Slutty Brownies

POV Super Special Agent Xiao Zhan

How delightful! The celestial beings never miss an opportunity to make my days spectacularly exciting. I have to say, they can be described as touchingly supportive, even if I wonder what I did to deserve this grace. Well, it seems like I obviously do! As for their recent divine intervention, I remember it as if it were just yesterday; the events are still so vivid in my mind ...

It was a Friday evening, the warm, glorious rays of the summer sun illuminating my flawlessly bronzed skin, enhancing my handsomeness as I sat beside my beloved in the passenger seat of our car. Though we were battling Beijing's heavy rush hour traffic, Friday marked the end of another exciting week at work, during which I had ample opportunities to showcase my unparalleled skills and to impress my Baby.

Despite the unfavourable traffic situation, I effortlessly maintained a composed demeanour, but inwardly, I was too eager to return home for two specific reasons. Firstly, I hoped to receive absolutely well-deserved recognition for my diligent, unequalled work in defending justice in our city. Secondly, I couldn't wait to indulge in the sumptuous meal - a culinary masterpiece - I had meticulously prepared with great effort and precision, which had occupied my thoughts throughout the day. And for once, I wasn't referring to my cute, little husband, who was visibly frustrated by the congested streets. Just looking at him almost made me feel pity. Perhaps I could playfully tease him to lighten my mood.

Junior Lieutenant Voice of Reason: Commander, given our current situation, I strongly advise against provoking the unstable vehicle driver. His temper could lead to a fatal outburst. However, minor teasing may help to alleviate tension and improve our circumstances.

Ensign Moralizer: "But Sir, what if he becomes infuriated and designates his ass-area as a restricted zone?

Lieutenant Libido 2.0: Negligible, Commander! We have repeatedly demonstrated our ability to infiltrate enemy lines. Victory has consistently been ours, and this mission will be no different.

Your objections have been noted, my comrades. We shall proceed with caution.

In all given honesty, who in their right mind could possibly resist those puffy red cheeks and enraged dagger-shooting eyes? I couldn't. I'm so weak for this! I'm so in love!

About forty exhilarating minutes and a handful of well-timed jibes later, we finally made it home. As you probably guessed, thanks to my flawless skills, I managed to strike the perfect balance between keeping us in good, healthy shape and indulging my relentless urge to entertain myself. To top it off, the walk from the underground car park to our apartment was an unforgettable, delightful treat for my senses, with my ears still ringing from the barrage of indecent, creative insults. Who taught him that? I have to thank them!

As the apartment door closed behind us, I quickly kicked off my shoes with the finesse of an Olympic athlete, launching them directly into the shoe rack in one smooth motion. With visions of culinary delights dancing in my head, I eagerly made my way to the kitchen, practically salivating at the thought of the delicious aromas awaiting me. Little did I know that within moments, the evening would take an unexpected turn, shattering my bubble of enjoyment in the most painful way possible.

Time stood still for an atrocious moment.

"Where are they!?" I cried out, my voice trembling with dismay as my fingers clutched my aching heart. I had excitedly opened the box of my precious, exquisite, self-made "Slutty Brownies," only to find it empty. All my hard work had been plundered, leaving no trace of my beloved dessert. Bitter disappointment surged through me, my eyes fixated on the desolate inside of the box, as if staring at the scene of a crime.

"What's wrong with you? Why are you shouting like that, you idiot?" The tender, considerate and innocent voice of my beloved resounded right behind me. I spun around and dragged him toward the corpus delicti, dramatically pointing an accusatory finger at the emptiness in front of us to emphasise the sheer outrageousness of the situation.

"My brownies! Stolen! Gone! Each layer a true masterpiece of absolute perfection! I'm devastated! Everything's ruined!" I shouted, my voice dripping with theatrical agony.

"That's... uh... bad?" Wang Yi Bo, the love of my life, insensitively replied with a hint of hesitancy, accompanied by a barely perceptible paling of his skin. However, despite my despair, my super-receptive and sharp agent senses detected these nuances with natural ease. My eyes locked on him for a second, causing a picture to quickly form in my mind.

Could it be?

Oh, my dear sweet Baby... the evening just took a delightful turn in my absolute favour. It seems like this is a case for Super Special Agent Xiao Zhan. I should start the "investigation"! Let's see how long you can withstand my extraordinary interrogating capabilities. And to successfully address this case of unprecedented malevolence, I am going to use all the exceptional skills I possess.

My senses are heightened.

My focus is fixed on my target.

My perception captures every detail down to the smallest molecule.

My mental comrades assumed their positions at their respective stations in the command center, eyes fixed on their monitors. The war room is operational.

There is no escape!

