Slaves of the Night

Chapter 4: With Or Without You:

  I couldn’t help but think that the dress I was wearing was ridiculous. It shrunk wrapped to my body uncomfortably, and I fidgeted the whole time I was curling my hair. Getting into the darn thing had been worse, I had even contemplated going in my underwear instead of going through the hassle of wrangling the stupid thing on me. I mean no one would actually see me right? I would be under a graduation robe; they wouldn’t be able to tell me if I was wearing sweat pants or a Vera Wang ten-thousand dollar gown. Just deal with it—I would yell at myself as I bit my lip from shrieking from repeatedly burning my ear with the curling iron—it’s just one night. One night and you can go back to being an unkempt slob.

  That was the bargain I made with myself and I was going to see through it if it killed me. At the rate it was going I might not live to see twenty, but I wasn’t left much time to dwell on it. Sneaking out of the Everdeen household hadn’t been an easy task, but I had managed it at six thirty in the morning. I fired up my car and booked it to my house, which was growing more distant and unfamiliar by the day. My dad wouldn’t wake up until eight and I still had another half hour to finish up my hair curling and make him breakfast. I assumed—hopefully—that he had been too tired returning last night to notice I wasn’t in my own bedroom when he got home. But even if he did check in on me, a good home-cooked eggs and bacon wouldn’t keep him mad for long. Chewing and ranting just didn’t go together in his book.

  I hissed as I released the last curl out of the iron, before yanking the plug out of the wall so it could cool and piling the hair on top of my head to cascade down in a high ponytail. There, everything was done; I could release the breath I was holding. While I had allowed Quinn to pick out the dress months ago, I had gone against her wishes on the shoes, opting for sensible flats instead of the heels slash lethal weapons proposed. Standing up, I was thankful for sticking to my resolves because I didn’t wobble on my feet. The mirror showed me back myself, except improved, eyes enhanced with a little mascara and lip gloss swept across normally pale pink lips. The dress was not going to win me any favors with the sun, being as black as it was and long sleeves, but it did look better in the mirror than when I had been attempting to force it on myself.

  Shuffling aroused from the bedroom near mine, and I hurried out of the room and down the stairs to make breakfast. The fridge and cupboards were stocked with only what I had bought before coming here that morning, and I didn’t need to take much time before having whipped a successful batch of eggs, bacon and toast to please the eyes. When I had gone to the grocery store I hadn’t really known what my father liked to eat anymore; being that he probably ate every night out at fancy restaurants with all his lawyer buddies. Flustered, I had searched for the most simple and standard of meals to make to stay on the safe side, my only risk was choosing fruit to complement the dish. Cutting that up before I made my nails presentable, it went straight from the fridge to the table.

  The shower had stopped and I was left to shift and stir a little longer in the kitchen uncomfortably as I waited. And during the time if anything was left to sit too long, like the flowers in the vase or the silverware on the table, I had to meticulously rearrange them to look not only proper, but perfect. The eggs and bacon were probably already cold by the time he would be done getting dressed, and I pondered whether I had enough time to just whip up a whole new batch instead of microwaving them. God, I swear the man took more time to primp in the morning that Quinn did; it didn’t take all that much time to shave and brush your teeth did it?

  Finally I just settled on sitting at the table, fingers thrumming on the table and eyes peeled on the doorway. Through all that and he still managed to sneak up on me, coming up behind me and laying his warm hands on my shoulders, “Breakfast smells good,”

  I jerked from out of his hold in shock, whipping around at him to stare wide-eyed. He was smiling ear-to-ear as he made his way to his side of the table. Finally relaxing in his presence, I smiled in my chair, “You were gone so long that I forgot you were a jerk,”

  His face turned stern, “Is that anyway to speak to your father?” he said pointing his fork at me. My grin widened, as I rested my hands on my intertwined hands trying to keep my eyes from sparkling in happiness. “What am I kidding? I am a jerk,” he started laughing, digging into the breakfast with no complaints.

  “You’re lucky that breakfast is hot, I had to microwave it twice because you took so long in the bathroom,” I said warningly.

