Waliyah's P.O.V.

After a full day of sightseeing, and exploring the city of Athens, the four of us came back home feeling super tired. It completely slipped my mind that I still had to transfer most of my stuff into Samar's room. Groaning I pull Api up from the sofa as the boys watch TV to help me do so. Api stuffed my clothes in the small. suitcase careless claiming that the clothes were going to come out anyway. Rolling my eyes at her lazy behavior, we efficiently move my stuff into his room. . .I tried to look for an escape in his room not wanting to sleep on the same bed with him, but unlike my room, he did not have a pullout sofa in his room. 

Api sat on the bed tiredly, "Well that was exhausting,"  She said bluntly, before lying down and looking up at the ceiling, "I so need a hot bath right now."

Climbing on the bed beside her I say, "Or a night with Bhai," I winked at her, causing her cheeks to turn bright red. 

"Wafa," She giggled hitting my thigh, "Stop," Even after all these years, if the three of us sisters begin to tease her about her and. Bhai's marriage activities, she shied away as if Dua was not walking evidence of it. "I seriously need a shower."

"Mhm," I say chuckling, "Sure."

"If anyone needs a night of pleasure, that's you." Api turned on her stomach with a smirk on her face, as mine fell.  She knew how I felt about this topic because I would never be with Samar. 

"With who?" I ask bluntly, "My imaginary boyfriend?" 

Api rolled her eyes at me, "Come on Wafa," 

"Api, I am not speaking about this. I am not comfortable talking about this, and it will not happen with him because we are going through a divorce." I say firmly, "So stop, I mean it."

"Sorry," Api apologized, "I dont mean to pressure you in any way, I was just teasing you the same you were teasing me Wafa."  I know she did not say anything with bad intentions, but at times it seemed as if everyone wanted us to get back together as if they didnt know what I had gone through the past years. It was frustrating and annoying. 

"It's okay," I breathed out, 

Api sat up, "I actually am really tired," She admitted, "Goodnight," 

"Goodnight," I waved bye to her as she walked out of the room shutting the door behind her. I know it may seem as if I killed the mood but with our families, it was better to cut. the string of expectations before they grew too big.  Rolling out of bed, I walked into the. bathroom, and began to change my clothes. . right now the bigger question is where am I going to sleep?

. . . 

Samar and I awkwardly stand in the room looking at one another, "You can sleep on the bed," He said quietly, "I'll sleep on the sofa outside." Outside? If Api and Bhai woke up then it would be an issue.  

I shook my head, "No," 

"No?" Samar said confused, "I dont want you to be uncomfortable Wada, it's okay I can sleep outside."

"Samar," I stop him gently grabbing his hand as he tried to leave the room,  "Api and Bhai are outside and by the way. Api was speaking to me a few minutes ago, they both are on Bauji's. side. This will be reported to him, so. . ." It felt so weird to say, "We can sleep on the bed, but you need to stay on your chosen side, and I will stay on my side."

A soft smile tugged at Samar's lips as he nodded, "Understood,"

We both turn to look at the bed, "So what side do you sleep on?" 

Samar chuckled climbing on the bed first taking the left side, which is the side I usually take, "This one."

Curtly nodding I walk around to the right side and lay down facing away from him, at the very end of the bed, wanting to maintain as much space as possible. "Wafa," Samar said softly, "I dont bite, you can move more onto the bed."

I shake my head, squeezing my eyes shut, "I am fine,"  Even though I felt as if I made the. smallest move I would fall onto the floor. I just need him to fall asleep and then I can relax and readjust my position.  I heard Samar take a deep breath in before wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him, in a panic I began to fight against him. "Samar, I told you I am fine," I say stubbornly,  turning around in his grip I push against his chest, with all. my might as he holds me. "Seriously,"

"Wafa,  stop being so stubborn," Samar said irritated, 

"I am not being so stubborn,"  I argue, keeping him at arm's distance, "I did you a favor by not sending you outside, stop pushing it."

Samar narrowed his eyes at me, "Excuse me?"

"Stay within your limits," I said firmly,  

Grabbing my wrists he easily pushed back rolling me onto. my back, as he. pinned. my hands down against the mattress.  My legs were trapped between his, as he had them locked with his on either side. Since I fought as much as I could against him as he tried this, my breathing got a lot faster, as did his. . .Samar leaned down causing me to flinch back and press myself harder against the mattress wanting to gain distance.  "I am staying within my limits," Samar said dropping his voice to a husky tone. My eyes frantically searched his as he leaned down closer, "Technically I am still your husband Wafa, and our papers may have been filed but your name is still joined with mine. I  am not into this marital power shit, but if you keep pushing my  limits. . .maybe just maybe  I will decide to turn  to it." My stomach dropped, and his lips were a breath away from mine. Samar's eyes flickered down to my lips, my heart skipped a beat as he bit his bottom lip as if he was trying to hold himself back. "I don't bite," His voice turned coarse,  letting go of my hands he rested his forearms on the bed so his body was flush against mine, I felt his weight against me,  it was as if air couldnt even pass through us. . .that was how close we were. "Unless you ask of course," 

"In your dreams," I say as firmly as  I could, "Now get off of me,"

Samar smirked at me, not moving an inch "Dear Wifey," He said cockily, "I am sure your best friend told you I have a habit of holding a large pillow as I sleep, you know something for comfort, but since I have no pillow because you are  here, I have may have to hold you."

