Chapter 16 #smashedsrs

Nagdaan ang ilang linggo na on repeat sa akin iyong una at nag-iisang kanta na inilagay ni Uno. Uno didn't say anything about it even though we were talking on both online and actual each day of our lives.

It was me who took the initiative to mention it one time. "By the way, 'yong Fallen na in-add mo sa playlist natin . . . I liked it!" I exclaimed. "Pati 'yong ibang songs ng Lola Amour, bet!"

Magkatabi kaming nakaupo sa indoor court ng campus, naghihintay na magsimula ang training habang nagra-rally naman for fun ang ibang badminton players.

For a while, I appreciated where I was. From the waitlist to an official athlete is something big of a deal for me. May scholarship grant na nga rin ako dahil dito, tapos gusto ko pa ang ginagawa ko—ang nilalaro ko.

Ate Riva . . . It was you who introduced this sport to me and Kuya Rivo when we were little. It was you who began honing my skills here. I owe this to you. Kahit na hindi mo na matutunghayan ang improvement ko. Para sa 'yo talaga ang mga laro ko.

Maliit akong napangiti sa sarili.

And then the silence dawned on me. Napalingon ako sa katabi ko dahil naalala na kinakausap ko nga pala siya at wala akong natanggap na sagot.

"Hey . . ." tawag ko sa namumulang si Uno habang nakatuon ang mga mata sa mga naglalaro sa harapan namin.

"Y-Yup?" he replied, but his eyes were still not on me.

"I said, I like the song you added. Saka 'yong Lola Amour. I listened to some of their songs . . ." I repeated reluctantly. Napaisip kasi ako kung ayaw niya ng istorbong madaldal habang nanonood sa mga naglalaro? Ni ayaw kasi akong tingnan, e!

"Glad you liked it."

Binasa ko na lang ang mga labi ko kasi confirmation na siguro iyon na ayaw niya ng istorbo. Ang tipid saka hindi ako binalingan. Sumandal na lang din ako nang maayos at nagbalak na manood ng mga naglalaro.

"Hey. May bibigay pala 'ko sa 'yo," aniya bigla.

Just when I looked at him, he was already facing the other side where his training bag was. Naghalungkat siya roon habang curious na curious ako sa kabila. He drew out a kraft paper bag shortly after, handing it to me.

I unconsciously stared before I got to accept it. "T-thanks. Ano 'to?" tanong ko kahit binuksan din naman agad.

Humarap na ulit si Uno sa mga naglalaro, tumikhim at humalukipkip. Hindi niya ako sinagot, so I think I should find out myself ang drama?

"Oh, my god," I muttered, seeing the glass jar inside. "Oh, my god, strawberry jam?" I added, identifying the color of the content.

Uno brushed the back of his head shyly, glancing at me. "Gawa ko."

I shrieked, enough for only the both of us to hear. Mahina ko siyang hinampas sa braso at tinanong, "Gawa mo?! Marunong ka?"

Napatawa ang guwapo at umiling. "I just followed the internet."

Pinagmasdan ko iyong glass jar na wala nang kahit anong sticker cover. Napangiti ako nang matamis—kasing-tamis ng jam.

"Saka ka na matuwa, Vi. Judge it first," sita niya, halatang hindi confident. Pero wala naman na kasi iyon sa tuwa ko dahil hello, ginawan niya ako ng strawberry jam!

"Masarap 'to, sus!" I declared confidently.

He grimaced but the ghost of smile was breaking free. "Tikman mo nga muna. 'Yong mga napitas ko lang 'yan na strawberries no'ng nag-Baguio tayo."

"Masarap nga 'to!" I insisted. Halos yakapin ko na ang glass jar at hindi pakawalan. "Gawa mo, e!" I winked playfully at him.

Nawala nang tuluyan iyong multo ng ngiti na kumakawala kanina lang sa mga labi ni Uno. If I wasn't mistaken, he stiffened and then his face reddened again. Medyo mainit nga naman kasi rito sa indoor court.

"D'yan na sina coach. Start na. Let's go," anyaya niya, tumayo at hinila ako.