  “Oh I know, I took long because I wanted to see how long it would take before you came up to get me in aggravation. Seems like I lost against the good smells from the kitchen, but the next time, I swear, I’ll be victorious,” he said, through a mouthful of eggs. It seems his eating skills—along with many other men I knew—hadn’t improved with time. Where were all those polite table manners that I learned as a child? Certainly not with the teacher and parent. But other things had gone through his absence without being frozen in time. His dark hair was weathered and streaked with gray, distinguishing his age and reminding me that he had so much on his metaphorical plate to deal with. I wondered if many people heard his laughter anymore, because the smile lines around his eyes and mouth weren’t as prominent as they had been last time I saw them; as if his smile and laugh were especially reserved for me. I hoped that wasn’t so, if it were, I’d demand him to quit his job right now and come home. Nothing was worth him being unhappy with life, I could get a job and help pay for everything if that’s what it took.

  Looking up from his plate, his amber eyes twinkled in unsaid laughter, and sharp pangs shot through my head. One of my favorite similarities between me and my dad was gone; our eyes were no longer the same unique blend of red and brown. Instead now mine were a light hazel, leaving me out in the cold, separated even more from my last family member. He must have sensed the sudden change in mood in me, because he sobered up, “Honey, it’s alright to be nervous, it’s graduation—everyone’s nervous! Just think about how satisfying it will be to walk down those stairs for the last time with your diploma in hand and all your hard work worth something tangible. I swear, it’s one of the best feelings.”

  “I’m sure it is dad,” I managed to murmur, looking down at his plate, all the food half eaten.

  The next thing I knew he was brushing a stray curl out of my face from across the table, “You look beautiful, Sammie. I’m so proud of you, and I wish I could be here more to say it as many times as you deserve.”

  My lips quirked back up in a slight smile, “I wish you were here more too…” Realizing how late it was already, I jerked away from the table, “But you need to eat your breakfast, we have to be at the school at nine,”

  He quickly finished, and I swept his dishes away to be put in the dishwasher—secretly loving the swish that my dress made around my calves—but not speaking a word of it. Dad was dressed up too, in a simple suit and tie; though nothing could be called simple in his wardrobe. The clients his firm occasionally reeled in required him to have a suit with some taste and class, and a haughty price tag. Whatever my dress cost, I was sure his attire doubled.

  Instead of hounding me with questions of my whereabouts while he was gone he just offered me his arm as we walked to the car, making me grin in his extravagant acting skills. “We mustn’t be late then, shall we,”

  I regretted coming; with a heated, furious passion. With as hot as it had been last year, you would have thought I would have remembered how horrible graduations were in the summer. Of course then I had been in the stands, where your backs were too the sun and you weren’t center-staged on a giant black carpet that covered the former football field. It attracted heat like no other and had half of the student body sweating in no time, myself included.

  “Dear god—“ I muttered when the principal continued on pointlessly with whatever rant he was on now. Something about us starting the rest of our lives or another, not that it mattered, we were all too uncomfortable to pay attention to the supposed ‘greatest day of our high school careers’.

  Sneaking sly glances at Tristan was pretty easy, considering he was sitting directly next to me. His eyes were glazed over as he stared blankly toward the podium, probably deep in thought over something. Of course, he wasn’t sweating, which seemed impossible since he was a werewolf, aka meaning he’d be sweating in normal temperatures. Darn him and his well acclimated body. 

  My other side was Quinn, who had snuck in an mp3 player of some sort—one that desperately wanted to steal an ear bud to—anything to keep the principals voice from haunting my thoughts. She was hiding it well though; the only indication was the tapping of her foot softly on the ground and the fact that I could hear the lyrics from where I sat. Otherwise it was well concealed under her dark hair, swept inconspicuously over her ears heavily.

  To keep myself otherwise occupied, I scanned the crowd of people. There was all my friends parents; pardon Quinn’s, I couldn’t picture her regal mother and father being anywhere near a gathering like this. My dad looked about as excited as a sack of potatoes as he glared at his program, probably not able to read it with the sun shining down exactly right on it. The crowd barely outnumbered the number of students graduating, which wasn’t saying it wasn’t an impressive amount of people; we had a large class.

