LESSONS

SUMMARY: I had been growing increasingly more used to feeling these almost-human emotions over the years, but this... This was something utterly bizarre and bewildering. I felt lost in the situation, once again a helpless student to another one of Life's lessons. (Rewrite of Robin's birth from Slendy's POV)

TIMELINE: Chapter thirteen of "A Slender Child"

GENRE: Angst/ Family

NOTES: We get to hear from Slendy!! :D
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Helplessness was not a sensation I was used to hosting. Emotions in general were things that I'd lack for the majority of my long existence. The emotions I did know were hard, and usually un-beloved by most others. I'd known hate very well - it was as known to me as lust was to a human predator - and anger went almost hand in hand with that. My only version of happiness before was a twisted, perverted symbol of what most others saw it for. A few years prior to now, my greatest joy was found in killing, which was fueled by hate, which was fueled by anger. As any who has ever felt true happiness can attest, joy found in destruction is not a true happiness unless you are simply and utterly mad; however, this particular false prophet of happiness leaves you feeling rather lost afterwards, with no exuberant thrill or remaining buzz.

These where the only emotions I had been used to encountering within myself, and yet I'd started to grow accustomed to a few others over the past several years: desire, concern, jealousy, possessiveness, fear, love, and true, honest happiness. The cause for this sudden influx of feeling could be contributed to none other than the very woman who now was introducing me to the unfamiliar sensation of hopelessness. I had no one else to blame but my little Sky Olivia Steele.

That was a lie, honestly - I knew that in actuality the criminal was me. I would not have to feel so miserable - so lost - if I had only taken the elementary precautions. She was broken - dying - and it was no one's fault but mine.

Since first realizing I loved the little human, I'd wondered if, and how, I would kill the soft creature. Would she die by my tentacles wrapped constrictively around her neck when my self control slips over my anger? Would it be my claws that ripped through her flesh when I forgot myself and had just meant to caress her? Would it be my razor edged teeth that bit into her body if my monstrous desire over came my control one day? all of these scenarios had seemed very possible - probable even - but I never once imagined the true way that I would kill her. To put it poetically, I killed her with love, but poetry was not appropriate for the situation as there was nothing pretty about what I had done to her, albeit indirectly. She was dying, and it was my own demonic spawn growing in her belly that was killing her as it fought its way out.

The hospital we were in smelled of blood and death - all hospitals did - and it wasn't a smell I was unused too. However, unlike most every other time I'd breathed in the aromas, they did nothing to comfort me, especially as the closest source of the smells was emanating from the fragile human who lay in the bed I paced in front of. She moaned softly and her body stiffened as a contraction took her, and I rushed to her side, taking her shaking hand in mine.

"Be strong, my Sky," I whispered, brushing my hand over her forehead and moving her hair out of her face. I poured as much of my healing power into my touch as I could, hoping at least to take away some of her anguish, but it was in vain. My powers weren't designed for this.

Hushed voices caught my attention from the corner of the room, and I looked up at the medical staff. I could taste their unease - they knew the birth was complicating.

"Is something wrong?" I wasn't quiet sure why I bothered asking. Of course something was wrong.

The human females looked up at me. Momentarily I was struck by how unusual it was for their eyes not to widen in fear once gazing upon my person. My disguise, while a simple one, was obviously enough to fool their meek minds. The believed me to be human beneath my hood and glasses. Idiots.

The younger woman glanced from me to her companion uneasily. "Um..." she faltered.

Her companion, the doctor in charge of my love and unborn child drug a smile to her face from somewhere deep and reluctant. It was a fake smile that was meant to assure, but held no real promise. "Well, as we were just discussing, it appears, Ms. Steele, that you have gone into what is called 'prolonged labor,'" she spoke to Sky instead of me.

I stiffened. So there was an actual medical name for this. I realized with a crushing sense of disparity that I'd been subconsciously hoping that I was over reacting and over reading the atmosphere - that my little one was going to be okay. Obviously that dangerous hope had been in vain. There was something wrong. "What does that mean?" I asked in a tight, painful voice.

"Ms. Steele's been in labor for twenty hours now. At this point it starts to become a concern that she may not be able to deliver the baby on her own," the doctor explained to the both of us, then turned her attention solely to Sky. "We'd like to administer a medicine to you called oxytocin that will strengthen your contractions. If that doesn't work, then we'll have to prep you for a C-section."