"Huh? Where?"

"There . . ." he said even if I didn't see any trace of our coaches. "Put the jam aside."

"Pero nasaan—" Napahinto ako nang nakita na nga sina Coach Quimpo na binati ni Jenica roon sa may entryway.

Uno also sighed as if in relief beside me. He took the glass jar from my hand and placed it back inside the paper bag. Siya na rin ang nagtabi niyon sa bench katabi ng bags namin.

Nagsimula ang training nang magkahiwalay kami dahil magkaibang division. I was knackered but I still had the energy to eat up the top portion of Uno's strawberry jam in the dorm after I ate dinner with him and Jenica.

Hindi naman ako nagkamali at huling-huli nga ang taste buds ko.

"There you are . . ." mahinang nagdiwang si Uno nang lumapit sa table ko sa library at umupo sa tabi ko.

I was accomplishing an individual task on one of my course subjects when he texted me about my whereabouts. Sinabi ko naman kaya ito at nakita niya ako.

"Hey," bati ko, nakangiti. "Ba't mo 'ko hinahanap?" I asked, not removing my gaze from my laptop screen.

"Nothing. Makikitambay lang sa kung nasa'n ka."

Napataas ako ng isang kilay nang sumulyap sa kaniya. "Why, where are your friends?"

Pinagtaasan niya rin ako ng isang kilay. "Oh, well, Ms. Rivithymia Sio, I am with one of them right now," he stated with slightly narrowing eyes.

It startled me a bit before I made a face out of glee then giggled. Oo nga, alam ko naman! Naninibago lang talaga ako na magkaroon ulit ng friends.

Tumahimik lang naman si Uno na humilig sa table habang gumagawa ako. I was actually satisfied with the school's internet since it was fast at the moment. Kaya stress-free kong natapos ang kailangan kong ipasa mamayang gabi.

Nanonood na lang ako ng top badminton players noong naaninag ko sa gilid ng mga mata na gumalaw na si Uno mula sa pagkakahilig. Nakaidlip na rin kasi siya sa tabi ko. Because of the serene silence here in the library, I couldn't blame him.

Nahalata ko na nakatitig siya sa akin habang nakahilig pa rin ang ulo sa table. He was just staring for a while, not speaking. For some reason, I couldn't turn my head to meet his eyes.

Bakit ang awkward naman sa feeling?

Hindi ko na nga rin talaga tinangka na lumingon hanggang sa nagsalita na siya sa wakas.

"Hey, Vi . . . I won't attend the training tonight."

I looked at him questioningly. Halata sa mga mata niya ang idlip na nakamit saka may kaunting bakat din sa pisngi niya ang pagkakahilig. Puyat ata, kaso bakit naman?

"I'll leave now. Sasama ako sa scheduled errands ni Ate Ka for the rest of the day. Miss ko na, e. Halos 'di na umuuwi," nangunguso niyang saad. "Nag-aartista na talaga."

"Okay," I replied understandingly. "Kaso hindi ka ba lagot sa coach n'yo?"

"Reason out for me?" he requested with pouty lips.

I was a bit distracted by his lips because they were so cute in my eyes. Pinilit ko na ibalik sa mga mata niya ang tingin. Kasi, wait, ano namang idadahilan ko for him?

"LBM sabihin ko?"

Nagbahagi ang mga labi niya noong una bago bahagyang natawa. "Ikaw bahala," aniya, napatango na lang.

I nodded my head with vigor and showed my two thumbs. Ibinaling ko na rin ulit ang atensyon sa laptop ko nang naaninag na nag-cellphone lang si Uno. I thought he was leaving already, but I felt him staring again, so I couldn't confront him for some reason.

Lumipas ang ten minutes nang hindi umalis si Uno. I forced myself to turn my head and eyed him questioningly. Nahuli ko nga siyang nakatitig sa akin kahit hawak ang cellphone. That's why it seemed like he was using it, but see? My instinct was right.

He chuckled. "Aalis na. . ." sambit niya at tumayo. Para siyang napipilitan kahit sarili niya namang desisyon ang umuwi na.

