Waliyah's P.O.V.

"So how is Athens?" Api asked with excitement clear in her voice, as I rolled my eyes thanking the driver for opening the door for me. I had gotten up bright and early, leaving a note for Samar so he did not panick where I had disappeared too. 

"It's good. I just got to the Acropolis of Athens, the landmark we only saw in photos. " I say excitedly as I walk towards the line up to gain access, "It is so beautiful Api,"

She chuckled,  "I know, that was one of the first places Atif and I went to when we went on our honeymoon." I guess Greece is the chosen destination for the Qureshi family.  "Is Samar with you?"

"No." I say firmly, "He was still sleeping."

Api went quiet for a few seconds, "Right," She cleared her throat, "And you couldnt wake him up?" 

"No." I say just as bluntly before, "I am not his mother, and I have no interest in walking around with him. I told you all before Samar and I are not going to come together just because the family wants us to. What has happened is far beyond repair Api,  and I mean it."

"Wafa,"

"Bye," I had enough of that conversation and hung up the phone. I am not in the mood to deal with family bullshit.  Inhaling sharply I walk up the hill. and begin to look around amazed with the site that was surrounding me. "Woah," I whisper to myself. 

"Ma'am," A young girl ran after me holding pamphlets.

 I smiled down at her as I took one, "Thank you."  

She smiled at me showing off her dimples, "You're welcome," She said before she ran off. to. hand them to other tourists. I walked around the site taking photos and reading the history. behind everything. In one way I was grateful to Bauji for sending us here, at least I got the chance to step outside. of Pakistan, and. got the chance to explore what didnt have before. I can't help to imagine wonder what it would be like to have Amal here, with me, and see all of the things that I am seeing now.  

My eyes fill with tears as I sit down on a nearby bench, "I really miss you," I whisper out loud, hoping that if she was watching or anywhere around me she could see and hear how much I truly longed for her, for our friendship. . .for our sisterhood.  If she was still alive, then whatever happened between Samar and I never would have happened, we would be co-existing, maybe I would have found someone else. . maybe I would be happy. . . at peace instead of being in this the awkward and unwanted position that I am in now.  "I really do." I whispered again. 

My phone began buzzing since I had it on silent, it flashed Samar's name across the screen, and having no choice but to answer, I said, "Hello?" 

"When are you coming back?" He asked groggily, it sounded like he just woke up. 

"Why?" I ask, 

"Wafa, stop answering my question with a question." Samar began coughing. Is he feeling okay? 

"Probably in an hour." I sigh, "What's up?" Samar's cough got worse, "Samar?" He was fine last night, we went out to eat, and then we walked around in the neighborhood alittle, and we went into our respective rooms. What made him so sick?

I stood up from the bench, "I do not feel so good," He said huskily,  "Usually after travel I am fine, but I guess the weather change, didnt sit right with me." It was really cold over here compared to the weather over in Lahore.  "When you are coming back, could you bring some soup and medications please?"

I grew anxious at the state of his voice. He did sound super sick, and like he said in this foreign country, we only had each other. If I was his responsibility, then he was mine.  "I'll be back soon give me like 30 minutes."  Forget about sightseeing for now.  Rushing down the hill, I order another taxi and get in the car. "Sir, is there a pharamy any where. near here?"

The driver nodded,  "Yes. Ma'am, there is one just down the street from here."  

"Alright, let's go there first," I say. Suddenly I had this burning urge to get Samar as fast I can, I wanted to be there for him, no I needed to be there. for him. . .as soon as possible. 

He was all that mattered to me in this moment. . .and that scared me. 

. .  .

"Samar!" I exclaim running into the home, holding two bags of food, and medications. "Samar kahaan ho?" (Samar where are you?)

"In my room," He called back. Quickly setting the items down on the island in the kitchen I grab a water bottle and medications, and rush into his room. Samar is visibly shaking due to how cold he felt, so I rushed to his side, to help him sit up. 

Samar graoned, reaching foreward I touched his forehead, he was burning up. "Shit," I whisper pulling out a theremometer, I ask him to open his mouth, which he does willingly. After a few minutes, it begins to beep, pulling the theremometer out of his mouth I gasp quietly, it was at 100 degrees farheint. Scrambling for the medication, I quickly give it to him, gently holding the water bottle to his mouth. Samar drinks greedily before laying back down in bed, as if the small movements exhausted him. 

