"Kenny, do you remember Danny?" Nicole asks me innocently.

Oh, but how could I forget Dante – or Danny - Correll? My very first romantic obsession? The first love of my life? The one who freed my hardened black heart and made me realise that not all boys were heartless at ages twelve to fourteen?

"Of course I do," I eyeball her suspiciously. "Why?"

She shrugs slowly. If I hadn't known her for twelve years I would've thought she was just being dramatic, but Nicole is practically permanently stoned so everything she does is slow. "I ran into Ben from middle school yesterday and he invited me to a baseball game with his friends today, Danny included."

My heart stops.

Next to me, Stacy takes a large bite out of her apple. "Who's Danny?" She asks.

Nicole turns to her slowly and reveals her teeth in a perfectly calculated grin. "Kenny's first ever boyfriend."

I snort as Stacy gasps. "You had a boyfriend back in middle school?! Bitch?"

"No, he was never my boyfriend." I say and roll my eyes.

"Oh please, the two of them were practically married." Nicole butts in. "At lunch they used to pretend they were looking at anything but each other but it was so obvious. And on their birthdays, they had this tradition where they'd leave a –"

"Nic, shut up," I say and she laughs.

"Tell me more, I wanna hold this against her later," Stacy says. She didn't go to middle school with us and always complains whenever we reminisce about the good old days when we just had to write book reports on Judy Blume books for homework. Today however, she seems to be quite happy with all this new information.

"Well," Nicole leans over the lunch table and steals a grape from my plate. "They used to like, buy each other candy and share it whenever they could. And on their birthdays, they'd put the other's favourite on their desk along with a card."

She drops the grape in her mouth with slow graceful movements and ignores the fact that I'm glaring at her with all my might. Stacy leans back in her chair and smirks.

"Is that true, Kenny?" She asks. I shrug, somehow confirming this fact and she laughs. "What was his favourite?"

When I don't reply, she turns to Nicole who takes another few grape off the bunch, claiming that she needs them to think about it. "Oh my God, what were they? Sour Patch Kids?"

I sigh, "They were twizzlers if you must know,"

Stacy frowns. "Are you sure he isn't gay?" 

Nicole shakes her head. "No way, he was so into Ken, it was a mystery they weren't together. If anything he's bi – or wait, what's that other one? Panda sexual?"

"It's pansexual," I say, sighing. "And no, he wasn't into me. I mean, he barely ever talked to me,"

"That was because of Tyler, he said that Danny couldn't date you because they were best friends."

"I call bull," I say and she rolls her eyes. "What! The boy just didn't like me like I loved him."

"Why don't you prove its bullshit?" Nicole asks, taking the whole bunch of grapes this time. "Play baseball with us."

Uncomfortable, I shift around in my seat. "I don't know. I mean, I do have to help Jackie with his homework tonight and –"

"Now who's bullshitting?" Stacy interrupts, putting her hair behind her ears. She gives me a pointed look before deciding that my grapes from Nicole are better than the ones she was just eating.

"Listen –"

"Kennedy, just come," Nicole finishes for me and then looks down at her phone. "I'm telling Ben you're going to be there no matter what you say, okay?"

"But –"

She starts tap-tapping on her phone and sends a message. Almost instantly, she gets a reply. "He says that's cool and they'll meet us there. Stace, you down?"

Stacy shakes her head. "Nah, I think I'm gonna break up with Wayne today." 

We peer at her, quite surprised. She and Wayne have been a thing since sophomore year. Oh yeah, she was totally enamoured with the guy ever since he asked her if it hurt when she fell from Victoria Secret because she's both a model and an angel.

You gotta give him props for being original.

"Break up with Wayne?" I reiterate. "Why?"

She shrugs. "He's always telling me how hot my mom is and it's so weird."

Nicole shakes her head. "Looks like it's just you and me Kenny."

"I won't come with you," I say defiantly, folding my arms and sitting back in my lunch chair. She laughs and drops the empty stalk of grapes in my plate.

The disrespect.

"We'll see," She says, stretching out and relaxing in her seat. "We will see."

*-8*-8-*

"Nic there's nobody here, this is our chance to duck out!" I say, swinging the large metal baseball bat in my hands. She forced me to bring one along when we got to my mom's house earlier this afternoon and because my younger brother Jackie was with his dad, I had no choice but to come with her.

Isn't it funny how shit works against me?

She gives me a dirty look and throws the ball. "We aren't going anywhere until you and Danny conceive at least one child," She drawls.

"Okay, first, ew." I hit the ball half-heartedly. "And second of all, I may have liked him in middle school but-" My eyes focus on a group of people behind her. "Oh my God, is that them?"

She turns around and shields her face from the sun. "Where?"

