the sky is still a little dark but there are people moving around this pool. surprisingly finding this place as my comfort spot.
he was still asleep when I left the room.

that terrible incident still stuck in my mind. makes me lose my spirit even to just take a breath. but what happened these days also made it clear that I needed Jeongguk more than anything.

I already depend on it.

that reality is so horrible because this means I have new fears that I might not be able to control.

fear to lose him. absurd fears that in fact will surely happen someday. I felt like I was faced with the choice to throw myself into the abyss that I knew was endless. I don't know how long I spent sitting here quietly digesting everything.

the sun was almost setting and the sky was dark when I back to the apartment. the room is empty. maybe Jeongguk is leaving. all that was left was the bed and the blanket that I remembered wrapping his body earlier.

when I past the pantry table, I found my cellphone lying there. I don't even remember that all day I left that thing just like that.

there are seven missed calls. two of Jeongguk at 8oclock and 5 calls from Tae.

why did jeongguk called me at eight in the morning?
the person who just crossed my mind just appeared when the apartment door opened. his breath was still panting. his eyes showed shock that slowly turned into relief. he stepped closer then without saying a word, he pulled my body in his arms.

"I thought you disappear"

his arms are tight. his hands are full circle reaching all parts of my back.

does this mean I can start dreaming about happiness again?

---

everything goes so fast. maybe it's too fast. the clock count changes to days. counts of the day change to weeks. and the number of weeks changes to months.

there is no meaningful debate. there are no questions or statements. everything just goes that well.

a gentle kiss every time he wants to leave this place. a passionate kiss that followed almost every night. is this what is called happiness?

that fear still exists. afraid of drowning with the realities that exist and forget that the relationship between us starts with something that is not good.

but the question of whether this is all good also finally appears asking for an answer.

I don't know and don't want to know.

my selfishness and maybe what happened to me taught me to enjoy everything before all this ended. after all, no one will ever know that maybe this is my chance to be happy for a long time.

living with him is like a time bomb that stops at 00; 01.
nobody knows whether the machine has stopped completely or the opportunity to return to work and explode.

I realized I had the choice to leave before the explosion took place, but enjoying all the time left in the end became my choice. nobody knows when the explosion occurred. maybe there will also be no explosion because the time bomb has stopped completely.

---

"egg?"

my smile again was unbearable to hear his guess. he paused, still thinking with a trolley that was used as a place to rest his hands.

"bread?"

he guessed again as we passed the bread section. my smile is bigger.

"is everything about me always having to do with food?"

"i guess yes, hehe." he replay.

"that means I'm the winner of this round."

he seems not to want to admit his defeat. he was still busy pacing, looking thinking trying to find answers to our game.

after color, now its turn to guess what I like. I could easily guess that his favorite color is black and the thing he liked the most is the watch he always looked for every morning.

he managed to guess baby pink as my favorite color in his second guess. his gaze stopped at me while still trying to hold back a smile at his hard work.

"its not... flowers, right?"

without being able to control the smile on my face disappear instantly.

he paused to see my expression as if consciously saying something wrong. we both know, flowers remind us of someone. a woman whose name has never even been since the incident.

"only bank interest" I answered briefly.

he sighed with relief and then smiled. At least I have to try to dilute the situsion, right? "

"so what the answer is?"

"i'll tell you when your guess is right"

"can I find that thing in this place?"

if what he means is this supermarket, of course the answer is no. I shook my head softly.

"I never said that the thing I like is an object."

"so it's not an object? ah.. is something that can be bought?"

"not really."

the wrinkles on his temple are increasing, showing how hard he thinks.

"you really teasing me."

he replied to my little laugh with his wry smile.

"Jeongguk-ah?"

the voice of the call made us look at the owner of the voice.

a man with a woman beside him smiled towards Jeongguk while pushing the trolley closer.

"jal jinaesseoyo?? I haven't seen you for a long time."
his handshake was greeted by Jeongguk.

"yah jeongguk-ah, this is my wife." the man introduced his wife to Jeongguk and they shook hands.

ny body suddenly showed a strange reaction. there was a feeling of discomfort that I felt in an instant.

nausea began to flare up with cold sweat on my palms. there is a strong desire to stay away from them as soon as possible.

"Jieun?"

once shocked by the name used, my view returned to him. the man turned out to be looking at me with a smile. his gaze was friendly but I couldn't stop the anxiety that filled my feelings.

"aniyo hyung, her name is Rosie."
said Jeongguk.

I replied to the man's smile for a moment then intend to retreat slowly from there. Jeongguk just pulled my hand to force me to get closer to him.

"oh, mianhe. I thought you was Jieun. I'm seokjin. and this is my wife, Jisoo."

even though I was hesitant at first, I welcomed their handshake and said my name again.

It's hard for me to hear my own voice. I think both Jeongguk and Seokjin can also feel cold sweat in the palm of my hand. the man engaged in a short conversation with Jeongguk before finally pushing his trolley towards the other.

there is silence between us after Seokjin and his wife leave. he walked in front of me while pushing our groceries. whereas I walked following his steps despite being busy with my own thoughts.

seeing my reaction when Jeongguk's friend appeared, raises the question that maybe the wound from the incident hadn't disappeared completely.

myself is not sure that I have fully recovered. maybe already, with the closeness between us. or maybe not, with so many things we don't talk about.

he was still silent looking busy with his mind just like me. he stared straight at the street in front of him despite the fact that the traffic didnt require that much attention.

"Jeongguk-ssi.."

he responds quickly to my call.

"I think I'm better now."

he placed my hand on his lap then his thumb gently rubbed the back of my hand.

"we don't need to talk about it if you are not ready."

"not talking about it makes all this more terrible."

"everyone needs time and I know you also need time."

"naega..."

"you know, sometimes the best way to forget a bad thing is to think of it as a dream that never happened."

he managed to prevent me from completing my sentence.

"you know that all keep haunting me every night."

"no more. you've been much better lately."

the rubbing on the back of my hand I felt again.

"but you see for yourself how I reacted when I met your friend earlier. I..."

Its not possible for me to acknowledge my own fear.

"you'r just not ready yet. one day everything will be fine."

"how can you be so sure?"

"because I think I know you much better than you thought."

the grip of his hand increasingly showed how confident he was of his new statement.

"I hope you'r right, Jeongguk.."

we are quiet again busy with a view in front of us. time? this discussion reminds me of something.

"do you also still need time?"

I don't know if this is the right time to start this topic. but curiosity demanded that I ask such a big question.

"what do you mean?"
he looks confused this time.

"about Jieun."

the grip of his hand stretched instantly. his expression changed to show his reluctance to what I had just asked.

maybe he's right. everyone needs time. I was about to pull my hand back from his lap until I felt his tighten again.

"if I tell you about my past, will you also tell me about you? "

maybe this is the time to make sure that the time bomb will stop completely.

continue tomorrow!
sweetie pls pls vote and comment, it means so much to me thank you!