"No C-section," Sky whispered weakly.

"Sky, listen to the doctor," I said forcefully. Now was not the time for her stubbornness.

"I wanna push it out myself," she breathed in attempted protest.

The younger human healer nodded to my love as she prepared the medicine. "I know Ms. Steele. Hopefully the oxytocin will work and the baby won't have to be delivered by C-section. If you can, it would probably be a good idea to get a little rest now."

Sky nodded weakly and obediently let her eyes flutter closed. Softly I kissed each closed lid. "Rest my little one. Don't worry, I will protect you," I murmured to her gently.

She made a low noise that I distinguished as a weak chuckle. "Protect me from what exactly?" she asked.

"Everything," I vowed.

Her tired smile was the last emotion on her face before she drifted off into the dark, lulling realms of sleep. Her breathing leveled and her slightly contorted features smoothed out into a blank, peaceful slate. The room was silent but for our own breath and three separate heart beats: her's, mine, and the monster's. Unlike the average delivery room, there were no beeping electronics or heart monitors - my presence had made sure of that. They had shorted out and died soon after my arrival in the room, and after the nurses had replaced the appliances several times, they came to the conclusion that the electrical circuits in the room where causing the machines to fry and were relying on old fashion observation to make sure all was well.

I gently cupped the fragile woman's face in my hand and traced the outline of her lip with my thumb. Again, I poured as much of my power into her as I could. I was draining myself dry, pouring my own life into this human. I wasn't exactly sure how Slenderfolk died, but I had a sinking feeling that if I continued this, I would end up killing myself. But how could I not give her everything I had? How could I not give her my life when it meant nothing without her anyway? By the time I took my palm off of her clammy cheek, I was trembling slightly, and the black veins under my skin stood out more prominently. In my current state, there was little more I could do for my love - I was too weak.

For several moments I battled inwardly, warring with the different voices of advice and reason in my head. If I was going to regain my strength there were two things I had to do, each unthinkable in their own right: I would have to leave Sky, and I would have to feed... Kill.

Kill a human...

And I wasn't sure I had the time to track down any specific undesirables of the species either. Any morsel would have to do.

Ever since the earliest stages of our relationship, I had known where my little one stood on the grounds of murder. To say that she wouldn't be happy if I took an innocent life for the sake of her own would be an understatement. She would be furious.

And then of course there was the matter of leaving her side, even if she was sleeping, for any amount of time. It was painful to even think about.

So it came down to leaving so I could give her more of my power and prolong her life by just a bit, or staying by her side and watching her die sooner... probably ending my own life and dying with her in the process of giving her all I had left. Honestly the latter choice seemed the most pleasant of the two undesirables. I couldn't live without her anyway.

But I couldn't not do anything to help the creature before me, so weak and fragile because of my mistake.

I leaned down and pressed my lips against Sky's. She was almost as pale as I was. "I'll be back, little one," I promised her as if she could hear me. "Don't wake before my return. I love you."

I didn't bother attempting to hide myself as I stalked down the alley down the block from the hospital - I still wore the sun glasses and hoodie that Sky had begged me to don at the start of her labor. In any case, I had spotted my respite. The urban camper who was sleeping behind the Dumpster would be fairly foul compared to a cleaner specimen, but time was of the essence and there was less of a chance of someone missing him.

His demise was nothing spectacular - he simply just never woke up. The blood ran red and warm from the slash my claws had created across his throat and I hunched over his body and let his life's energy fill me.

When I stood, finished with my snack, my clothes were as crisp and clean as they had been before; I'd had enough centuries of practice to have mastered the art of a "clean kill." My energy was returning and my body felt more agile and stronger. It really was spectacular the difference flesh made as opposed to human food.

Licking my lips, I stepped forward and slender walked back to my love. Thankfully, she'd remained unconscious throughout my absence. Grabbing her small hand in mine, I settled into the chair next to her bed and resumed spilling my healing powers into her, giving her all the energy I could, and praying to whomever was listening that she would wake up at all.

By the time twenty-three hours of labor had passed, I was nothing less than a nervous and despairing reck.

"Sky..." I kept murmuring over and over. I didn't even know if she could hear me, so I knew not why I called her.