  Heaving a sigh, I slumped a little more, glancing back at Quinn again, who was looking back at me. Bored out of our minds, couldn’t explain this. She muttered something about the principal that I couldn’t quite make out but getting the gist of it I smirked knowingly. How could such a boring man, keep up such a lengthy speech? The world may never know.

  “Well, you didn’t have to go to last year’s graduation. The stands are even more torture than these seats.” I said as an under-thought. As sad as it was, it was true; last year graduation had been delayed a few weeks due a violent storm that knocked a few dozen trees over amongst the town. Including one landing directly into the football field, which was the only place big enough to house all the graduates and their families. So it had been pushed back until all rubble was removed, and by the then it was already the middle of June, making it hotter than now.

  She was silent for moment before emitting out a, “I was sick,” she tried innocence, looking up bashfully up at me but all I could think of was liar ruefully.

  “Yeah right, you just didn’t want to sit through this. I came… for your brother!” I said exasperated, forgetting that I was supposed to be whispering and escalating my voice a little. Quinn grinned wider, seizing some opening I must’ve given her.

  “That’s just because you had a thing for him last year,” she said teasingly, glancing up into the stands to the general direction of her brother. My face flashed with brief embarrassment, recalling the period of time where I had been head-over heels crushing on Nick Malone. But who hadn’t been? He was the jock, the academic scholar (maybe), and had a pretty decent sense of humor; and it didn’t help that he wasn’t all that bad looking.

  “I did not, we were—“ I started to defend myself, when a hand clasped on my hands that were on my lap, seizing my voice.

  Tristan leaned over me to speak directly to the two of us, his facial expression grim; god knows he had better things to do than sit here bored like the rest of us and he surely didn’t want to do that with two girls bickering beside him. But still, he could back off a little couldn’t he? “You two need to be quiet, I want to just get this over with,” he muttered toward the two of us, his hand squeezing both of mine intentionally while glaring at Quinn.

  I mentally rolled my eyes, but relaxed back into my chair with a huff breaking his hold off my hands by taking them off my lap. I could feel the tension rolling off of Quinn in waves, she did not like Tristan; at all. Not being able to really blame her, I just let things be for now. Luckily the tension didn’t have to last long because the principal—Grant? Or was it Graham? I didn’t know—started announcing names and Tristan was near the top of the list.

  He left me with Quinn, who was finally eager for something in this whole affair, leaning forward in her chair and waiting for the alphabet letter before her last name to start being called so she could get in line. We all were excited; this is what we had been waiting for, the end. Big hurrah! Grand finale! Whatever other names you could give it; it was a new—and long awaited—chapter of our lives.

  She left before me, and I was left with the final portion of the class. There was a long line of students who had already received their diplomas and were standing and waiting for the rest of us to hurry up. Tristan looked bored again, his hands behind his back probably wringing his diploma into a little paper tube. I caught his bright eyes, reflective in the sunlight and received an encouraging wink as the W’s were starting to go. I took a deep breath and stepped onto the platform, ready and waiting for anything to come my way.

  Guess what? I had been right about Kyle and Rebecca, when I walked to them after graduation they were sidled up to one another while talking to Quinn and Nick. I managed to sneak in behind them, smiling a bit at the predictability of my friends’ romantic lives. My own romantic life sneaked up behind me and poked both of my sides playfully, but enough to make me wince.

  “Such a jerk,” I muttered almost inaudibly, knowing he’d still be able to hear me, before speaking to everyone, “So are we ready to go eat?”

  A small but cheerful chorus of yes’s answered me and we all headed out to our separate cars, Quinn begrudgingly tagging with us instead of her brother. From the looks that Tristan kept shooting her way, made me sure that the feelings were mutual between them. I sighed when he refused to unlock the door for us all, just being a stubborn prick. But eventually we were on the road, the car so awkwardly silent that I couldn’t bear it anymore.

  “So… you happy we’re graduated?” I asked Tristan, he was driving but allowed himself to take his eyes off the road to look at me. My heart stuttered in fear, forcing myself to recognize that he was an excellent driver and wouldn’t crash, but I still was nervous about it.

