Waliyah's P.O.V.

Helping Samar sit up, I set a small tray on his lap that had his breakfast neatly displayed infront of him.  "Thank you," He said smiling at me.

Sitting down infront of him on the bed I nodd, "You're welcome," I watch him as he begins to eat, his hands are shaking,  spilling some of the soup on his shirt. "Samar." I say firmly, "Here, let me." I take the spoon from him and begin to gently stir the soup around the contents from the bottom to give the dish a proper taste.  Lifting the spoon. up to his mouth, I see him raise an eyebrow at me. "Take it." 

He leaned back avoiding the spoon,  'I am not a kid."

"Samar, your hands are shaking due to you feeling cold. You still have a fever and-"

"Since when did you start caring about me?" He cut me off. "I thought you hated me, so what is with all the special treatment?"

I roll my eyes at him and rest the spoon back in the bowl,  "I am not cold-hearted like you." I know he wouldn't like to answer but if he wanted to argue then I would, "Yes I hate you, but like you said we are each other's responsibilities,  and right now you are sick, so I am taking care of you whether you like it or not."  I didn't tell him last night that I heard him call out for. Amal is in his delirious state.  I didn't want to embarrass him,  and I also wanted to avoid the topic of feelings around him. "So stop acting like a kid,  and let me help you."

"I have a heart too."  Samar said softly,  "I just think you stopped believing it a long time ago." It bothered me that he said that, but for the sake of time. and energy, I lifted a spoonful up for him again keeping quiet. He takes this time, avoiding eye contact with me. 

Until he finished the soup we kept quiet,  only hearing the waves crashing on the sand, which was not far from the small family home we were staying at. Finishing the last bit of the soup, I stand up and grab the tray I prepared for him.  "Wafa." Samar called my name as I slipped on my slippers. 

I look at him, "What?"

"Sorry for ruining your trip," It was the second of our so-called Honeymoon and the only thing I saw was the one site I went to yesterday the rest of my time has gone by taking care of him. 

I offered him a small smile, "It's okay," I honestly was okay, it only meant we had three more days of tolerating one another.  Time was passing by. faster this way,  and it made it a bit bearable. Walking out of the room, I set the dishes in the sink, before. turning around. I enjoy the beautiful view of our backyard. 

Samar came out of his room shortly after I sat down on the couch, getting ready to turn on the TV. "Kya dekh rahi ho?" (What are you watching?) He asked dragging his blanket behind him. 

Chuckling at the site I say, "I don't know, still looking." 

He looked at me curiously, "What are you laughing at?" 

"Nothing," I try to cover up my smile, "I just.  . sometimes you truly do act like a kid.  The way you walked out of the room with your blanket reminded me of Malli with she is sick, she acts the exact same way."

Samar smiled as well, "Amma says that a lot too. As soon as I get sick,  she  begins to compare me to Faraz."

"Well to be fair, Faraz does act like he is about to die anytime he gets a cough." I say giggling, "Remember last year?  He had to miss a week of school because he refused to get out of bed."

He nodded, "Yeah, Baba had to literally drag him out of his bed to take him to school the next Monday." 

It felt nice talking to one another, without biting each other's heads off. It reminded me of when we first began speaking to one another when he asked me to help him win over Amal. It felt as if we were friends. . . Looking down at the remote as old thoughts swirled in my mind I tried to push back any kind of emotion that would cause conflict between us. 

"I am feeling a lot better." Samar said cutting through the silence, "I think by tomorrow we could go exploring, if you want."

I look up at him suprised, "Together?" 

He cleared his throat awkwardly,  "It's been a while since I have been here, so I was thinking we could,  but if-"

"Together is fine."  I got so bored yesterday walking around alone. "Some company would be nice."

A soft smile tugged at his lips, "Sounds good." I know I have to be civil here, there was no point of having this constant push and pull here.  I just hoped it didn't bring any other thoughts to his head, that I would never be able to provide for him. If he thinks, that. this will make me come back to him then. . .he's wrong. 

Licking my lips I hand him the remote, "Pick something," I say softly,  "I'll prepare some tea." 

He noticed the shift in my behaviour but he kept quiet. "Okay."

I may love you Samar, but I won't forgive you... And I am NOT sorry for that. 

.  . .

"Kaisa chal raha hain sab?" (How is everything going?) Amma asked me smiling broadly. I inhaled sharply, debating if I should lie to her, or if I should tell her the truth. "Wafa?"

"Acha jaa raha hain." (Everything is fine) I chose to lie, of course, I did not want to burden her with my problems. "Samar is alittle sick, I think because of the weather change, but thankfully the. pharamxy. was close so we were able to access medications easily."

"Travelling does that too." Baba said sitting beside her,  "I thought he would be a good traveller."

"He is," I say breathing out heavily,  "It's. just a lot colder here than we expected Baba and back home it is so hot right now."

"Woh bhi ho sakta hain." (It can be that too) He replied. Baba hated the idea of me returning back to the Qureshi household, but he also trusted me.  He always put his faith in me that I know what I am doing for myself.  He says, out of all his children I have the best sense of wrong and right, but I highly disagree with him because if I did, then I wouldnt be in the situation. 