"Slendy..." she answered feebly and I grasped her hand tightly.

"I'm here Sky." I put a great deal of effort into keeping my voice from trembling. Despite my best efforts, my traitorous voice cracked with pain as I spoke her name.

The doctor had been hovering by the bed for a few minutes now, checking on my little one's vitals. "Ms. Steele?" she asked gently. Sky only mumbled vaguely in response. "We're going to prep you for your C-section now. At this point it's become a concern that the baby may be in danger."

I felt Sky go tense beside me and her heart speed up. I was sure if her face had had any blood left in it, she would have blanched.

If truth be told, had I had any color at all I would have too.

I stood aside and let the nurses move her from her room and down the hall towards the operating room. The swell of her belly was painful for me to look at sharply contrasted under the harsh fluorescent lights.

For reasons I could not even fathom, Sky chuckled weakly as I strode alongside the rolling bed. Incredulous, I look down at her. "What's funny?" I asked.

"Nothin'..." she breathed quietly.

"Mr.... Slender?" the younger healer woman said hesitantly.

"Yes?" I refrained from growling. I didn't like her tone.

"We'll need you to change into these before you can go into the operating room," she said and handed me a folded bundle of mint colored cloth - or attempted to hand it to me rather. I refused to touch it.

"I can't... stay in what I have on?" I asked coolly.

"Not if you want to be in the operating room," the she replied.

How dare she? This little insect of a human would not prevent me from staying with my Sky, and I would not put on any cursed scrubs! A growl bubbled up from my chest and I hissed through my teeth. After all I had been through in the past twenty-four hours, it was not wise to trifle with me. My aura pulsed out from me like a pyroclastic cloud, and it took all of my control to rein it in on my right side and spare Sky the blunt of it.

My mental storm slammed against the nurse's feeble mind as I broke through her will. She gasped in pain and staggered backwards as I increased the mental assault. "You will let me in as I am," I snarled.

Her consciousness snapped, a trickle of blood running from one nostril and her eyes going wide and hazy. "O-of c-course. I-I don't know w-what I was th-thinking. S-so sorry sir," she stuttered in fear and agony.

I sneered at her condescendingly, not even bothering myself to reply, and turned from her and her disgusting scrubs, once more falling in stride alongside Sky's bed.

If the hospital smell had been of death and blood before, it increased tenfold upon entering the operating room. My stomach churned and I startled myself with the realization that I was biting the inside of my cheek so hard it was bleeding.

And that was before they started cutting her open...

"Slendy..."

I looked down at her ghostly pale face, knowing very well that worry was etched all over my own. "I'm here love. Don't worry, it's almost over." At least I was assuming it was - I was intensely avoiding looking over the screen that shielded her upper half from the sight of her lower.

"Okay, you're gonna feel some pressure here," the doctor said, but I barely heard him. I held my breath as Sky's face contorted with pain...

And then shrill wail pierced the silence.

It was over. Done. The thing, creature, monstrosity - it was finally out. It couldn't hurt my little one anymore. I risked a glance over the divider, curious in spite of myself to see what my demonic spawn looked like.

Ghost eyes were the first thing I saw, sharp and far too aware for a newborn human. They pierced through me, straight though my disguise, my flesh, my bones, straight down into the dark abyss that was my monstrous soul, they pierced my pulsing heart like a frozen dagger and left me nearly gasping for breath. In that moment, everything changed. It wasn't a monster, it was an infant. A child - my child.

"It's a girl..." I whispered hoarsely. A girl... I had a daughter. My littlest little one, Robin Sky Slender...

Meanwhile, while my entire reason for existence was being rearranged, tears began streaming down the mother of the causes's face. "Let me hold her," Sky whispered breathlessly.

I knelt down beside my love's side and gazed at our daughter's face, memorizing every feature - her porcelain skin, her fine ebony hair, her mother's face, and my nose - she was beautiful. My mind wandered back to just a few hours ago and to how much I thought I'd hated this child. All that anger - all that fear had been needless. Sky was still alive and breathing beside me, no longer in pain; she had survived and endured. After all was said and done, it had been worth it to live this moment and hear the tiny heart beat in the life I had helped create. For once I had created life, not destroyed it. I had my tiny little one.

And I loved her.