..." I said in a small voice to erase the confusion evident in his face.

His eyes widened a fraction with a glint. It took him a moment before he decoded what I just told him. Hindi naman siya nagsalita. Nakita ko lang kasi lahat sa mga naging ekspresiyon ng mukha niya.

"I'd do everything to win the game tomorrow, but I don't mind losing it anymore..." he muttered. "Panalo na ako." He hooked my nape and brought his lips back to mine.