  “Sure, I guess,” he shrugged; looking very well put together in his dress shirt, tie and black pants. The blue of his tie popped the silver in his eyes and made it hard to look away, but I did for the sake of my best friend in the back seat.

  “What about you?”

   She gave the same reaction as Tristan had and I groaned inwardly before slumping slightly in my seat, staring out the window to focus on anything but the atmosphere in the small car cabin. The air conditioning from the vents chilled the thin veil of sweat that I had had on my skin from the heat, just enough to make it comfortable. All the sitting hadn’t done me good, my bones and muscles ached to be moving, running, something. Before—a term I had come to describe everything that hadn’t been Tristan wrought—I could’ve sat in a desk and listened to lectures for hours, but now my body was restless and amused by anything that involved some sort of activity. Especially since I could count down the days I had before the full moon on one hand; the same hand that was fidgeting on the side of the seat.

  “Isn’t that way quicker?” I asked, when Tristan took a different route to the restaurant we were heading to, I hardly remembered the name, but had been there enough times to remember the route by heart.

  “I know what I’m doing,” he said, his voice tight. I saw his jaw clench from the corner of my eye, as he flexed his fingers over the wheel. First I had just trying to make conversation but now he was mad because I corrected him? This seemed a little outrageous, even for Tristan’s temper. My eyes narrowed a little as I tried to isolate what the real problem was that was making him angry. I hadn’t done much today that would result in anyone being mad at me, besides sneaking out of his house in the morning, but that hadn’t been much of sneaking because I’d told him the night before that I’d had to leave. Of course, he wouldn’t let me drive home so late, a lame excuse of his, and made me stay until morning. Then there was the graduation—which granted could’ve made anyone irritated after so long of it—but we had all suffered, why was he overreacting when the rest of us were fine?

  He caught my eye again with his, and now I was sure something was off. It almost looked like he didn’t want to be mad, but was anyway. “What’s wrong?” I mouthed to him, the softest of noise coming from my voice.

  Shaking his head, he continued driving, and I’m sure my eyes sparked with a little infuriation. “I’m leaving,” he said silently, and my expression changed to confused.

  Leaving the what—car? Huffing out an irritated growl I probably would have lashed out with words at him right about this moment if there hadn’t been a spectator from the back seat. My face flushed with a dull embarrassment as I realized it might’ve looked like we were parents trying to keep details away from the children.

  I stayed silent until we got to the restaurant, glad that Quinn was quick to peal out of the back seat and head in, so I could turn and glare at Tristan without persecution. He attempted to reach for the door handle but I snatched the sleeve of his shirt. “Leaving where?” I demanded.

  He sighed, running a hand through his messy black hair, sticking it up a little further than it was already; now that I looked at it, it looked like he had been doing that often recently. “Town, I’m leaving town, on a hunt and search.”

  My jaw clenched, a hunt and search was what Rayne had just gotten back from; for Ian. Now I could trust Tristan’s older brother with my life, but apparently not my secrets because something must’ve sparked the fire in him to make him want to take action in this whole fiasco. Finding out about the letters would’ve done just that. But keeping on the safe side I didn’t mention them in case he was just on one of his instinct knee-jerk reactions to everything. “Why? There’s no need, Rayne just got back from one.”

  “Yeah, but he only went in one direction, plus it wasn’t his idea. Most of the members of the first search party were pretty fired up about not finding anything and constructed another, and since they can’t go without some sort of higher up instructions I have to go with them.”

  “You have to? Don’t you guys have like a—a Delta for those kind of things?” I asked, trying to remember all the correct terms in pack hierarchy. Setting Tristan loose would be one of the worst things that could happen right now, he would kill someone or end up getting killer. Before it had just been protecting me, but now Ian had attacked him personally during the fight over the winter, doubling the price held over Redwood’s Alpha’s neck.

  He made a noise half caught between a scoff and chuckle, his lips quirked slightly upwards, “I wish,” his head was tilted back, getting a good view of the roof.

  “Well get to work on that…” I muttered, before swallowing my fears. If he really wanted to do this, there wasn’t much I could do to stop him, because he’d just push me aside in the process. I could just see him saying the words, ‘it’s for the bigger state of things’ and list all the reasons I needed to be protected. “But I really don’t see a problem with you going, I’m just upset you didn’t tell me earlier,” I was such a bad liar, but he bought it with an arched eyebrow.

