I freeze, blocked, mouth dry, eyes pinned at nothing. My mind is on a race, this has finished blowing out my last stock of dopamine. I look at Chris, his eyes are shiny like he's on the verge of tears, looking at me with a hope I definitely don't have anymore in any particle of my fucked up body.

"Wow...Chris...I...." I muttered, slightly shacking my head. I feel dizzy.

"I know, Dan...just...don't say anything. Um...I just needed to let it all off me".

I look at him and see a pearly tear running down his cheek. My soul drops to me feet.

"Hey...hey Chris, you don't need to cry, mate". I move quickly and sit next to him to give him a hug. I feel myself like fucking shit to make him cry like this. I've never even seen him cry before. "It's ok, I'm here...I'm here with ya". He hugs me tightly, I can feel some kind of vibrant warm running through my body, and it makes me feel relaxed. Ben's face appears on my mind, floating like a feather in the air.

Feeling tortured by my own thoughts, I hardly realize Chris has loosen the hug and he's staring at me at only a few short inches from my face. I look at his amazingly beautiful brown eyes. I'm confused as fuck, and a shiver runs down my spine. What the fuck am I even doing? Am I actually letting this happen? What the fuck about Ben? How can I do this to him? But I know, I fucking know I'm about to kiss Chris.

Our lips meet and he kisses me softly but firmly, pressing his lips on mine passionately, as if he had waited a very long time to do this. I feel his hand caressing my hair, even pulling it a little bit as the kiss gets deeper. I let myself get carried away kissing him back. He slides his other hand on my back, under my shirt, and his cold hand makes me jump a bit. Chris is getting closer and closer to me until we are both together, our bodies pressed against each other. He kisses my neck, I feel his anxious warm breathing while I close my eyes. Both of his hands are running through my back, his fingers gently pressing my skin. I'm feeling agitated and surprised as fuck. Ben has never kissed me like this, he has never touch me like this, he has never made me feel these things I'm feeling, like I'm burning inside. Chris' passion is for real, and this thought makes me laughs a bit in my head.

"Hey...um...Chris" I muttered, trying to stop and get him to chill a little bit. "Chris, listen to me, mate". He looks at me placing his hand on my face, softly touching my cheek. His look is alarming: he seems deeply in love and it scares me a little cause I don't know what to do with all this.

"I know, Dan. This must be too much for ya". He takes both my hands in his and looks at me sweetly. "Is just that I've waited so much to be with you, to kiss you. Sorry I haven't told you before. I know you must be feeling guilty because of Ben..." I look at him, surprised as fuck. How does he knows what I'm thinking right now? "Please, don't worry, ok? I just wanna be with you for a while" he says, kissing me again.

He carries me to his bed and we both lie down. Everything starts happening fast, and next thing I see is Chris ripping out my shirt, with his clothes already on the floor next to the bed. I feel goosebumps all over my body, although I'm not cold, but very much the opposite.

I woke up, my head feeling like lead. The light coming from the window hurts my eyes, my hair is all over my face and I feel like a mummy rolled up in bed sheets. Beside me is Chris, sleeping. We're both shirtless but wearing our underwear, and suddenly reality hits me like a cannonball. Memories of what happened flushing through my brain cells like acid. I get up and start getting dressed as fast as I can. I'm feeling like shit but there's a shred of pleasure and enjoyment. Nobody ever, not even the girls that have been with me before, not even Ben, had made me feel like Chris this afternoon. I let myself out of his room, and I rush to mine, running on the hotel hallway. In what mess I'd gotten myself into?