The tour went great, and the program seemed just as good as on the website. I was so excited at the prospect of going there and couldn't wait. The campus was nice as well, it was surrounded by trees and wildlife and had a nice calming feel. We were currently at Nando's, I mean where else would we be? eating dinner with the rest of the boys.

It was a nice end to the day and it was equally nice to relax and just chat with them. Goodness how I've changed I remember being terrified to talk to any of them. Now it was relaxing. What time does for you, it's surprising.

"Jess." Louis said poking me in the shoulder.

I blinked, oops I had dazed off again. "Yeah?" I said sheepishly hoping I hadn't missed something to important.

"Just wondering if you're with us." He laughed after he said it and I joined him.

"Yep, I am I was just thinking." I shoved him back a smile on my face.

The rest of the night I managed to stay out of my head and stay engaged. I was riding with Niall in his car while the rest of the boys rode in a different one when he broke the bad news.

"Jess, we're going to be going on a short tour soon." He said with a sigh." And you can't come, sorry."

"Why not?" I asked wondering why they wouldn't want me along, what I had done wrong.

"Because there isn't enough room in the bus we have for this tour." He sounded sad about it, so I guessed he had tried to make them accommodate me.

"Okay," I said trying not to panic at the thought of being alone." Will I just stay at the house by myself?" I hoped not, but I guess I could manage.

"No, well for the first few days you'll be by yourself, but then Eleanor is coming to stay with you for the rest."

"Good. I guess it won't be so bad I'll get to spend a lot of time with her catching up on things." I said thinking out loud. This was infinitely better then being alone the whole time. I'm sure I could survive a few days.

"When are you leaving? And how long is it?" I hoped not to soon.

"Two days from now, and it's three weeks long."

"Two days! Why didn't you tell me earlier? Short, that doesn't seem very short." I exclaimed freaking out. Two days, I thought maybe more like a week or two. But no they would just suddenly leave. And for three whole weeks! How did he classify that as a short tour.

"Because I didn't know until today that you wouldn't be able to come. Sorry, I guess I should've told you earlier." He apologized.

"It's fine. I'll be fine." Maybe if I said it out loud it would make it true. Who knows if I would actually be fine.

I slept in Niall's room the whole time that night, wanting to spend as much time with him as possible before he left, even if we were both asleep. The next two days seemed to fly by and before I knew it, it was the morning when he would leave.

I woke up when he started moving around, probably getting clothes out. I had helped him pack earlier so he only had a few clothes left in his dresser. I yawned and sat up.

"Morning love, did you sleep well?" He asked in his adorable morning voice.

"Yeah, I did." I stayed on his bed not bothering to get dressed. He would be leaving soon and I obviously wanted to say goodbye to him, to all of them. It was going to be a lonely five days before El came.

He was in and out of the bathroom quickly and dressed in no time. I looked at the time 8:00, they had to leave at 9:00. Just enough time for breakfast and goodbyes. I grabbed his hand and we walked downstairs. Nobody else was down there so I started making some pancakes. Tons of them considering all of the boys were going to be eating.

I cooked away and put them all on a large plate except some I kept out for Niall and me. We sat down beside each other and ate. He was clearly to busy stuffing his face with pancakes to talk, but I was eating more slowly thinking of him leaving. I sighed and tried not to let the panic inside show, I didn't want to worry him.

"You okay?" He stopped shoveling in the pancakes long enough to look at me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said forcing a small smile.

"Okay." He said looking doubtful, but letting it go.

I finished up my breakfast and washed Niall's plate along with mine. Louis had come down a few minutes ago as had Liam, but Harry was still to appear.

I sat back down beside Niall and waited till the boys finished eating. There was the usual playful chatter, but I wasn't really listening. I was to focused on trying to make it till they left without breaking into tears or having a panic attack.

Before I knew it the clock chimed 9 and it was time for them to go. I breathed deeply reassuring myself it was going to be okay.

"Bye." I said to each of them as I hugged them. Nobody looked worried about leaving me, so maybe I was overreacting if they thought I would be fine, then maybe I would.

I hugged Niall last and longest. I pulled back tears in my eyes and kissed him softly.

"You'll be fine." He said reassuringly hugging me again." I'll be back soon, before you know it."

"Okay, bye. I'll call you tonight." I said sniffing.

"I love you." He mumbled into my hair.

"Love you to." I regretting it pulled away and watched them walk out the door.

The second they left I started crying. Five days, how was I going to be okay for that long by myself? I wiped my eyes and went into the living room. I turned on some television to occupy myself.

A few hours had passed and I was getting tired of mindlessly staring at the television. I needed to get out of the house. I grabbed my camera and sketchbook and headed out the door. I breathed in the fresh air already feeling better. Nature has a way of doing that. I walked to the park and took a seat on a random bench.

I sat there for a while snapping a few pictures every once and a while and drawing a bit, but mostly soaking up the warm sun rays and focusing my mind on something else other then the empty house I would have to go back to.

The sun started setting and I realized how hungry I was, I hadn't eaten since what little breakfast I had. I shrugged I'm sure missing a few meals wouldn't hurt me, I hadn't been very careful with what I had been eating recently anyway.

I walked back slowly taking my time. It's not as if anybody was waiting for me at home. I arrived at the house and went straight to my room shutting the door and locking it. It was creepy being home alone, and call me superstitious but one can never be to safe.

I sat on my bed and was about to pull out my guitar when my phone rang. I practically leaped over to grab it off my dresser. Niall! I answered right away.

"Hey love, how was your day?" He asked softly.

"It was pretty good, boring without you though." I said truthfully.

"Good, well." He said yawning." I would love to talk to you more, but I have to get some sleep we have an early interview tomorrow."

"Oh, okay. Good night, love you." I said frowning, I thought we would talk more.

"Good night love you to." He hung up and I sat there phone in hand defeated.

Maybe he already didn't like me, he couldn't even take time to talk more with me? I started crying and flopped back on my bed. I should have known, this would probably make him realize how annoying I was, how clingy. Since he was away from me he would probably realize how nice his life was without me making everything complicated.

I cried till my head hurt and my eyes were red and puffy. I got changed and went to the bathroom to wash my face before I turned in for the night. I opened my bathroom drawer to get out a washcloth and spotted my razor blades in the back. I took them out and held them in my hand. Why not? He wasn't here to stop me. I wasn't even sure he really loved me. I shook my head and shoved them back in the drawer where they belonged. I had promised him. I couldn't do it, I would feel so guilty.

I washed my face quick and lay down in bed. I lay for what felt like forever before I finally drifted off to sleep.

So... What do you guys think of the sequel so far?

GUYS!!! I have some exciting news! I'm starting another book besides this one... I don't the title yet, but I just wanted to tell ya something new will be coming soon! I'll obviously keep working on this one so don't worry :))

Love you all!

~A.E