  “I found out myself just this morning, we’re leaving tomorrow. But I’m not worried about myself, it’s leaving you here that worries me, especially since there are certain things coming up really soon,” I blinked at his words for a moment before remembering what I had been worried about only moments before.

  “I’ll be fine, it’s the sixth full moon, I’m used to it by now,” but I couldn’t keep my voice from shaking a little. All I could do was clench my fists at my sides and force myself to believe that I could leash in my inner beast. She didn’t control me, that’s not how it goes, despite what she wants.

  He looked at me blankly, betraying nothing underneath the silver glass pools of his eyes; I could see myself in them, putting up a front that was so visible to me. It’d have to be painfully obvious to him too. But all he did was take my hand in his, taking his eyes away from mine long enough to see his thumb brush against the engagement band I’d forgotten to take off my finger.

  I moved to take it off, but he clenched my hand further, “No, keep it on. No one will notice anyway, just me.”

  I smiled, leaning in to place a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth, “I know, everything will be fine, I know how to take care of whatever gets thrown my way,” I murmured, not just talking about the ring.

  We walked into the diner, and sat next to the rest of the group, Tristan’s arm casually draped across my shoulders as we ordered and went on like we were normal teenagers. My body was going through all the motions at least; smiling at the jokes, joining in on the conversation appropriately, but my heart wasn’t in it. My mind neither, both were somewhere else as I couldn’t get my thoughts away from Tristan going out into the dark looking for a lethal animal. Every blink that passed before my eyes was clouded momentarily by the visions of Ian, his smiling and deceiving face.

  My mouth urged me on to try and convince Tristan to let me come along, but I bit my tongue. Hunting down Ian would just be playing into his hands, because somehow he’d get under Tristan’s skin, no matter how hard he’d protect me, and have me. The day we had gone under Redwood territory he had said how much I reminded him of his mate, that I should have been his from the start. At least if I stayed here, I’d be on my own turf and be able to draw him in instead of playing his games.

  I was brought back to reality harshly. It had taken longer than I thought it would—because I knew that a rock on my finger would catch someone’s attention at least—and I’d forgotten to keep my sleeve tugged over my hand, but the moment I saw Quinn’s eyes widen in my peripheral vision, the gig was up.

  Before I knew it I was being dragged into the bathroom, by a very furious girl a foot shorter than me, but with a strength to nearly crack my wrist. She locked the door, and the flash of fear ran through me, this was it; she was finally going to kill me or something, wasn’t she? Or something worse; she had a wicked mind that I didn’t dare underestimate that could surely create something to get my secrets out of me.

  “Are you pregnant?” she demanded, her eyes clouded with anger. My jaw dropped in utter shock and I was left looking like a fish out of water for a few minutes.

  “What?” I yelled, what in the world—me pregnant? Naturally I reared back at the estimation, but had to reason with myself that it wasn’t nearly as bad as some of the true things she could come up with about me, “No! What in the world would make you think that?”

  She whipped my left hand up into view, glaring pointedly at the ring. “This. Why in the world is this on your hand?”

  I relaxed a little, the ring wasn’t a big enough deal for her to slit my throat for, but I shifted uncomfortably, trying to find the words to explain my engagement. Obviously most of the details about my relationship with Tristan had to be kept in the dark, which didn’t leave much to tell, “Oh that.”

  I wanted to face palm myself, playing coy wouldn’t get me anywhere either. “Yes that.” She growled waiting a proper answer.

  “Well…” what could I really say? The truth, was possible. I blinked, glancing in the mirror as if myself would give me some help.

  “Well.” She mimicked in a high pitch voice, my fingers flexed in irritation. For one, I did not sound like that. For two, it wasn’t like I was the only one keeping secrets… okay maybe I was. But I didn’t really know that.

  Finally I pulled my hand from her grasp, wanting to regain blood flow to my fingers. My thumb brushed up against the cold silver of the ring, “I forgot to take it off…” more like I’d been forced to wear it to make someone happy. I guess, secretly, I loved the feeling of it on my hand, and the meaning it had with it, but it was a nuisance for a secret identity.

