he looked at me silently. why should we always be like this? when will he stop making me confused with his attitude? I drowned my face in my arms.

I just want to be alone for now.

when I lift my head, I found his squatting right in front of me while still holding an umbrella above us.

his gaze was unreadable. he didn't look surprised or whatsover. dont know what I should say, I just quietly returned his gaze.

he stood up and reach out his hand. even though I had doubts, I grab his hand.

I don't have anyone now. only this is what I can do now. the subconscious that brought me to this place at my worst time. to where he is.

I don't know how many times I've sneezed. My nose is clogged with the heat I feel all over my body.

"have you taken the medicine?"

there is no intention to answer his question. my head feels dizzy. I just want to sleep now.

"the medicine is work for me.. but, haciuu..!"
in fact, his situation is also no better than me.
I closed my eyes again hoping that this dizziness and cold would disappear when I opened my eyes later. I shouldn't feel weak like this.

---

the touch on my shoulder made me blink slowly. I still have his back.

reluctant to show him that I was awake. his hand rubbed my waist slowly. then he gently pulled my body closer to him. I could feel every breath in his chest that had almost no distance from my back.

"mian"

even though it was more like a whisper, what he said was clear enough. what he said was enough to make me find peace again. even though it's only for a while, this is enough for me.

"still dizzy?"

I answered the question with a shake of my head. he was still in bed looking hard to gather his consciousness.

I woke up leaving him to go to the kitchen and try to busy with the omelette I was preparing.

the sound of his steps sounded. not having time to see his figure, a hand landed in my temple. what he did almost made me drop the skillet in my hand.

"It's not as hot as last night" he smiled then passed to the living room.

it was amazing how he could behave as if nothing had happened after everything we had gone through.

"you made it for me too, right?" he asked again from behind the sofa.

without much talk, I moved the two servings of omelette I made to the plate. I placed one of the plates right in front of him while I walked back to the pantry intending to eat my food there.

he back with a plate in his hand and then took a high chair facing the place I was sitting. he placed his plate in front of me and then began to enjoy the meal.

"A little bit salty, but i still can eat this. Is this your favorite food?"
I don't understand the direction of the conversation.

"or is it just this food that you can make?"

"i'm alright" those words just said. I'm too sure of my assumptions.

hearing what I said, his fork stopped. then there is only silence between us. my guess is right, he tried too hard to make sure that I was fine.

regardless of the one who was now silent and staring straight at me, I ate the food in front of me. I don't know exactly how long he looked at me in silence, but not long after he returned to busy eating food in front of him.

"I think the eggs are still too salty" he muttered again.

"next time I will reduce the salt." I answered briefly.

"promise?" his eyes were fixed on me as if looking for firmness in my words.

"promise."

the nod of my head was followed by a smile that was once again painted on his face.

-----

tt one o'clock in the morning and we were still sitting in front of the TV watching a movie in silence.

I don't think we really cares about the flat tv in front of us. I found his view blank several times even though his view was directed at the tv. it seems he is also busy thinking about many things like what I do now.

what should I do after all this is over?

that question continues to haunt me. although its embarrassing, I have to admit that I've been comfortable here... with him.

don't care about so many bad things that happened because of him, my heart always believed that this place and himself had become a separate hope for me.

when he offered his hand yesterday, all of his actions that had hurt me in the past seemed to only be a scenario that could eventually be forgotten slowly.

unfortunately, my heart is not a quick benchmark to prove that what I think is true. however, I must accept the fact that all this will end when I am ready or not.

at a time like this, I was reminded again that there was nothing I needed to fear.

I've lost everything, including eomma.

"what are you thinking about?" the question made me aware of my thoughts.

"what about you?" I asked, answering the question.

"if I tell you what I'm thinking, will you do the same thing?"
I nodded.

"I'm thinking about everything. about this situation and also about the purpose of my life." he began telling stories while trying to look relaxed by leaning his body completely on the sofa.

"then how's the end?" I asked again.

"I haven't found the answer"

his voice sounded calm even though there seemed to be something he could not fully reveal.

"how about you? what are you thinking about? "

"not much different from you. about all this." he nodded at my answer.

"have you found the answer?"
I shaking my head and then greeted with a smile.

"but you can help me find the answer." I said, trying to sound confident with my statement.

"how?" he directed his gaze at me.

"when do you want to end this all?"

any thoughts about this chapter? cuz i feel like this chapter is a boring one kkkk
if u have any question about Sleep With Me, drop that on the comment section!