"I feel so cold," Samar whined like a child. "Is there another blanket in the. cupboard?"

"Let me check," I answerd, walking over to the cupboard I pull out another blanket. and laid it over him hoping to warm him up. Hesitantly I climb into bed with him, not getting under the blankets, just to sit beside him. Thats all. "Feeling any better?" 

Samar shook his head, "No," I felt horrible, "I do not understand, I never got this sick before when I came here."

"It happeneds sometimes." I say comfortably, "Try to get some sleep since you just ate the medication. I will make some dinner until."

Samar nodded, shutting his eyes compliently as I climbed out. I shut the door behind me. Finding some comfort that. I had taken the right actions, to help him with his sickness. I may be really mad at him,  but. that didn't mean I didn't care for him, or didnt want the best for him. Unpacking the groceries I got, I began making some soup for Samar, and some noodles for myself. Quickly preparing the food,  I set my noodles to the side and took the freshly cooked soup into his room. Gently placing it down on the side table I shake him alittle, "Samar," I say softly, "Samar, utho."  (Samar, get up)

He groaned unaware of what he was going to do next I leaned down closer, "Samar, the soup will get cold." He grabbed my hand irritated that I wasnt leaving him alone and pulled me dwon closer completely pinning down my hand. underneath his face. His. cheek was still sow arm.  "Samar," I called his name again, but he didn't respond. I tried to slowly maneuver my hand out of his grip but it only made him hold on tighter.  Accepting my fate. I sat down on the floor beside his bed allowing him to sleep soundly. Bored, I begin to admire his features. . .I never said Samar, wasnt handsome, infact he was exceptionally handsome, it seemed as if each feature of his was carefully thought out by Allah Miyaji. His eyes,  his nose, his lips. . .

Wait.  . what am I doing? Panic filled my body as I caught myself admiring him the same way I used to, I could. hear my blood pumping in my ears. 

Shake it off Wafa. . .Shake it off. 

Biting my lip I maneuver my hand once again, this time gaining freedom. I quickly stand up walking backward trying to gain space from him. Do not make this mistake again. .  .

You are mad at him Wada, mad at how he treated you, mad at what he has said and done to you. . .You do not love him. . .this is just a formality, he is just your responsibility. . .thats it. 

Shaking the hand that he was holding I brushed off the feeling of his touch, swallowing harshly I turned my back to him ready to leave the room when I heard something that caused my footsteps to halt. "Amal," Samar said barely above a whisper, it was so quiet I swear i misheard him call out her name. "Amal," He repeated,  "Please, mujhe chor ke maat jao."  (Please, do not leave me) Tears blurred my vision as I turned to face him again, he seemed as if he was. dreaming, as he began to toss and turn. "Please, mere pass wapas aajao." (Please, come back to me) I muffled my cries with my hand as my heart began to hurt. so bad that,  I felt my knees go weak. "Itne dino baad dikhi ho."   (I haven't seen you in so long)

I walk back frantically until my back hits a wall, allowing myself to fall to the ground I try my best not to make any sounds as I hear his desperate cries for his wife.  .  .his one and only love.  

Amal Samar Qureshi. 

I do not know why it still hurt knowing that there. was never going to be a moment in my life where I would be able to feel his love towards me.  .  .I have no idea if it is jealousy or just sad desperation. The desperation that I have managed to hide behind grief, anger, and misunderstandings. .  .The plain and ugly truth is that. .  .Yes, I still love Samar Adeel Qureshi, I do not think I ever will be able to stop but I have stopped allowing that to. be the truth of my life. I have become an independent successful girl,  who doesnt. need marriage to define her anymore,  I have self-respect, and I was no longer going. to let him walk all over me. 

Loving someone is one thing,  but becoming a doormat for them is another. 

The old Wafa allowed that, but this Wafa, I have managed to become, she is not going to allow that, so no matter what, this love that I have hidden in my heart, will stay hidden,  no matter what.  

So, as I always say, all I have to do is. . .

Shake it off.