They're still a little far away but coming towards us is a large group of boys – no a group of men, decked in baseball gear, from the baseball hats to the damn pinstripe pants. If they didn't look so good, I'd probably laugh at them. They're all holding caps, save for one who is holding a catcher's helmet and is jokingly throwing it around. He puts it on when one of them points and waves towards us.

"Holy shit, yeah, that's them!" Nicole waves and then turns back to me with a grin on her face. She chews her gum a little more vigorously, almost reaching normal human speed. "Hey, Ken, hit the ball really hard so they know we aren't useless,"

I peer at her. "You really think that's a good idea?"

She shrugs. "Well, yeah, they already probably don't wanna play with two girls when they're professionals."

"... Professionals? What do you mean professionals?"

She shrugs and then gets into stance, swinging her arm a few times. "Like, Ben told me Danny's the captain of the team and got a scholarship to freaking Dartmouth because his GPA is almost as good as his arm strength."

I gape at her. "He's going to Dartmouth? That's like three hours away from Brown! If we..." I trail off when I notice that Nicole is grinning at me.

She giggles and then throws the ball up in the air. "Look at you, planning your whole college life around him,"

"Shut up and pitch the ball," I grumble, causing her to full on laugh.

With finesse, Nicole swings back her arm and throws a killer sharp curveball at me. If we hadn't endured the softball team together for three years then I would've dropped the bat and ran but instead I brace myself and wait for it to get to me.

The ball collides with the metal bat, producing a sharp sound. It glides through the air, whistling slightly and I shield my eyes from the sun as I watch it glides through the air, feeling pretty proud of myself.

"Girl you go!" Nicole says, looking impressed. I nod, chuffed, before it makes it's descent to the ground...

And hits the guy with the helmet straight on the head.

Ooh.

He stumbles, I gasp. His friends stop walking, circling him to check if he's okay. I start panicking, even more so when they take off their helmet and pick up the offending ball. He looks over to our general area and spots me staring at him with my mouth wide, still holding the bat.

Is it possible for people to die of embarrassment and shame? Because I'm pretty sure I'm about to die.

"I can't believe you hit him," Nicole says suddenly, making me jump. She giggles when she notices how frazzled I am.

"Oh. My. Goodness." I say. She laughs some more and then nudges me, almost mockingly.

"Come on, Ken, let's go see who you almost killed,"

Then, before I can decipher her words, she begins pulling me along to the circle of boys. Even though Nicole is a slow speaker, she has the strength of a thousand lions and is as fast as a cheetah when it matters to her. Within moments, we're right by the group and she's checking the damages.

"It literally came out of nowhere," the guy is saying, back towards us. He shakes his head.

"Oh my God, I am so sorry!" I blurt out, taking this opportunity to apologise. It's now or never, right? "I just hit the ball and it decided that your head was a great target and ... oh."

He turns around and words fail me. Why? Well, because it's Danny.

RIP Kennedy Freedom Johnson, seventeen years old. She had dreams of being a botanist but then dreams die when people die.

"Kennedy?" he says, rubbing the back of his head. Danny's staring at me with disbelief, looking me up and down like I crawled straight from the pits of hell. A murmur goes up in his group and I open and close my mouth, unable to speak. "Holy shit, Kennedy, did you hit that ball?"

Because of my sudden disability when it comes to the speech department, I simply nod. His eyes widen slightly. He opens his mouth to say something, closes it, stops, puts his hand to his chin and looks at me thoughtfully. It's as if he's thinking of a good way to put me down.

I look down and close my eyes as he opens his mouth once again, bracing myself for the sudden impact of his words. It's gonna hurt, right? Because like, he's so hot and my heart won't be able to take it.

"You've got a pretty good arm."

Goodbye life! It was fun while it lasted, I made great friends, kissed a bunch of people, had a heart wrenchingly awkward crush on the boy who just – wait, what?

Startled, I look up. Everyone else has decided that our little reunion of so few words isn't that important anymore and has begun walking away. Nicole pats my shoulder and skips away as Danny begins to throw and catch the ball, a cute grin on his face. I suddenly feel like I'm in enemy territory and he's just getting ready to tear into me.

"What?" I say.

He bites his lip and looks away from me. "Well, you've got a pretty good arm. I mean, I really felt that hit, it's like you put five years of teenage angst into it." Then he looks me up and down. "Wait, you're still seventeen, aren't you?"

Feeling a little like Kermit the frog, I blink at him a few times. Then, with frog-ish intuition, I repeat: "What?"

Danny laughs loudly. I think the ball may have caused some serious damage to his brain.

"You were always pretty funny, Kennedy," He says and smiles at me while I just stare.

I can't believe what's happening right now.

"Yeah, um. Hey, Danny." I manage to gargle out, sounding like a starved octopus. Or like what I'd imagine one to sound like since I've never heard a – whatever, I'll shut up.

His eyebrows shoot upwards. "Shit, haven't heard that one in a while. Call me Dante,"

"Dante?"