  I heaved as exasperated sigh, “Tristan proposed… I’m getting married.”

  Putting on a smile and hoping she’d be happy about it was a hopeless dream. Instead all I was welcomed with was her backside flashing out of the bathroom, and as I reached the door as it was closing, I witnessed her pulling Nick out of his seat and dragging him out the door, leaving money on the table. Tristan was looking back at me, only slightly surprised, and I looked back at him wanting to express I told you so in more than words.

  Tristan and Quinn. Quinn and Tristan. Really the only two things on my mind that seemed real, and neither was letting go of the awful feeling it had attached to it. Tristan was leaving and Quinn was stubbornly not answering any of my calls or texts. The next morning was sunny, but not sunny enough to make Tristan getting up from the bed when he thought I was asleep and getting into the shower for the last time any easier. I stared out the window as the seven am morning breeze warmed the room, as I clutched to my pillow.

  The water from the bathroom was running, sending a steam through the cracks beneath the door. How stupid could I have been, to say he could go and just leave me here to fend for myself? As much as I hated to admit it, the thought of the full moon without him was unbearable; I hadn’t had that since my second change. With him here, everything was at ease, but without… It seemed impossible to remain in control with my own bodies functions. My jaw clenched and unclenched, I seemed so weak, I couldn’t even fend for myself, against myself. What did my wolf have on me that I couldn’t fight? Words, and enticements were what she had, and she knew how to use them well. She didn’t talk to me anymore, almost as if she was saving up all her pent up energy for the change, so she’d have some sort of upper hand.

  Rolling onto my back I arched so I could stretch my muscles, muttering how stupid I was the whole time.

  I was tense the whole time we all sat down for breakfast, and when Tristan kept me close during a last minute pack meeting; one that he insisted I be part of even though normally non-pack members weren’t allowed. That dispute had never settled, whether I should be considered truly part of the pack or not, my condition was traipsing on foreign ground and it made everyone nervous. So basically I was a rogue who had joined forces with a pack, though as long as I had Rayne and Tristan, I felt as much a part of everything as I needed to be.

  I was coiled through all of that, and it only got worse when we finally got the point of goodbye. The morning I had wanted to drag agonizingly slow with me and taking the leash and pulled me forward against my will and all I had left were a few minutes before I’d be left alone. Tristan was tossing a few bags into the back of his car, as I sat on the porch watching banefully. His best friend Wes was watching me carefully, leaning against the car as Tristan did most of the work; he was in the portion of the pack that was still uneasy with me, even though he got looks from the Everdeens’ every time he acted strange.

  A few more guys I didn’t recognize were scattered among the front lawns of the main pack house, waiting until it was actually time to leave. I’m not quite sure how these things went, but I was sure I probably didn’t want to find out. I just sat back and watched all of the goodbyes, my legs crossed underneath me and my cell phone pressed against my thigh, waiting for a call that I’m sure would never happen.

  The seat beside me creaked as Tristan sat, trying to get into my view as I sat slightly dazed, “Are you sure you’ll be alright?” he asked.

  Letting out a deep breath, I nodded, looking at him with a small smile, “Of course, do you expect anything less?”

  “Not at all,” he chuckled darkly, placing his lips on my forehead in a surge of warmth. The sudden connection of skin brought my face up allowing our lips to brush. The brush had no time to escalate before he pulled away with a sigh, “I’ll be back in a few weeks, if all goes well all of this will be over, for good.” One look in his eyes this time and I knew that Rayne had spilled the beans. God, he really was bad at keeping secrets.

  I didn’t say anything but instead watched again as he walked away. As everyone disappeared from the yard and in five minutes time all that was left was the imprint of the tires as they had rolled away. Remembering what had happened when me and Tristan had had the big fight before my second change, the total irregularity of our body’s emotions and activity level, I could feel the comfortable feeling I had when he was around stretch like a rubber band the further he drove away. This was going to be a long couple weeks, but I had patience right?