"Amal didn't tell me anything." I say quickly, "And I  have asked you many times to let me go, you are holding me against my will. So  Mr Qureshi, if you would snap out of your dream world that would be  great." I  have no idea why he brought Amal up in this awkward situation. 

He shook his head chuckling,  the bed shook from his laughter. I didnt understand what was so funny, about this situation. Irritated at his strange behaviour I sat up needing a breather from everything. I ignore his gaze, go out of the room, and sit in the living room wrapping a small blanket around my body.  

"Why did you fall in love with me?" His question echoed in my mind, as my body tiredly laid on the couch. 

"Please, mujhe chor ke maat jao." (Please, do not leave me) He whined in his sleep, "Amal," I tossed and turned on the couch, as the two senarios flashed back and forth in my mind. "Wapas aajao na," (Come back) 

"Why did you fall in love with me?" My eyes snapped. open again. I lay awake once again, staring up at the ceiling. What has my life come to?

I used to be so happy,  such a bright carefree girl, whose life revolved around becoming a teacher and wanting to make a change in her parent's life. It still is, but there's that corner of my heart, and my brain that keeps going back to the man laying inside of that room. 

The man who is so hard to figure out. . .on one hand he acts as if he will never forget Amal,  and then on the other hand he begins to question my feelings and my heart. 

I felt the sofa dip snapping me out of my thoughts, I looked down at the ground to see Samar sitting infront of the sofa, as his head rested. near my lap, not on it, but on the edge of the sofa.  

"Samar," I say tired of arguing with him,  "I am not in the mood to fight."

"Neither am I," He whispered just as tired as I was, "Am I really that bad in your eyes Wafa?" 

I didn't know how I felt about him anymore, my brain said one thing, and my heart said another. I always say Samar is confused but this time I am. "At times," I answer back truthfully not looking at him, afraid I would cry once. again. 

"I really hurt you," He said louder clearing his voice, "And I know at times my actions dont go along with my words Wafa, and I know you have said that me saying this does not help you at all but. . ." Here are the three words that I have been hearing a lot for the past few days. "I truly, am really really sorry." I keep quiet, "I-I should have gone to counseling when you asked me to, I should have gotten help, but I swear as soon as everything back reality to me, you left me. . .I got help." Is he saying that my leaving him was the last straw for him. . .

"Did you know you still call for her in your sleep?" I ask softly as my tears betray me. I quickly wipe them away not wanting them to catch his attention. 

"What?" He said turning to look at me, "I-I"

"You do." I confirm,  "When you were sick," My voice cracked unintentionally as the pain of having this conversation became unbearable, "Delirious because of your high temperature, you called for her. . asking her to come back, begging her to stay with you..."

"I still see her in my dreams from time to time." Samar admitted, "I miss her, a lot."

Breathing out shakily as my. bottom lip began to quiver I said, "I miss her too," My chest tightened at the thought of her, all our childhood memories flooding through my mind. "More than you know."

"You think she's watching us?" He asked me softly, looking up at the ceiling like I was, "Do you think she would be happy with how we are now?"

"I hope she's not." I say inhaling sharply, "We arnt anything she wanted us to be. . .she wanted us to be happy, to be together but here we are fighting any chance we get, and. . waiting to be released from this relationship."

"She would," Samar agreed, "But we are doing what is best for us Wafa,"

"That is true," It had been a long time since we. just had a conversation, no arguments, no taunts, no tears or anger. . just a normal calm conversation. Something we lacked in the last four years and six months... Maybe this is progress. 

"Wafa?"

"Mhm?" 

"Why did you fall in love with me?" His question made my heart skip a beat. 

"I dont know," I answered hoping it would stop him from asking me again, "It just happened Samar. I didnt ask to fall in love with you or plan to. . it just happened. One day I. was helping you win Amal over and then the next I fell for you. Your kindness, your heart... just you." I turned to my side. so I was looking at him, "Why did you want to know?"

Samar turned to face me, "Ever since you left this question haunted. me, I wanted to figure out what I did to make you feel as if I had feelings towards you to cause you to love me the extent you did. But now that you have told me, I realize-"

"It wasnt your fault." I say smiling softly at him, "It was mine,"

"Wafa,"

"No," I stop him, "I may not have had a choice when I fell in love with you. Samar, but I did have a choice to leave. I thought I could change you but that was my fault, the damage that you did to me emotionally and mentally was unfair, but at a point. . .I could have left." I exhale deeply, "So I did,  and when I did, I realized that my love wasnt enough for you to change but my absence was, my. anger towards you is your behavior and the words you said to me that I can never forget or forgive. . but you do not have to blame yourself for making me fall in love with you, because that. . .was done by me. I fell in love with you, and I will own up to that." My love, my heart, my problem. . .but his words, his action, that was on him. 

Samar turned completely so he was on his knees facing me, "We really messed up didn't we?"

"That we did."

"Do you think we will ever be able to fix this?"

I smile sadly at him, "I don't think so," If we did,  I would myself would be surprised. . .

Samar and I aren't meant to be together, and that was the sad, but true reality.