Ilang saglit lang nang umalis si Uno, ginutom ako. It was the kind of hunger for only an afternoon snack since it was still early for dinner. I turned off my laptop and connected my earbuds I was previously using to my cellphone instead.

Kahit isa pa lang ang kanta sa playlist namin ni Uno, ipini-play ko pa rin kasi magaganda ang automatic na suggested songs kasunod. Pero hindi ko inasahan na may ikalawang kanta na palang dinagdag si Uno roon.

Maybe Maybe – Lola Amour

Palaisipan sa akin kung kalalagay niya lang ba niyon. Because the last time I used the playlist was at lunch and it still only had one song then—and I'm surely not mistaken.

Napakinggan ko na rin naman itong kanta noong kinikilala ko ang banda dahil sa unang kanta. Pero mas curious ako ngayon na isinama rin ni Uno sa playlist namin.

On top of it all, grabe na ang pressure sa akin dahil nakakadalawa na siyang ambag na kanta. I still couldn't pick a song deserving to be in our tracklist. I don't know why am I being overly picky about it, though. Sobrang big deal sa feeling!

"Finally, nag-meet na ulit tayo!" si Ate Kajina.

She giggled over our dinner table one Saturday night. I was invited to their intimate celebration for her movie soon to be aired in local cinemas. Inimbitahan niya na nga rin ako sa Premiere night ng first movie niya as a lead.

Hindi ko natanong pero halata namang hindi pa rin yata inaamin ni Uno ang totoo sa relasyon namin. Pinaunlakan ko na rin ang invite ni Ate Kajina at ng family niya sa akin ngayon para mapanindigan ang next time na sinabi ko last time.

If Uno can walk the talk when it comes to my family, I want to do just as the same to his.

Nasa malawak na backyard garden lang kami ng bahay nila kung saan nakahanda ang mahabang lamesa. There were their parents, Ate Kajina, Uno, Kuya Leal, Kuya Rael, Kuya Keen, Yzl, and me. Napapagitnaan namin ni Ate Kajina si Uno.

"Thank you for inviting me, Ate," I said sweetly then I proceeded on complimenting the Asian cuisine served in front of us all.

Napag-alaman ko na rising band iyong boyfriend ni Ate Kajina na si Kuya Leal at ang dalawa niyang cousins. Con3ras is their band name which makes a whole lot of sense, knowing that the trio's family name is Contreras.

Pinakanta sila nina Tita Karen at Tito Joseph nang medyo nagpapahupa na kami ng main course sa living area. Si Uno at Yzl, todo pilit sa kanila kaya nakigaya na rin ako.

"Hay nako, Tita! Since pinipilit n'yo 'ko, ito na!" Tumayo si Kuya Rael mula sa couch. "Mapilit kayo, ha!" aniya, kahit na si Kuya Keen at Kuya Leal naman ang tinutulak namin dahil si Kuya Rael na ang vocalist nila.

"Hindi naman ikaw, e! Umay na kami sa 'yo, Kuya Israel!" alma ni Yzl.

Tito chortled heartily. "It's okay. He's a proud young man that I cannot blame. May boses naman kasi talaga."

Mayabang na napapalatak si Kuya Rael. "Naks naman, oh. Kaya talagang vibes tayo, Tito! Bagets ka!" He offered his fist for a fist bump which Tito granted with a laugh.

"But Yzl's right, Dad," Ate Kajina interfered with her shoulders glamorously folded and an arched eyebrow. Halata naman na nanunuya lang sa cousin ng boyfriend.

Kuya Rael stomped his feet as quiet as he could. "Leal, oh! Inaaway ako ng girlfriend at kapatid mo," sumbong niya, matulis ang nguso. "Ibalik mo na nga si Yzlrey sa elyu. . . at si . . . si Dorajina, sa sinapupunan ni Tita."

"Heh! Mukha mo!" Yzl retorted while Ate Kajina just glowered at him.

"Ikaw ibalik ko," Kuya Leal deadpanned.

It earned a silent chuckle from Kuya Keen who was on my right side. Si Uno ang sa kaliwa ko na siya na ring dulo ng couch na inuupuan namin.