  My patience lasted all of one day more in Quinn’s case, at least before I got fed up with texting a full message box and leaving empty voice mails. I was being forced to stay at the Everdeen household while Tristan was gone—which was alright since my father had already headed back to the city, leaving an empty house to me—but also meant I was Rayne’s charge. So instead of being able to grab my keys from the counter, I had to wait while Rayne got enough time away to be able to drive me to Quinn’s. All the independence I had worked up over the years seemed to disappeared in the matter of weeks from when I had started seeing Tristan, and now it was like being a little child again, waiting for my parents to finally pay attention to me.

  Rayne was more solemn today, and we all knew why, because tonight was the full moon. It was risky going over to the Malone’s on this day, but I was sick of just sitting, waiting, doing nothing while the world ran circles around me. This was one thing that I could change by doing something, so therefore I was going to do it. But Rayne’s attitude didn’t stop him from being himself, cracking jokes periodically and commenting on everything under the sun, which kept me smiling and away from being jittery.

  “I’ll be back out as soon as I can, it shouldn’t take long,” I told Rayne when we finally got down the incredibly long driveway leading up to Quinn’s house. It couldn’t totally be categorized as a house, more like a mansion, but she didn’t like it being referred to like that. She liked all the clothes that she could get but overall didn’t like the concept of being rich, because where as my dad was away all the time because we needed money, her parents were gone because they had money.

  I stood nervously at the front door, deciding to forgo the doorbell and just walk in, as far as I knew the only people here were Quinn and Nick, and they didn’t care if I came in unannounced. In fact just like had predicted I saw Nick walking from the kitchen and he didn’t look surprised to see me at all. “She’s in her room,” he mumbled through a mouthful of chocolate cake. I smirked at his face, and raced up the stairs.

  Her room was perched near the top of the stairs, her door cracked open. From what I could see, which was little, her room look like a bomb hit it. And then decided to regurgitate a closet full of clothing. Cautiously, in case something might jump out of the shadows, I pushed the door open further. I almost hadn’t recognized Quinn amongst the whole mess, a pillow covering her face as she lay in the middle of the floor. She apparently didn’t notice I was there yet, so I looked around the room in full. I guess, it didn’t look that bad, I mean the place wasn’t completely covered in clothes, there were a few bare spots. I rubbed the back of the my neck, seeing the open dangling chair that I always perched from when in her room, the wide picture windows that opened out into the field known as her back yard. I hadn’t been here very often since that last fall party we had hosted, the one where Tristan had pushed me into the pool and I had brought him in with me. Back then, I hated his guts; well, I probably still hated his guts now, but I loved every other part of him.

  “What happened in here?” I finally spoke up, and the pillow flung off my best friend’s face in shock.

  She scrambled up in her panic, kicking some loose object underneath her bed in the process, “Who let you in?” she asked instead of answering.

  “Nick…” I said softly, in truth he had directed me here, which was good enough.

  She heaved an exasperated sigh, “Nick!” she yelled, receiving a muffled reply from downstairs, no doubt her brother getting into even more food in the kitchen, he was practically starved up there at college even though he had the money to get a buffet for every meal if he wanted it.

  Then without acknowledging me further, she started neatly folding clothes and placing them in a large suitcase lying on her bed. It was so obvious she was ignoring me that I felt my hands ball into fists before I resolved them to relax and just collapsed into the floating chair. “Quinn…”

  It took her awhile and I was afraid I was just going to be sitting in a room with only the sound of her busy hands for company, but when she did finally respond she did so in a sharp voice, “How long had you guys’ been engaged?”

  “I week, only a week,” I insisted though it felt like both a shorter and longer period of time since I had first heard the proposal from Tristan’s lips and had the ring slid smoothly onto my finger for the first time.

  I could feel her eyes on me, but I just looked out the window. The room was open to the summer breeze but I was still uncomfortable with the heat, though to anyone else it would have been pleasant. “I would’ve told you wouldn’t I?” she asked sadly.

  “Yeah, you probably would have.” I said, getting irritated with reasons she wouldn’t understand, but I could at least try to make her see couldn’t I? “But things are different for me right now; I can’t be expected to explain everything anymore,”

  The conversation was getting more awkward than I would have expected, so I searched for something else to sidetrack with, “What exactly are you doing?” I asked.

