"Welcome to our clinic," Hoseok greeted from behind the desk as a girl who looked to be in high school or early college walked through the doors, moving slowly as though she wanted to reserve the right to bolt at any moment. "My name is Hoseok," he said, pointing a thumb at his name tag. "What's your name?"

"Areum," she said after a moment, her eyes still flicking behind her to the entrance.

Hoseok didn't move to crowd her. He wanted her to know that she had the option to leave, and that staying was her choice. "Hi, Areum." He smiled, trying not to be too excited and scare her off. "Do you want to have a seat? We'll have someone available in a few minutes."

Areum looked over at the empty waiting area before looking back at Hoseok with wary eyes.

"Even if you take a seat, you don't have to stay," Hoseok said gently. "You're free to go anytime. You're not locked in, I promise," he said with a small laugh. "Being here is your choice, Areum, and trust me, it's a good choice." He hesitated, teeth catching on his lower lip. He wasn't a big fan of sharing intimate details about himself, but he knew there was no pamphlet or printout that could give the same message. "I first started coming to this clinic for help back when I was having a really hard time," he admitted, looking down at the counter and running his fingers over the smooth surface. "I didn't know what else to do, but I didn't want to keep hurting myself and the people I cared about. So I said I would get help."

He paused, chuckling slightly at the memory. "Even though I said I would get help, I was still scared, so my best friend had to drag me here." He paused to look up at Areum. "You're a lot braver than I was." He let that sink in, saw how Areum seemed to stand a little taller, even if she was still standing close to the doors. "I didn't think that I could change, but the doctors here helped me, Areum, and they can help you, too."

Areum rolled in her bottom lip, biting down on it.

"Will you stay, Areum? Just to give it a try?"

She looked behind her, to the doors, then over to the chairs as though gauging the distance and trying to figure out how long it would take her to leave if she took a seat. After a long moment, she gave a small nod and moved to the seating area with calculated steps, sitting down in the seat closest to the door, her eyes flicking to the clock and back.

"We've got coffee and water in the back. Would you like me to grab you a cup?" Hoseok offered, and Areum shrank back in the chair.

"Water," she said after a moment, her voice quiet, but Hoseok grinned.

"One cup of water, coming right up," he announced, hurrying into the back room. He grabbed a Styrofoam cup and filled it with water before hesitating and pouring a little water out so the cup was only filled about halfway. He felt like half a cup of water would be less pressure than a full cup of water. That way, if she didn't drink any, she didn't have to feel bad.

Hoseok returned with the half full (or half empty?) cup to the front room. "Here you go, Areum-" he began, but he cut off as he realized that he was talking to an empty room. Areum's chair had been vacated, and the lobby was empty once more.

Hoseok sighed, feeling his earlier excitement dissipate. This job was the best thing that had ever happened to him, but that didn't mean that it wasn't at times extremely painful.

Hoseok had first started coming to the clinic after he'd promised his brothers that he would get professional help. What he'd told Areum had been absolutely true; despite his decision, he'd still needed Wonpil's help to be able to step through the front doors. Looking back on it now, he didn't really understand. What was he so afraid of? Getting help? But why wouldn't he have wanted it?

But he thought that maybe he was just scared that getting help officially would be really admitting that he had a problem. He'd always known that he'd had a problem, but he'd been able to call it by other names to get through the day. He just wasn't feeling well, that was all.

It was like he'd spent years trying to get used to it, to accept it as part of himself. The idea of changing that had been scary to him. The thought of confiding in someone else, someone he didn't know, that had been scary too. It had always felt like some ugly secret that he shouldn't share, and to get help had meant letting the secret out.

And maybe he would have continued trying to hide it if it hadn't been for Wonpil, who had dragged him to the clinic, had sat next to him, had encouraged him to go see the doctor, had waited in the lobby the whole time for him, and who – after Hoseok came out of the doctor's room with red eyes and tear streaks down his cheeks – had given Hoseok a hug and told him that he was brave.

