Jessica's P.O.V.

I blinked open my eyes expecting to still be laying on the stairs. But my back was against a soft mattress and the ceiling was white. The room was dimly lit, giving it an eery glow.

I bolted upright gasping when pain shot through my head. I quickly forgot about the pain when panic seized me.

I tried to keep my breathing under control, but before I knew it I was gasping in huge breaths yet not enough of it reaching my lungs.

"Help." I screamed, but my throat was so dry it came out as more of a whimper.

I struggled to get out of bed, trying to untangle myself from the sheets. I finally managed and collapsed on the floor, my breathing shallow. I crawled over to the door and was about to turn the knob when someone came bursting in.

I screamed and curled myself into a ball.

"Hey, it's okay honey." A soft voice said. I looked up and to my relief saw a nurse's kind face looking back at me.

I relaxed a little bit, but my breath still came in short gasps.

"Come here. Breathe with me okay? In... Out... In..." She continued until I had my breathing back under control."Let's get you back in bed okay?"

I nodded and she helped me stand up. I walked to the bed and sat down. She pulled the covers over me and put a wire that I had ripped out back in my arm.

"It's only 6 in the morning, but do you think you would feel better if your sister came in?" She asked.

I blinked, sister? Since when did I have a sister.

"Uhh sure." I said racking my brain as to who it could be.

"Okay, I'll go get her. " She smiled warmly before walking out the door.

I sighed and flipped on a little light switch beside my bed. The light blinked on illuminating the room. Making it seem less creepy and more like a hospital. I wondered what had happened. How did Eleanor get to the house? Or did someone else find me laying there.

"Jess!" Eleanor said excitedly running over and hugging my tight.

"Sister?" I asked puzzled, but with a hint of humor.

"Yeah... They wouldn't let me updated on your condition otherwise."

"Mhm I see. Makes sense. What did happen? How did you get to the house?" I questioned, confused.

"I took a taxi because you were late and you're never late. And when I got to the house you were passed out on the stairs. What happened?" She threw the question back at me.

"I don't really know. I just had a bad panic attack I think, it's a little blurry." I knew, of course, what had happened. But I didn't want to drag her into my problems. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to her.

"Oh... Okay." She said softly. She sat beside my bed on a chair that was placed there and grabbed my hand for reassurance.

"Does Niall know?" I asked my heart jumping... I didn't want him to be worried about me when he had shows to perform.

"Yeah, I called him yesterday. He's coming to visit today actually." She smiled at me and I smiled back.

"Oh, I can't wait to see him." I said truly excited. I had missed him like crazy, but I felt bad that he was putting his tour on hold for his girlfriend.

"He can't wait to see you either." She said squeezing my hand.

She sat with me the rest of the morning just talking to me.

"Hey I'm going to go get some coffee." El said smiling and standing up.

"Okay." I threw a small smile back at her and watched as she walked out the door.

It had only been a few minutes when the door swung open. I looked up expecting to see Eleanor, but instead Niall was standing there a worried look on his face.

"Niall!" I squealed like a little girl.

He crossed the room in a few big steps and enveloped me in a hug. Tears started rolling down my face as I squeezed him tight.

"I-I missed you so much." I sniffed into his shoulder.

"Me to love. Are you okay? What happened?" He pulled away from our hug and held me at arms length his eyes full of concern.

"I had a, a panic attack. I'm sorry to have worried you." I felt bad about making him worried over me. I wasn't worth the worry.

"No, don't be sorry." He pulled me in for another hug cradling my head in his hand.

"I know, it's just I feel like, like you worry so much about me. I'm always having problems." I started to cry and I gritted my teeth. I wasn't even strong enough to not cry. I was utterly pathetic.

I calmed down in a few minutes, although inside I was far from calm.

"You okay now?" Niall asked grabbing my hand and giving it a little squeeze.

"Yeah, I'm good." I said trying to sound as convincing as possible, maybe I would tell him later. "I have to go to the bathroom though."

"Okay, I'll be out here." He smiled and helped me out of bed.

I walked over to the bathroom, and shut the door, I turned the lock and sank to the floor wrapping my hands around my knees. Tears started streaming out and I pressed my hands against my mouth so Niall wouldn't hear me cry.

I was so tired of life, tired of panic attacks, tired of being scared of love. I pushed those thoughts aside and collected myself quickly knowing he would get suspicious of I stayed to long in the bathroom.

I splashed some water on my face and dried it with a scratchy paper towel. I took a quick look in the mirror to make sure I didn't look to bad and flushed the toilet before unlocking the door and stepping out.

So... What do you guys think? I know its been a little while, but I've been super busy! Love you all and thanks for reading! It means a lot!
~Ash