  She looked down at her suitcase like she’d forgotten about it, “Oh umm… I’m packing for college.”

  My face scrunched in confusion, “Don’t you think that’s a bit premature?” I laughed, thinking it was a joke but she wasn’t joining in so I stopped pretty quickly. I rocked back in the chair, enjoying the free feeling momentarily, “Care to elaborate why you are packing so early?”

  “Care to elaborate why you aren’t telling me what’s going on with you?” she retorted from inside the bathroom, pushing all of what was on the counter into a bag. I could feel my irritation growing, but I kept it under wraps, it wasn’t either of our faults that we didn’t see eye to eye anymore.

  “It’s not like you tell me everything.” I replied saucily against my will, arms crossing over my chest.

  I could see the scene of her throwing her hands up in the air theatrically though it didn’t really happen, “Fine, I’m leaving for college early, tonight in fact!” she announced.

  A sense of pride welled in me at first, she was going to college! There had been a time where she hated the idea of extra years of schooling and avoided the conversation like the plague. Those had been the times where I was the one who was always pushing for the picture perfect grades and GPA to make scholars proud. But it also came as a shock that left me groping for the right words, luckily they came quicker than I’d thought “See, when would have told me this? When you already there? You were just going to up and drive away without anyone knowing, leaving everyone wandering where you had disappeared to.”

  Her face was turning a light shade of red in anger, “Like yours was much better. I planned on telling you at our dinner the other day, but you getting married kind of overshadowed whatever I would have said. You and Tristan are not meant for each other, it’s a disaster waiting to happen. Can’t you see it?”  Her voice trailed off, but not before what was said and done.

  My lips peeled back from my teeth in a slight snarl, my protective instinct over Tristan kicking in. She knew nothing, and I wanted to pull her up by her collar and make that clear only inches from her throat. My reaction to her words scared me, and even though I could stop from taking action I couldn’t stop from saying what was on my mind, everything was too jumbled for that. “You know nothing, so don’t you dare try and to say that we aren’t good for each other. I already know that, but there are things deeper than being able to get along a hundred percent of the time.”

  I was now standing in front of her, my presence towering, and I could guarantee that with the power of my wolf backing me up shining in my eyes anyone else would have been scared at least a little. But she just shook her head and whispered hotly back, “Maybe I would get it if you let me in on some things. Instead I’m on the back burner for everything, so don’t you criticize me on what I see before my eyes. So you should probably tell me what’s going on, or I’m going to see it the same.”

  My shoulder was pushed so I fell out of her way, and she left the door, leaving me behind in her room that still looked trashed. I took deep breaths to calm myself down before heading down after her, stopping to grasp the hand rail at the top of the stairs. She was hugging her older brother as he said something smart to her, a laugh produced to cut through the tension. I relaxed at how she could interact with her family with such ease in which I couldn’t; she couldn’t possibly know the bond I had with Tristan so there was no point in being mad as I was.

  I silently made my way down the stairs to sit at the bottom as she said goodbye before Nick left and she looked awkwardly back at me. It seemed we both had calmed down fairly quickly, but someone would have to speak up before anything worse happened. “Quinn, I really want to tell you, I really and truly do. But I can't, it's just not something I'm capable of. I haven't told anybody, so you aren't just an exception that I'm ignoring; it's something I have to keep to myself. Do you understand?"

  It was the closest I was ever going to get to admitting something and I hoped she understood. Her shoes squeaked as she shifted uncomfortably. There weren’t many gigantic fights between us, and I could tell this would go down in the record books if not the finality worth severing a relationship over. "I can understand... but you can tell me anything. It wouldn't change how I thought of you at all. Do you understand that?" she said, looking up at me, her eyes worried.

  I blinked and realized that tears had welled up in my eyes, something I couldn’t remember having done in a long time. "Yes, I do. Just trust me on this; you don't even want to know,"

  We hugged, her squeezing me tightly. I had not only lost Tristan, but now I was losing Quinn. Who would I have left after this? The next few weeks looming ahead of me seemed like an eternity. After all the farewells I was forced to see her drive away, another person that I loved leave my life. Hopefully not for forever.