I purposefully slowly turned toward my chosen culprit, inhaling exaggeratedly and widening my eyes in disbelief at his unbelievable question. "Bad? Of course it's bad! This cannot be surpassed in terms of cruelty! Have you ever tasted these incredible, manifold flavours and felt how they melt on your tongue?"

Pay attention, comrades, he is hesitating again! And this - his brief, inconspicuous glance to the side and tiny movement toward the exit - is extremely suspicious!

Junior Lieutenant Voice of Reason: Noted, Commander! Searching the area for possible escape routes and taking precautions!

Splendid!

I stared unblinking at my increasingly uneasy Baby, observing him closely, my sharp eyes piercing into his fearful ones. I can't deny, this game aroused me. Although he doesn't know what we're playing, he's already lost. Oh dear, just look at him! My predator instincts kicked in, and I couldn't help but lick my lips in anticipation. Oh, wait! He straightened up himself. Going to launch an attack?

"No, I didn't, you stupid! Come on, it's just a cookie. Aren't you exaggerating a bit? Let's just have dinner. I'm hungry." He bit back, daring to roll his beautiful eyes and trying his best to sound dismissive. Hoping to distract me, huh? But do you really think this would be enough for me to lose track? You're not off the hook yet!

"How can you say that? It's not just a cookie! It's the epitome of mind-blowing flavours," I retorted, gasping, feigning deep offense and shooting him a pained look. How could he compare a mere cookie with my divine Slutty Brownies?!

"I think you will survive that... loss," my cute picky pig groaned, folding his arms protectively in front of his chest. I raised an eyebrow. Acting cocky now? Oh, just wait and see what I'll do with that chest later. Hmmm... he looks so pissed. Do I smell a whiff of frustration and tension?

Never leaving my target out of sight, I began to circle him, cornering him between me and the kitchen counter, effortlessly cutting off all possible detected escape routes. My index finger tapped my chin in rhythm with my footsteps. His nervousness increased the longer my eyes were fixed on his. Time for the counterattack.

"Sooo... you really don't know who could have had the audacity to commit such a despicable deed and take what is rightfully belonging to me? I'm hurt!" I asked, my voice deliberately sad and innocent.

"...No?" Oh, Baby, you have never been good at lying. I stopped walking and stared deeply into his eyes. This is so much fun!!

"That's a shame. But are you sure? I mean, don't they know with whom they are messing with?" I probed, and I saw him swallowing nervously. But in the next instant it got replaced with his typical being-guilty-rage. Damn, I love this huffing and puffing! So adorable!

"I am sure! Why do you keep asking? I have nothing to do with this shit!" He shouted infuriated. However, the slight traitorous trembling in his voice didn't go unnoticed by me. Of course not. I inwardly chuckled. Guess I have to provoke you more, my beloved Baby. Brace yourself for my next attack.

"Hah... of course. You would never do something like this to me. How could I ever assume you had your hands dirtied like this? Hah... What I would give for just one bite of my beloved brownies now after such a stressful, dreadful day... Whoever committed this outrageous villainy deserves severe punishment, don't you agree, my Baby? Just imagine the utterly complex process of making them. First, a creamy layer of chocolate chip cookie dough, so sweet and juicy. Second, a layer of crispy Oreo cookies, crumbled into fine pieces. And lastly, a decadent, sinful layer of brownie batter... Simply to die for."

Moaning, I closed my eyes and licked my lips. As I pictured the sin on my taste buds, my voice switched from a grieving tone to one of melancholy. I literally could sense my Baby trembling and trying to stop himself from exploding. Victory will be mine soon!

"What are you doing, dammit. Make them again, if you like them so much and stop pestering me with your wannabe mafia act, Agent Cookie! I want to eat!" My eyes popped open abruptly. Oh my... what was that? So bold! No, wait! Did I just spot a flicker in those big eyes? A nervous rise and fall of his Adam's Apple?

"You seem quite tense for someone who claims to be innocent. Why is that, Baby? Do you possibly have something to confess?" Raising an eyebrow, I inquired, inwardly highly amused.

"No! I don't! What are you trying to say?" he retorted instantly-too quickly, I must say-taking a few steps back until he hit the counter. Even from my position, I could clearly see the terrified quiver run through his body. Why so, my innocent Baby? A wide, knowing grin spread across my lips.

"Perhaps, even though you say otherwise, you couldn't resist, which is absolutely understandable, and had a little forbidden taste of something that wasn't yours? Placed here, unguarded, in this lined box?"

With each word, my smile grew wider as his expression shifted from frightened to outraged. With astonishing speed, considering what I did with him last night, he pushed himself off the counter and moved towards me until his nose touched the tip of mine. His eyes narrowed into slits, and I couldn't help but admire his brave move. Prepare for combat, comrades. The battle seems inevitable. We've encountered unexpected but desirable resistance.