"Ayra kaisi hai?" (How is Ayra?) I ask them wanting to change the topic off of us, "Still heavily pregnant?"

Amma chuckled,  "She will be coming home until the delivery." 

"Why?" I say curiously,  "Haider, kahan jaa raha hain?" (Where is Haider?) Ideally, he should be with her, "Api never came back home to deliver Dua, so why is Ayra coming back?" Not that I had a problem, but it seemed as if they were going through problems.  

Baba breathed out heavily, "Haider is going out of town for a few weeks, and Ayra wanted to come home because his mother has been having mood swings lately.  She begins to criticize her, and just argues over nonsense. Haider has been looking for a small home away, from his parents but for that, he needs to find a steady source of income." 

"Ab Khala ko kya hua hai?" (What is wrong with her now?) I asked irritated "Baba,  does she not realize our Ayra is pregnant?"

"That is exactly why Haider also wants her to come home,  I do not know what is. wrong with her either." Amma cut in, "Once her pregnancy comes to an end,  Baba and I will go. and speak with her."

Good,  "I will come too." 

"Wafa," Baba shook his head,  "Tum batameezi karogi," (You will behave rudely with her)

"Bab-"

"I know I shouldn't speak in your family matters," Samar said softly causing me to jump alittle because I thought I was alone. Samar came to sit beside me,  on my bed, "But Ayaan Khalu, I think you should take Wafa with you. She has always protected her sisters, so in a matter like this, she should be there." Surprised by the support he provided me, a sense of pride sparked in me.  

Baba breathed out heavily,  "We will think it over." Not confirming anything, "How are you? Wafa was telling us you are feeling alittle under the weather."

"I am feeling a lot better now Khalu." He smiled at me,  "She has taken really good care of me."

Hearing that, a slight blush took over my cheeks, what Baba said next filled the room with silence though, "If only you knew how to take good care of her." My heart skipped a beat as Samar sat beside me stunned not knowing what to say back to him. 

"Ayaan," Amma said softly, "Beta, he didnt mean to say that."  Oh, Baba meant to say exactly that. "Tum dono apna khyal rakho, theek hai?"  (You two take care of each other okay?)

"Theek hai, Amma." (Okay, Amma) I say awakrdly before hanging up the phone. I looked over at Samar,  who seemed as if he had stopped breathing for a second, "Samar. . ." What should I say? "Baba is just being protective."

"He didn't say anything wrong," Samar admitted softly, "I didn't take care of you, infact I did the opposite." I could not believe my ears, "Wafa, I do not know if I ever said this to you but,' He looked into my eyes, they were filled with grief and sadness, "I am truly sorry, for everything." I cannot beleive he just apologized to me.  "I am sorry, Waliyah Ayaan Sultan, please forgive me."

At that moment I wanted to forgive everything and jump into his arms, but that was the difference between wanting something and needing something. . .

I wanted to forgive Samar,  but what I needed for my own sake was to stay away from Samar, so I stood up shaking my head, gaining some distance away from him. "No,"  I whisper, "No I will not forgive you."  I am doing this for myself, call me selfish, but staying away from him was the best thing for me. "Sorry doesn't fix anything. Samar, I told you the day I bought the divorce papers to you. I told you the damage you have done is irreversible and I meant it. So please forgive me Samar Adeel Qureshi,  but I Waliyah Ayaan Sultan, will not forgive you. . . I didn't forgive you. then, I won't forgive you now,  I will not forgive you in the future."

Samar stood infront of me with his head hung, the complete opposite of his personality which confused me,  why wasnt he fighting back? "Do you hear me Samar?"

"I heard you." He said, "I heard you then, and. I heard you now but that does not mean I am going to give up."  What did he mean by that?  "I am not asking you to come back into my life Wafa because I know that isnt healthy for you or for me,  but what I am asking is if we can have a clean slate. I want us to both have closure something that you. are withholding from both of us."

"Excuse me?" I cross my arms, "I have moved on,  in the past. six months I have gotten so much further in my life than I ever would be stuck with you." I wanted my words to hurt,  "It is you who is stuck on this stupid subject. You and I both know why we are here,  and I am trying to be as civil as I can be with you but I won't be able to if you keep pushing your limits."

"Limitis?" Samar asked taken back, now it was his turn to cross his arms,  "All I am asking for his forgiveness Wafa."

"Which I have told you will not get from me."  I felt as if I was talking to a brick wall.  "Why is that so hard to understand?" I will not allow him to come back into my life, or have his way back into my heart.  

"And I am telling you that I won't stop until I get my forgiveness," Samar said just as adamant. "Wafa, you forgot how stubborn I am."

"Well you have no idea how stubborn I am," I retort back 

"Fine," Samar smirked dropping his arms to the side, "Then let's make a deal, by the end of this trip if I make you forgive me, you will have to do anything I ask you to do, and if I dont get your forgiveness by the end of this,  then I will have to do anything you ask me to do."

"Get ready to lose," I say cockily

"We'll see," Samar said amused,  "So deal?" He reached out with his hand for me to shake.  

Without giving it a second thought I shook his hand, "Deal."

You, Mr Samar Qureshi, have no idea,  how stubborn I am. 

Get ready to lose.