"Youngsters," nanita na si Tita. "Let Rael sing and the others may sing next."

Inabot na nga ni Kuya Rael ang wireless microphone mula sa helper na nag-set up sa malaking flat screen na maging karaoke for a while. Pinangunahan niya ang pagkanta kaya nagsunod-sunod na rin kami, maliban na lang kay Kuya Keen na tumatanggi.

"Ang soft lang ng voice mo, Rivi!" komento ni Ate Kajina matapos kong kumanta. Nahihiya akong ngumiti. "Love it!" she added animatedly.

I'm not a singer, but I can manage a karaoke session. Basta ako ang pipili ng kakantahin. Huwag lang talaga iyong may mga matataas at may birit dahil sira ang image niyan!

Inabot ko kay Uno iyong mic dahil siya na ang next saka ko kinuha ang banana split na nasa center table na. Our desserts were served while I was singing. Buti hindi iyong ten-minute song ni Taylor Marie Joy Batumbakal Swift ang napili ko dahil natakam na sa dessert. May strawberry flavor kasi sa ice cream scoops.

"Did you know na nagalit sa 'kin si Juno Jupiter? Just because muntik ko nang makain 'yong strawberry jam na gawa niya for you na hindi naman ako aware!"

"Hey, that's not true!" mariing tanggi ni Uno. "Hindi kaya ako nagalit sa 'yo!"

"Opps. Hindi ba?" Ate Kajina giggled, leaning against Kuya Leal's chest. "I thought, e!"

"I'd give it to you if you want it," kalmado nang sabi ni Uno. "Gagawan ko na lang ulit si Rivi."

"Aww! You're so sweet!" Ate Kajina exclaimed dramatically. Itinaas niya ang kamay at umaktong pinipisil ang magkabilang pisngi ni Uno sa ere dahil magkalayo sila.

Napanguso na lang si Uno, mukhang medyo nahihiya sa inakto ng kapatid. I softly elbowed him when I saw that the countdown was about to end on the screen.

"Got no idea where I'm going, I'm lost . . . I guess it comes with having too much time . . . She's got her mind where her heart should be . . . And I use my heart where my mind is free . . ."

Napapalakpak ako nang makilala ang choice of song ni Uno. He just added this to our playlist. Hindi ko rin tuloy napigilan na sumabay nang tahimik sa tabi.

Umakyat na rin kasi ang parents nila at hinayaan na kaming magsaya rito sa baba. It was why I slightly let on, because their presence made me a tad bit conscious.

Baka kasi ma-bad shot ako at isipin na hindi bagay rito sa guwapo nilang anak. Mahirap naman iyong maganda lang.

"And I, I don't wanna think about it . . . 'Cause I know how I feel and it's whole and it's real . . . But I don't know if I should still keep on going . . ."

I slowed sending the spoon of ice cream into my mouth when an idea dawned on me. Napasulyap ako kay Yzl. Magiliw niya ring sinasabayan ang kanta ni Uno kahit maya't mayang nagse-cellphone dahil mukhang may textmate.

Could it be that . . .

"'Cause I don't see the point in telling her I love her . . . When I know it goes one ear and out the other . . . She don't feel it the same way, well maybe, maybe as a friend . . . But even then I know I'm all alone, got no one in the end . . ."

I know for a fact that people do not need to relate to the song in order to appreciate it. Pero naalala ko bigla na inaasar ni Ate Kajina si Yzl kay Uno dati na dahilan nga kaya may ako. Bakit nga lang ba natigil? Kasi nagka-boyfriend si Yzl? May boyfriend na si Yzl bago ako ipinakilala ni Uno as his fake girlfriend.

Tahimik akong napasinghap. Gusto ni Uno si Yzl? And he's still into her? Maybe the songs he added to our playlist are all meant for her? He doesn't see the point in telling her he loves her? Kasi nga may boyfriend na? Hindi na puwede si Yzl.

Napatutop ako ng bibig. I let the strawberry ice cream melt over my tongue as I eyed Uno again who seemed absorbed in that certain song . . . for Yzl.