Mental war squad: Yes, Commander! At your service!

"That's a bold accusation, you prick! You have no proof!" Look at his smug expression. He must be so sure he can win this. Oh Baby, will you ever learn? I'm squealing!!!

"You know how confident and exceptional I am. Maybe you want to reconsider your answer." Honestly, if this continues, my facial muscles will suffer severe cramps. My cheeks already started to hurt, but I couldn't stop grinning from ear to ear. The best part was, I knew it made this little cutie even angrier.

"Why would I stoop to such low, useless deeds?"

"What if I have proof?"

"I highly doubt that, since I'm innocent! But for the sake of my mental peace, if you do, you can punish me." He sighed arrogantly, but as soon as the words slipped past his lips, his eyes widened in horror. It was as if he just realised with whom he was talking.

Oh, my cherished gods, I'm so deeply in love! Each day feels like a new blessing! How did I deserve such a happy fate? Just behold that unbelievably endearing facial expression! It's sheer perfection! I would love to squeeze those plump cheeks until they're red! But then my Baby would bite me again, and I still need my talented hands to hold him properly in place later. And I fully intend to just do that. There has to be discipline, even though I deeply adore this image of my deepest desires. However, this time he has crossed an indisputable line.

Look at him, he knows it too... I can practically sense his amateurish attempt at concealing fear and see the unmistakable traces of guilt etched across his flawless face. Oh, my dear Baby, you still have much to learn about deceiving me. Me, Super Special Agent Xiao Zhan, the one and only, your ethereally handsome, exceptional husband, the center of your affections. What in the name of my huge cock were you even thinking? Well, your survival skills must be even worse than I originally estimated. But now that you have me, I'll teach you properly... even though... that would mean shooting myself in the foot. All the opportunities I would miss to get to your soft, perfect, flawless, sinful ass...

Lieutenant Libido 2.0: We can't let that slide, commander. I'm pleased you are considering appropriate measures that will both benefit us and ensure that this heinous deed won't repeat itself.

Indeed, we're collaborating as a team for the greater good, after all.

Junior Lieutenant Voice of Reason: Even though I always advocate for well-thought-out actions, I must still agree with that. Certain boundaries must not be violated under any circumstances. Disciplining seems highly advisable to me.

Ensign Moralizer: Due to this precarious situation, the feeling of guilt can be disregarded.

My comrades, I'm delighted we are once again on the same page. I shall proceed.

Mental war squad: At your service, commander.

"Punishing you? I can't deny, it's tempting. My imagination is running wilder than a toddler in a candy store!"

"Hold your cookies, you idiot! There's nothing proven yet. Don't even think about any forms of punishment! I'm innocent!" He yelled, crossing his arms and backing away. My hand shot forward like a lightning, successfully encircling his perfectly formed waist and pulling him back against my strong chest. Yeah, yeah, of course, you are...

"Where are you going, Baby? We haven't wrapped up our investigation, and you're the star witness..." I whispered against his lips as he stumbled into my arms.

"What... What are you thinking? Let go of me!" My Baby stuttered! He stuttered! He wriggled like a worm on a hook, but I held tight. So adorable! Well, he's not entirely wrong; I might gobble him up if he keeps being this cute! How could I resist a sweet treat on a silver platter?

"But Baby, how could I let you go? We have to catch the brownie thief! Hm... Catching a thief... reminds me of something ridiculous I read..."

"Stop spouting nonsense, you nitwit! What's going on in that bizarre brain of yours?" I love watching his cheeks turn bright red. He's so adorable, like a kitten trying to box me with its tiny paws. Honestly, the gods must really love me!

"Nonsense, you say? This is gravely serious! Can't you grasp the severity of my dilemma?" Changing tactics, I leaned in closer, lowering my voice to a dangerously deep tone, devoid of any warmth. Our foreheads nearly touched, my broad chest pressing against his, and I relished the quickening of his heartbeat in my presence. My lower body brushed his thigh, seemingly by accident, as I savored the subtle shivers coursing through him and the goosebumps dotting his skin.

I scrutinized every minute change in his expression as he visibly wrestled with how to save himself from me. My head dipped sideways, my nose slowly tracing the length of his bare neck. My eyes closed as I inhaled his intoxicatingly sweet scent. His body, molded into my embrace, started trembling as my fingers slid over his sides, down to his perfectly shaped buttocks. Beware, I know how to play this game.

"St-stop it already! What are you, a dog in heat?"

"Who knows? However, I won't stop until I avenge my precious brownies." I smiled against his neck, my voice a low murmur, vibrating against his shivering skin.