"My full name." He explains.

"Oh, I know your full name," I mutter and then cringe. Again, he laughs and continues smiling at me like I just gave him twenty billion dollars.

But I didn't.

"I think we should catch up with the others," he says and gestures in front of him for me to walk. "After you,"

Sucking in an unsteady breath, I begin making my way after the other people who I have not formally introduced myself to. They all probably think I'm deranged, which isn't a far off judgement but still, it's too soon for them to be thinking that. It is what it is.

He walks next to me, not saying a word. It's as if all the smiles and laughter has vanished and the fact that I really could've killed him has finally settled in his brain. I'm expecting him to run away from me any second now.

"So Kennedy, what's good?" He asks all of a sudden, lifting his head up to meet my gaze. I immediately look away, feeling happy for a moment that even if I did blush, he wouldn't be able to see it because of my skin tone.

"Not much," I shrug and then look up again. "By the way, you don't have to call me Kennedy, you can just call me Ken or Kenny,"

Danny – DANTE – shrugs. "I like calling you Kennedy. It's cute."

What was that sound?!

Never mind, it's just the sound of my thirteen year old self having an aneurysm.

"Heh." I vocalise, stopping in the grass. "Cute, huh?"

He continues on and then looks back at me, squinting slightly. "Kennedy, you okay?"

His words suddenly spur me to keep moving and I hurry to catch up, feeling this sudden burst of energy and joy. Who knows where they're from, huh? "I'm good! I never asked, but how's your head doing, Danny- Dante,"

With a smile, he shrugs. "It's not too bad. Good thing I was wearing Santi's helmet because you could've given me a concussion,"

I look at him sceptically. "You sure you don't have one now?"

He grins, specifically at me. "I'm good." Then, in the friendliest of movements, Dante nudges my shoulder. "How's high school been?"

"Long," We reach the small group of mainly boys who are setting up and assigning positions. "How's it been for you? I see you cut your high top off and grew like, three foot taller."

He chuckles and covers his face. "Please can we not bring up the high top? I was a mess back in middle school, I thought I was so fresh as well,"

"Fresh Prince of Pasadena," I mutter and then share a smile with him, "Hey, it has a good ring to it,"

"Oh, stop it," He nudges me with his elbow again and I begin laughing.

From the corner of my eye I catch Nicole smiling devilishly at me, so I pretend that I don't see her.

"I heard you were like practically a professional baseball player," I blurt out, startling him slightly. This expression changes when he registers what I just said and he begins to look abashed.

"Not really," He says, but he won't stop cheesing at the grass. It's like he's trying to play it off cool but his slightly dorky side won't let him. "I, um, was recruited for the Dartmouth team though so if college baseball goes well then maybe,"

"Dartmouth!" I feign surprise. "Wow, that's a really good college – isn't it Ivy League?"

He shrugs and tries to hide his smile but the ability to do so evades him. "Yeah, my sister was pretty proud."

"As she should be, that's so cool," I praise and smile at him. "I remember you being like, the best on the middle school team,"

As he is about to reply, someone calls his name and he looks up briefly distracted before looking back at me. "Hey, Kennedy, I'll be right back, okay?"

He reaches out and squeezes my shoulder, smiling gently before he rushes over to where a Hispanic boy with a killer ponytail waits for him. Nicole skips over towards me with the same devilish smile on her face and then slaps the shoulder he just squeezed with the utmost strength.

"Bitch!" She exclaims.

"Ow?!" I hold onto my poor shoulder and pout at her. "Why would you –"

"Tell me he isn't completely infatuated with you!" She lowers her voice, grinning like she's the Cheshire cat.

"He is not," I sigh and she makes a noise of disbelief. "What?"

"Kenny, you're not stupid," She says and then throws her head back. "Like, you literally almost killed him and he's just been smiling at every word you've said,"

She does have a point. "You think he has a concussion after all?"

Her face suddenly drops. "He might be sick,"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, love sick!" Then she start laughing loudly, showing off her teeth and attracting more attention towards herself. A heavily tattooed boy wielding a baseball bat looks at her and licks his lips like he likes what he sees. He probably does, Nicole is way too good looking for her own good.

"Stop this madness," I chastise her but she blows me off with a simple wave of her hand.

"Whatever, denial is the first stage of a relationship," she says.

"I thought denial was the first stage of recovery?"

"Denial is the first stage of a relationship." She repeats firmly this time. "And before you argue with me about your new boyfriend, just know that I, the great Nicolette of Pasadena," She stretches her arms out and does the jazz hands comically. "Have signed us both up to be batters!"

"Batters?" I question. "Wait, we're playing?"

She straightens up and looks at me as if I've grown another head. "Of course we're playing, Ken, I thought we established that before you almost killed-"

"Please stop bringing that up,"

"I won't."

word count: 2986

a/n: pandasexual