That was what Hoseok wanted to do for others. He wanted to be their Wonpil. He wanted to help them get help. That meant believing in people, getting invested in their well-being. But not everyone could do it. Some people – like Areum – couldn't make it past the lobby room. Some people couldn't even make it past the front doors. So it hurt sometimes when he wasn't able to help them how he wanted to.

Hoseok knew, logically, that it didn't really matter how nice he was or what stories he told. In the end, they had to battle it out with themselves, and that was something Hoseok couldn't be a part of. He couldn't help those who didn't want to help themselves. All he could do was hope that they'd give themselves a chance.

For a moment, Hoseok wondered if he shouldn't have left the room. Maybe if he'd stayed behind the counter, Areum wouldn't have left. Maybe she wouldn't have been alone with whatever thoughts had made her walk back out the door.

Hoseok set the cup of water down, shaking his head to himself. It wouldn't have mattered if he would have stayed. Even if she'd gone in to see the doctor, if her heart and her head were dead set against getting help, then she wouldn't get any. She'd reject it as a defense mechanism to keep coping with her condition. She needed to confront herself before anyone else could truly help her.

But that was okay, Hoseok thought. Because the clinic wasn't going anywhere. And when Areum decided that she was ready, it would be on her own terms, and he'd be waiting behind the counter to welcome her back.

Hoseok checked the time to see that his shift was almost over, and sure enough, he looked up to see his coworker entering the building. They talked for a few minutes as Hoseok cleaned up the station and logged out of his account. He was about to head out when he noticed the half full Styrofoam cup still sitting on the counter.

He hesitated before picking it up, and after saying goodbye to his coworker, he left the building, crouching down beside the front doors to empty the water into the nearby flowerbed.

He got into his car but didn't start the engine yet, instead pulling out his phone and scrolling through the contacts. When he found the one he wanted, he hit call and held the phone up to his ear.

A click on the other end cut off the ringing, and Hoseok could hear a few people yelling jokingly in the background. "Hello, you've reached the side character that's the main protagonist in a different world, how can I help you?"

"Hey," Hoseok said with a grin, eyes flicking up to the rearview mirror to watch the cars amble by. "I just got off work, wanna meet up?"

"Hey, if it isn't the protagonist I exist to revolve around," Wonpil greeted with a chuckle, and there was the click of a door shutting on his side of the call as the voices in the background became muted. "How was work?"

"It was good," Hoseok said, although his smile slipped a little when he thought of Areum and the empty chair. "Someone came in near the end but didn't stay. But hopefully they'll come back."

"And when that time comes, you'll be there," Wonpil said for him, and Hoseok nodded although he knew Wonpil couldn't see him.

"Exactly. I just have to be patient. I mean, you supported me for I don't even how many years before I finally got help."

"You're doing something really great, you know," Wonpil said, and Hoseok bit down on a grin.

"And you know that I only keep you around to flatter me," Hoseok said in response as he turned the keys in the ignition.

"I'm not paid enough for that."

"I don't pay you at all."

"Exactly."

The two laughed before turning back to the beginning of the conversation.

"So?" Hoseok repeated. "Want to hang out somewhere?"

"Sure," Wonpil agreed easily. He had ended up rooming with a few of his friends from college, and even though Hoseok still wasn't keen on hanging out with Wonpil's other friends, Wonpil always made time for Hoseok as well. "What do you want to do?"

"Maybe...we could get a bite to eat?" Hoseok suggested hesitantly. Even though he was doing a lot better now, that invitation never would have slipped from his lips before. It wasn't something he was used to asking.

Wonpil's silence on the other gave away how surprised he was as well. "Uh, yeah, that'd be great," he answered, and Hoseok could hear how his mouth formed a smile halfway through the sentence.

"Great, I'll pick you up in ten," Hoseok finished, and they both said goodbye before Hoseok hung up and started driving.

--

published 06/10/20 (mm/dd/yy)