Waliyah's P.O.V.

The Qureshi home was buzzing with guests for the past two hours,  congratulating Api and Bhai for their fourth anniversary, and giving Dua shagun (Gift consisting of money). Sitting in the corner with Amma and Baba, I admire their full and loving family.  

Baba gently took my hand in his as soon as he saw me and kept it with him as I leaned against him, everything was so perfect at this moment. Of course, if I could share this happiness with Samar it would be a whole other thing, but even if I can share it with my immediate family, it made me happy. "Api looks so happy," I said quietly to Baba, 

Who sighed in return, "I know," He whispered back, "Her small family is so beautiful."

"I know," Getting comfortable against his body, "I am so happy for her."

Baba looked down at me, "Are you happy where you are?" He always asked me this, and answering was becoming harder and harder each time. "Wafa?"

"Baba,"

"Do not lie," He caught up with my plan right away, 

"No," I admitted, "I am not happy," I could not lie anymore, how could I when they obviously saw to what extent Samar when to make my life miserable? "But-"

"Always know that our home's doors are always open for you." Baba cut me off, "You have sacrificed enough Wafa, think about yourself now, I am giving you permission." My body filled with relief, "I do not care about what anyone says, I never have but I know you care about what they say for my sake." I lifted my head off of Baba's chest.  "Wafa," He gently moved the hair away from my cheek, "Please, begin living for yourself."

"I understand Baba," I say, 

Baba pulled me to him closer, almost as if he was trying to protect me from my own self, but there was only so much he could do. "Baba?"

"Mhm?"

"Let me think it over," I have begun to live for myself to an extent, I work, I have my own schedule, I have nothing to do with. Samar other than doing his laundry and essentials. Maybe, I could pull myself away from him more through. Ayra's wedding. Maybe, I could finally stop waiting for something that was never mine. 

. . . 

"Samar abhi tak nahi aaya." (Samar is still not home) Mahira Ammi said pacing around the room, everyone had left, leaving just family members at our home.  "Atif, phone kiya na tumne?"

Bhai nodded, "Mami, he is just not answering." It was almost close to midnight, but this was usual behavior of his, whenever there was a function, he disappeared and came back drunk when he thought. everyone was sleeping. No one knows Samar drinks other than me, it is Haram, he knows, I know. . .and if Adeel Baba finds out, I do not know what he will do. 

Praying to Allah that he does not show up drunk I nervously bit my lip, I had tried making everyone go to sleep, but because of how long no one had contact with him, Ammi was not listening. Slumping back onto the couch, I kept my gaze down worried about what he was going to do next. 

An hour passed and everyone was still  up, until we heard the front doors open roughly and slam shut loudly, "Waliyah!" Samar called my name aggressively, my stomach churned in anticipation.  "Waliyah!"

Swallowing harshly I went to stand up but Ammi sat me back down crossing her arms, obviously not liking the tone he was calling my name in. Soon Samar stumbled his way into the living room, holding a beer bottle. Mahira Ammi gasped covering her mouth, "Yah Allah," 

Adeel Baba's face filled with disappointment, as I lowered my gaze. I had hidden this fact fro them for so long.. "I am hungry,"  He snapped, causing me to flinch at his aggressive tone. 

"Samar!" Ammi snapped, "Kya batameezi hai yeh?" (What is this behavior?)

Samar looked over at her unbothered, "Amma, I just drank alittle."

"Excuse me?" Adeel Baba said just as angery as Ammi. "Who gave you permission to drink?"

"My pain Baba!" Samar snapped, "Now will you stop grilling me, and let me talk to-" He looked around the room obviously too far gone, until our gazes met. My heart skipped a beat as he reached over and pulled me up to the middle of the room, smirking,  "My wife," he spat out poisonously, "Waliyah Samar Qureshi,"

"Samar," I whispered, "Please, stop."

"Or should I say my replacement wife?"

Amma and Abba looked at me with a sad gaze, struggling in his. drip I tried to put a stop to this before it got out of hand. "Samar," I said a bit louder, "You are drunk-"

"In your love?" He seethed, his. eyes were empty, they were never filled with any emotion other than when Amal was mentioned. Samar always looked down at me in anger, anger that I did not deserve. . . "Tell me Waliyah, how long did you think it would take me to fall in love with you?"

I could hear my heart beating at this point, "Samar," I said firmly, "Let go of my hand." Everyone was watching us, "Samar," I struggled as much as I could against him until he shoved me away, making me land on the floor on my knees.

"Samar!" Adeel Baba stormed our way and pushed him, "Hosh mein aao!" (Come to your senses!)

Samar stumbled back losing his balance for a few seconds, but did not fall. Amma came to my rescue and helped me stand up, as my hand hummed in pain. My bottom lip began to quiver, "Hosh mein aake kya karu!" (Why should I come to my senses!) Samar snapped, "Amal is not here, this unnecessary wife that you two have thrown into my life. is here."

"Yah Allah," Amma whispered, "Itna seher?" (So much hate?)

"Amal was the one who had asked her to marry you!" Adeel Baba argued having enough of his ignorance, "She didnt jump at the first opportunity to marry you, when. she. knew how difficult it was going to deal with a person like you!"

"A person like me?"

"A person who loves with all his heart gives. his all to that person. You gave your all to Amal, that's good but try to at least give some respect to the girl who has wasted four years of her life hoping to at least get a proper conversation with you. She is not a piece of furniture you move around, where you please!" Adeel Baba said, "Samar she is a human, who feels things too, she is the most genuine, sweet and kind-hearted girl and you are the luckiest man alive to have. her in your life."

Samar scoffed, "Please Baba," Tears began to blur my vision, "She was waiting for Amal to die, so she can be with me."

That's it, this is it. . .clenching my jaw I shook Amma's hand off and stormed over to him. "Sorry Baba," I whispered to Adeel Baba and lifted my hand up slapping Samar as hard as I could. Samar's face tilted to the. side alittle as Mahira Ammi gasped covering her mouth, "Amal was my best friend before you. wife, I grew up with her, not you, I was with her when she had her diagnosis, not you, I was the one who brought you into her life, you didnt come by yourself!" My voice got louder and louder, with each statement, " I have been taking whatever you have been saying for the past four years because I know you found out about my feelings for you in the wrong way. Yes, I had fallen in love with you Samar but I didnt let that get in my way of fulfilling my promise that I made Amal or you. . .but the person you have become today, neither Amal would. be proud of it, nor am I."

"How dare you!" He snapped,

"I was bringing you to your senses, and I guess it worked." I argued, "I will take anything you. say but if you say a word about mine and. Amal's relation I will not stand for it. I mean it."

Samar had nothing to say, I looked over at Mahira Ammi with an apologetic look and ran upstairs locking my room door, and the joint bathroom door so no one could get to me. 

Silently beginning to cry, I look around my surroundings. . why did I say yes? Why. did I let Amal put me in this mess. . .

I do not know if I can do it anymore. . .

I do not know if I want to be Waliyah Samar Qureshi. . .

I am tired. . .