"Avenging, my ass! You have ulterior motives!" he whined weakly, frustration clear in his voice. Still resisting, my Baby? You're too adorable for your own good, you know that?

"And your cookies weren't that good anyway!" He added hastily, and I must admit, it's really endearing how often his mouth outruns his brain.

I felt him freeze, his body stiffening like a stone, his heartbeat drumming rapidly inside his violently rising and falling chest after blurting out such an outrageous insult.

Lieutenant Libido 2.0: Commander, we've received a critical blow, opting for counter measures!

Junior Lieutenant Voice of Reason: The target's defense line has been breached! We must use our chance and initiate countermeasures!

Granted!

Words could not convey the sheer happiness I felt in the deepest pits of my heart at this moment. An overjoyed smile spread across my lips as if by itself.

Sensing his non-existent flight instincts kicking in, I tightened my grip around his waist and placed one hand at the back of his head, raking my fingers through his unruly hair. Locking my eyes with his, I left no room for discussion about fleeing the scene.

"So bad you ate them all?"

"I... I... uh..."

The colour of his face switched from white to red and back to white at an interesting pace. His panic was evident, and the predator in me couldn't resist pushing him against the counter, my whole body pressing against his.

"You should confess, my love, or you might wake up the bad cop in me."

"Do you even have a good cop in you?"

"Hah, still so fierce in the face of impending defeat. I love that! But shouldn't you at least try to give me a good reason not to push you onto the counter and spank you into next week?" To emphasise my words, my fingers ran down to his two squishy mounds and gave them a tantalising squeeze, causing him to jump in shock. "I remember you mentioning something about punishment?"

"Okay! Okay! I did it! I was half asleep and drained of all energy after you railed me through the bed for hours! I didn't even pay attention to what I was eating. I was starving!"

Deeply satisfied, my hands wandered over his plump cheeks in slow circles. This was one of their favourite places, after all. Then, a thought came to mind, and my expression changed to a devious smirk. "So, you're saying it was my fault?"

Hearing this, his eyes widened to the size of golf balls. For a moment, I feared they would pop out of their sockets. "That's not what I was saying... I... I... wait! Of course it was! Your endless horniness is killing me! The true victim here is me!"

I chuckled, leaning my forehead against his before I answered. "I can't deny that this is an interesting take on the situation... you little brownie thief. How do you intend to repay me? I was deeply hurt, you know? The hard work... the destroyed anticipation... I was devastated."

"Shut up! What the hell are you saying?! I told you I was starving. I wanted to live!"

"Listen, Baby," I said, leaning in closer. My lips only inches away from his ear. "This isn't about survival. This is about justice for the brownies. And trust me, you don't want to be on the wrong side of dessert history."

He sighed dramatically, as if he were the victim here, which he ridiculously thought he was. "Fine, Commander Cookie, I'm truly sorry for eating your cookies. Let's solve this case over dinner, shall we?" He really didn't realise what position he was in, didn't he? Dinner? Seriously?

"Excellent," I declared, a triumphant grin spreading across my face. "But remember, the kitchen is my courtroom, and these brownies are the star witnesses."

"Wha...??"

Without further ado, I lifted him up and placed him on the kitchen counter. Oh, my sweet Baby, you were offering me punishment, so who am I to deny you your wishes?

His fingers clawed into my shoulders as he lost contact with the ground, and a carnal arousal hit me. Did he even know how he looked right now? Too cute and seductive for his own good-a dangerous combination.

Relishing his tiny gasps and muffled moans, I nibbled on his neck and busied my hands with slowly undoing the buttons of his crumpled shirt. I swallowed dryly at the sight of his pale, soft skin, just as I did every time I saw it.

"What are you doing?" His raspy, shaky voice right next to my ear caused my caged dick to twitch dangerously inside my trousers.

"My little thief, one thing is for sure: I'm not going to bed without my dessert." I groaned, my mouth grazing over his shivering chest, biting into his perky nipples and making him shriek in surprise.

"We didn't even have dinner yet!"

"You can be both. I won't mind."

"Ugh, you are crazy..."

"I know. And we both know you love that."

"Oh god... I will never take your cookies again!"

"Slutty brownies!"

"Whatever..."

After that, I decided it was time to stop indulging in useless conversation and focused entirely on my and my Baby's "needs". At the end of the day, I still had some disciplining to do.

And later, after my absolute perfect performance, when my darling is slumbering deeply satisfied, I will sneak out the hidden batch of my beloved brownies and enjoy. Some things, I think, he will never learn, and for that, I am eternally grateful to the gods. I love you so much, Wang Yi Bo, my sweet silly Officer. My days have been the best since I met you.

Fin.