Am I losing it? What's happening to me? I almost kissed Ben yesterday. If Chris hadn't opened the door, I think I would have done it. And what the fuck would have happened? What if Ben had rejected me? My hands are shaking right now. Show went well, I actually controlled myself in the last moment before going up the stage and we rocked the shit outta that place. After the show, I found it difficult to look at Ben straight in the eyes. Maybe I felt a little bit guilty to let him see me off guard when I almost kissed him. I wonder if Chris noticed something, I was pretty close to Ben's face when he broke up the scene. After-show euphoria is slowly leaving my body and my mind starts to spin like an angry engine. I'm starting to fear myself, what if I erupt again in front of Ben like that and I can't control myself? Cause I don't even know why I'm feeling this. Only thing that I know right now, is that I want to be with him all the time. So...day off. No shows, no interviews, no nothing till tomorrow afternoon. Chris went to McDonald's, his favourite place after the stage. Maybe playing bass burns more calories than science knows, or maybe he's trying to clog his arteries faster than life itself, thing is he can't spend more then 3 days without a Big Mac. But we love him anyways. So Ben and I are here in the hotel, all to ourselves. I'm playing Crash Bandicoot (my favourite) on my PlayStation when I hear Ben's door closing right next to my room. Three seconds later, my door swings open revealing Ben. I throw the joystick and look at him.

- Hey goob, whatcha up to? Wanna play some Tomb Raider?

- That's sounds cool - He says, smiling. His hair swinging to the rythm of his steps. But first let's read some of these.

He offers me a bag filled with letters and some stuffed animals. Not to mention a couple of bras. Fans were throwing them at the stage yesterday and leaving their letters in the hotel. We always love to get these amazing gifts from them so we left note to the people of the hotel to pick them up for us. We start reading them, making a mess of letters and drawings on the floor. Some of them were dedicated only to Chris, so we set them apart. After a couple of hours of laughing, talking and reading, Ben turns on the TV. We were craving to watch The Crow, a movie Ben and I like a lot. I'm feeling happy to say the least. Nothing can be better than to spend time with him like this and end the afternoon with a movie we both enjoy watching so much, both eating Snickers and M&Ms. Sitting next to each other, I grab my black nail polish and proceed to colour my nails. I notice Ben watching me while I concentrate on my nails, and I feel that feeling I only get when he's around. My face starts to burn.

- It's been a while since you painted your nails black, huh?He says to me, watching carefully to my procedure.

- Well, I got kinda stuck with the red polish, but I feel like black today. How does it look?He smiles, my heart jumps for a sec.

- Looks great on you, mate.

- Wanna try?

- You serious?

Ben laughs while I catch the red polish and get close to him, grabbing his left hand. I love the shape of his nails, the feeling of his rough hands. Must be from the drumsticks...So I start painting.

(Sorry for the abrupt ending of this chapter. Will continue super cute and super close tomorrow <3)